Etiquette of Good Society

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ETIQUETTE

OF

Good Society

EDITED AND REVISED BY

LADY COLIN CAMPBELL

' ' There is no outward sign of good manners hut has a deep
foundation in morals." — GoETHE

CASSELL AND COMPANY Limited

LONDON PARIS b' MELBOURNE

1893 v/

All rights resert'td

^ %o/^^-

The Lady's Dressing-Ro<

Translated from the Ftench ^BARONESS Staf

BY

LADY COLIN CAMPBELL.

Cassell 6* Company ^ Limited^ London^ Paris and Met

PREFACE.

It may be said that the books already published
on the subject of " manners " and " etiquette " are
sufficiently numerous for the wants of the com-
munity; but to this remark we would reply, that
although the broad principles of manners remain
the same, yet the minutice are continually altering
and varying, and modes of speech and action
which were considered the height of politeness a
few years ago would be pronounced, at any rate
very old-fashioned if used and exhibited in the pre-
sent day. As this is shown to be the case more
fully in the Introduction, it is only necessary to
state here for what purpose the subjects treated
have been chosen, and why they have been placed
in the order in which they will be found.

Christenings, Weddings, and Funerals seem to
be the subjects which stand most prominently for-
ward in the catalogue of social observances, hal-
lowed as they are by sacred rites and ceremonies ;
attached to and consequent on these principal
events are a host of minor circumstances, Which
also demand attention.

Birth — the commencement of life— with all its
attendant ceremonies, is naturally the first subject
considered. The next three or four chapters are
devoted to a description of all the conventional
forms and arrangements necessary to be known b.^

iv Preface.

the neophyte on his or her entrance into socie
Etiquette, Letter-Writing, Visiting, the Toilet
a thorough knowledge of all these subjects \
save the timid maiden and the shy youth fr<
awkward embarrassment when obliged to act
their own responsibility.

Then Marriage is considered, and consequent
that all the onerous duties it entails on the mirr
couple in their new position in life, as Host a
Hostess ; the various ways in which they n
show hospitality to their friends in connection w
the table, by the giving of Breakfasts, Luncheo
Dinners, Teas, and Suppers, which may be gr
or small, grand or simple, according to the wisl
and means of the donors themselves.

The different amusements, in-door and open-j
which may be provided for the entertainment
their guests are next described, such as the arran
ments necessary for Dances, Picnics, Private T
atricals, Garden Parties, and sports of various kin

Presentation at Court, the subject of the ni;
teenth chapter, is an episode in the life of cc
paratively few people, it is true ; but still it
mands a place in this volume. The closing sc(
of life, and the last sad offices performed by
survivors, naturally form the subject of the fi
chapter.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER I.

INTRODUCTION.

PAGE.

The Existence of a Code of Manners in Early Times —
Manners of the Last Century — Necessity of Good
Manners— On Polish— ** A Gentleman "—"A
Lady" — Titles of Honour—Heraldry 9—24

CHAPTER IL

BIRTH.

Old Customs - Private Baptism — Public Baptism— God-
parents — Christening Presents — The Christening —
Confirmation — Age required— Preparation — Dress
necessary — The Ceremony 25^34

CHAPTER in.

ETIQUETTE AND SOCIAL OBSERVANCES.

Origin of the Word " Etiquette '' — The Distinguishing
Mark of Good Manners — Against Extreme Ceremony,
Excessive Apologising, and Affectation — The Laws^^
of Introduction — Attentions to be paid by a Gentle-
man to a Lady — Different Modes of Bowing and
Shaking the Hand— The Walk— The Carriage-
Conversation — Voice — Laughter — Inaccuracies of
Speech — Laws of Precedency 35 — 52

CHAPTER IV.

LETTER-WRITING.

How to Write a Letter — **Pens, Ink, and Paper;
Sealing-wax and Wafer " — Diflferent Forms of
Invitation — Modes of Addressing Persons of
ismiK ••• ••• ••• .•• ••. ... jj^""^*

\

vi Contents,

CHAPTER V.

VISITING. PA(

1 he Use of " Calling " — Occasions when Calls should
be paid— The Card-case and its Contents — Cere-
monies of Calls — Cake and Wine — Visits — Length
of Visits — Conduct when Staying in a Friend^s
House — Gratuities to Servants 62 —

CHAPTER VI.

THE TOILET.

Neatness— Suitability — Style of Dress appropriate for
Christenings — When paying Calls — At Garden
Parties — Picnics— The Seaside — Lawn Tennis —
Morning Dress — Dinner and Ball Dresses— Jewel-
lery — Bride's Costume ; Bridesmaids' — Guests at a
Wedding — Mourning — Man's Dress — As a Bride-
groom — At Garden Parties — **Full Dress" —
Jewellery — Hat and Gloves 75 — \

CHAPTER VH.

MARRIAGE.

*• Things to be thought of" — Interview with Father-in-
Law — Engagement Ring — Wedding Presents — Eti-
quette of Courtship — The Bridesmaids — The Licence
and Banns — Bridegroom's Presents to Bride and
her Maids— Day before the Wedding — Wedding
Day — Ceremony — Breakfast — Departure ... 90 ~ !<

CHAPTER VIIL

HOUSEHOLD APPOINTMENTS.

Variety of Household Appointments — A good Manager
— Styles proper for different Rooms — Breakfast,
Dining, and Drawing Rooms — " Best Rooms " —
Temperature of Rooms — Laying the Table — List of
Requisites for entertaining Twelve People 107 — I

CHAPTER IX.

BREAKFASTS.

Eating and Drinking —Breakfasts in Particular— Break-

Contents, vii

PAGE

fasts in the Olden Time — In the Present Day — IIow
to Set the Table, and what to put on it — Wedding
Breakfasts — Hunt and Sportsmen's Breakfasts —
Breakfast Dishes for the different Seasons ... 115 — 123

CHAPTER X.

LUNCHEONS.

Manners at Table— What to place there, and how to
place it — Hot Luncheons — Cold Luncheons 124 — 127

CHAPTER XI.

DINNERS.

*' The Dinner Question " — Dinner Tables of the last
Ten Centuries— Good Cookery — Waiters — Invita-
tions — W hom to Invite — Dinner en Fatnille and a
la Russe — Carving — Table Appointments and Dec-
orations — Arrival of Guests — The Dinner — Wines
— Dessert — Retirement of the Ladies — Coffee — Tea
— Departure 128 — 154

CHAPTER XII.

TEAS.

High Teas — What to put on the Table — Arrangement
of Drawing-room — Afternoon Teas ^ 55— ' 59

CHAPTER XIII.

SUPPERS.

Appointments of the Table— French Display— Our
Supper Tables— Impromptu Suppers — Hot Sup-
pers ... ... ... ... ••• ••• 100 — 164

CHAPTER XIV.

BALLS.

Public Balls— How to Manage them — Tickets — Intro-
ductions — Duties of Stewards — Fancy Dress Balls
— Private Balls — Rooms necessary — Music — Lights
— Decorations — Cloak Rooms — Tea, Drawing, and
Ball Rooms — Card Room — Duties of the Enter-
tainers to their Guests — Of Partners to their Part-
ners-^" Cinderella Dances " ... 165 — 176

\

viii Contents.

CHAPTER XV.

PRIVATE THEATRICALS. PAGE

Charades — Tableaux Vivants — Wax-work Exhibitions
— Private Theatricals 177 — 185

CHAPTER XVI.

GARDEN PARTIES.

Lawn Tennis Parties 186— 1S9

CHAPTER XVn.

EXCURSIONS AND PICNICS.

Private Picnics — Conveyance of Guests and Provisions
— Subscription Picnic — Election and Duties of a
Manager —Provisions and Beverages ... 190 — 194

CHAPTER XVni.

FIELD SPORTS AND AMUSEMENTS.

Hunting — Shooting— Fishing —Boating — Tricycling —
Skating ... ... ... ... ... ... 195 — 203

CHAPTER XIX.

THE COURT.

Buckingham Palace — Who may be Presented — Court
Dress — Rules and Regulations — The Drawing-
Room — The Levee — The Irish Court — Court
Mourning ... 203 — 209

CHAPTER XX.

DEATH.

Things to be done immediately upon a Death — Old
Customs— The Funeral —The Mourners— The Ser-
vice—Reading of the Will— Inquiries by Friends—
Acknowledgments— Sunday after the Funeral-
Monuments 210—216

THE

ETIQUETTE OF GOOD SOCIETY

CHAPTER I.

INTRODUCTION.

The Existence of a Code of Manners in Early Times — Manners
of the Last Century — Necessity of Good Manners — On
Polish— **A Gentleman"— "A Lady "—Titles of Honour
— Heraldry.

••A man by nothing is so well bewrayed
As by his manners, in which plaine is shewne
Of what degree and what race he is growne."

** Faerie Queene."

From very early times a Decalogue — if we may be
allowed to use the term — of Manners has existed.
In the ** ancient bokes " of the Anglo-Saxons we
find directions given to our ancestors what to do
and what not to do. Their Norman successors,
loo, though not distinguished for the politeness
which is said to characterise their descendants, had
their code of manners set forth ; and so down to
the present day, through every successive age, the
necessity for, and the importance of, an established
form has been invariably recognised. But as the
ideal of what constitutes true politeness is con-
tinually changing, or rather, let us say, the modes

lo Good SocietV.

of showing politeness are continually changing — for
the principle remains the same at all times and in
all places — so there constantly arises a necessity
for the revision of old rules and for setting forth
the accepted code of manners for the present
time.

The gentlefolk of a few centuries back would
prove rough guests at a modern dinner-table, how-
ever carefully they observed the rules laid down.
" Never set on fyshe, flesche, ne fowle, more than
two fyngers and a thombe." Oar forefathers are
also cautioned not to pick their teeth with " knife,
strawe, nor stick"; nor to clean them on the table-
cloth. To wipe the mouth on the table cloth was
allowable, but not the nose or eyes ! In the reign
of Stephen it was considered etiquette to cough very
loud when entering a house, "for there may be
something doing which you ought not to see." A
guest at table is recommended "to keep his nails
clean, for fear the fellow next him should be dis-
gusted." There are many unmentionable habits
spoken of as common which we should regard with
unmitigated horror, but which the people of that
day looked upon as ordinary and correct behaviour.
Happily for us, time and civilisation have swept
away all these rough-and-ready usages ; and it may
be safely said that a man will now find his superiors
more accessible, his equals more at their ease, and
his inferiors more mannerly, than in the most
golden age of the olden time.

Even since the last century, manners have altered
strangely. The great freedom then permitted, both
in words and action, is no longer allowed. We
need scarcely mention the well-known fact that ,
ordinary conversations were richly besprinkled with '"

I NT ROD UCTION. 1 1

oaths by the " good old English gentlemen/' and
gentlewomen too, if what is related of a certain
Duchess of Marlborough be true. The story goes
that she went to call upon Lord Mansfield on busi-
ness, and, not finding him within, declined to leave
her name. His lordship's secretary, in describing
the unknown, said : " 1 could not make out, sir,
who she was ; but she swore so dreadfully that she
must be a lady of quality ! " And we read in Dr.
Johnson's life — "This evening one of our mar-
ried ladies, a lively, pretty little woman, good-
humouredly sat down upon Dr. Johnson's knee, and,
being encouraged by the company, put her hands
round his neck and kissed him." As no note of
exclamation follows the record of this incident,
we are led to the conclusion that it was not re-
garded as extraordinary or unbecoming.

It was at as late a period as the last century, too,
that the following violent fun was thought admis-
sible : — A large strong table-cloth was spread on the
upper steps of the staircase, and upon this cloth
the ladies seated themselves in rows ; then the gen-
tlemen took hold of the lower end, attempting to
pull it downstairs. The ladies resisted with all
their might. The contest invariably ended by the
-cloth and the ladies being pulled down to the
bottom of the stairs, "when," says the relater,
"everything was found bruised but modesty."

Then, if we turn from our own people and look
at other nations, we find that they too have had
their lessons to learn, and have learnt them.

The Russian nobleman of to-day, with his
polished, gentlemanly bearing and his studied
politeness to superiors and inferiors alike, forms
a strong contrast to his forefathers, who are said

12 Good Society,

to have "dropped both pearls and vermin as
they walked along ! " and whom the great Catherine
found it necessary to prohibit striking their wives in
public ; while the wives were forbidden to wash out
their mouths in the drinking glasses.

In France also, the liome and centre of polite-
ness and good-breeding, judging from the ex-
periences of an English traveller, manners were not
at one time equally refined. **At Madame Du
Bocage's, a lady of high rank, the footman took
the sugar in his fingers and threw it into my coffee.
I was going to put it aside ; but hearing that it was
made on purpose for me, I e'en tasted Thomas's
fingers. The same lady would needs make tea
a Panglaise* The spout of the teapot did not pour
freely ; she bade the footman blow into it ! " We
may exclaim, with Hannah More, " Are these the
beings who are called polite ? "

Enough has been said to show the wide difference
which exists between ancient and modern manners
and customs. In the following chapters we shall
consider more minutely the present code of social
laws which should regulate our external conduct
and behaviour.

For the present we may affirm that the maxim
•* Manners makyth man " has the same force as
ever. Goodness of heart, however boundless ;
learning, however profound ; and accomplishments
the most brilliant and varied, are not in them-
selves sufficient to make us pleasant and agreeable
members of society — a knowledge and practice of
the laws of good-breeding must be added to make
a perfect whole. Your character may be ines-
timable ; but if you speak loudly, or with a vulgar
twang, if you are boisterous in your behaviour,

Introduction, 13

and eschew les convenances of society, your best
friends will — behind your back — lament that .you
are so little endowed with manners, although ** an
excellent creature.'' " Manners recommend, pre-
pare, and draw people together; in all the clubs
manners make the members; manners make the
fortune of the ambitious youth — for the most part,
his manners marry him, and he marries manners."
The principal and groundwork of these laws is,
that they tend to add materially to the happiness
and comfort of those around us, smooth and soften
the contact of the individual atoms which are in-
cessantly coming against each other in the restless
intercourse of the busy world, and add a charm to
the quiet monotony of everyday life. Amid the
multitude of thorns which encompass this daily life,
^ every flower that will grow should be cultivated
with care. Acts of attention and thoughtfulness
shown to those around net only make their days
pass more easily and happily, but at the same
time ennoble the doer, and provoke a sweet return
of kindly feeling and good-will. Lord Chesterfield,
who, says Hannah More, "adorned conversation
by his wit as much as he impaired it by his prin-
ciples," has defined "politeness to be the art of
^ pleasing." St. Paul, ** one of the few writers with
^ whom this accomplished peer was not acquainted,"
remarks this censorious lady, recommends, with as
much warmth as his lordship, the duty of pleasing
his neighbour; but here the two moralists part com-
pany. "The noble writer would have us please
others to benefit ourselves; the Christian writer
directs us to please others for their good. The
essence of the worldly code of ethics is selfish-
ness, that of the Christian is disinterestedness."

14 Good Society,

It is the opinion of a French writer* that " L
vraie philosophic respecte les formes autant qu^^
Torgueil les d^daigne : il Yaut une discipline p9u:
la conduite comme il faut un ordre pour les idecs*
(True philosophy respects forms as much as prid^
despises them : we require a discipline for our con^
duct, just as we require an order for our ideas).

It is said by foreigners, in speaking generally of
the English, that we as a nation lack, what is called
polish; but they assign to us the character of
solidity. Now, hard, solid bodies are those that
take the highest polish. The material, then, is
fine, hard, and close, delicate and good ; and
English men and women, if they so will it, may
shine like mirrors to the rest of the world. Only
let them be careful not to mistake varnish for
polish. It is only soft bodies, which admit of little
polish, that require the former, and it is applied to
hide all flaws and to conceal the meanness of the
material beneath its surface. But, however thickly
it may be laid on, the false covering will chip here
and there, and the gloss will only be superficial,
and will never, in reality, equal that of true polish
of the grain.

Gentlemen and ladies— how much those words
are abused! what various twisted and deformed
ideas are connected in different persons' minds with
those words ! What more common expression among
the vulgar than " He's quite the gentleman," " She
is a real lady," and yet what various meanings are at-
tached to them? Sometimes high birth is denoted ;
sometimes perfect manners; sometimes merely
wealth ; the fact of living an idle life, or profuse

* Portalis.

Intro D uction, i 5

liberality. This last is the idea of the poor, i^ho
almost invariably measure a man or woman by the
tightness or looseness of their purse-strings, and term
them gentleman or lady accordingly. Originally a
gentleman was defined to be one who, "without
any title of nobility, wears a coat-of-aims, or whose
ancestors have been freed men." By-and-by two
other classes crept into the circle. A iran could
be a g( ntleman by office and in reputation as well
as those who were bom such. According to Black-
stone — " Whosoever studieth the laws of the realm,
who studieth in the universities, who professeth the
liberal sciences, and who can live idly and without
n anual labour, and well bear the port, charge, and
countenance of a gentleman, he shall be called
master and taken for a gentleman." But in the
present day these three distinctions of birth, educa-
tion, or weahh alone do not entitle their possessors
to bear the "grand old name of gentleman."
Something else must be added to make the perfect
whole. ** To have pride of gentrie is right gret
folie, for oft time the gentrie of the bodie bemireth
the gentrie of the soule ; and we ben al of o fader
and of o moder," says Chaucer.

" Tlie rank is but the guinea stamp,
The man's the gowd for a' that,"

sings the Scottish bard in those often-quoted lines;
and there is much fine gold without the stamp, no
doubt. Yet we by no means wish to underrate the
value of gentle birth and blood. Race tells in man
as in any other animal, but it must not be con-
sidered as the only thing requisite. A man cannot
say, " I am well-born, and therefore I am a gentle-
man." Neither will education stand alone. The

1 6 Good Society.

head may be well stored with learning, the whole of
the sciences may be " professed/' and all the laws
of the realm studied, and still a man may not have
that within him which is essential to the claim of
being a gentleman.

Wealth —ay, even the wealth of the Indies — is
also futile in itself. Riches compass many things,
but not this. A man may possess broad acres, and
be surrounded with all the luxuries that money can
command, and yet may be clothed in vulgarity, and
steeped in vice from top to toe. Shall we desig-
nate such a one as " a gentleman " ? What are the
qualities, then, necessary to give a claim to this
title ? This is Chaucer's test —

" Whoso is vertuous,
And in liis path not outrageous,
When such one thou seest thee befome
Though he be not gentil borne,
Thou mayst well sein (this is in sothe)
That he is gentil because he dothe
As longeth to a gentil man."

The different classes of the order of gentlemen
are thus quaintly described by another old writer.
He divides them under the heads of "Gentle
gentle," " Gentle ungentle," and " Ungentle gentle" :
— " The gentle gentle are those of noble birth, who
join to their gentle house gentle manners and noble
conditions, which is the cause of the other word
called gentle. Gentle ungentle is that man which
is descended of noble parentage, by the which he
is commonly called gentle, and hath in him such
corrupt ungentle manners as to the judgment of
all men he justly deserveth the name of ungentle.
Ungentle gentle is he which is born of a low
degree, which man, taking his beginning of a poor

Introd uction, 1 7

kindred, by his virtue, wit, policy, industry, know-
ledge of laws, and such like honest means, be-
cometh a well-behaved and high-esteemed man."
Thackeray defines a gentleman to be one ** who is
honest, gentle, generous, brave, and wise; who
possesses all these qualities and exercises them in
the most graceful outward manner."

Qualities such as these are not the mere accident
of birth, nor the invariable accompaniments of
wealth. None of them necessarily endow a man
with delicacy of feeling, kindness of heart, court-
eousness of manner to his fellow-man — be he
peer or peasant — chivalrousness to all women,
in short, that fineness of nature so admirably
delineated by Ruskin. " A gentleman's first char-
acteristic," he says, " is that fineness of structure
in the body which renders it capable of the most
delicate sensation, and of that structure of the
mind which renders it capable of the most delicate
sympathies, or, as one may simply say, fineness
of nature.

"This is, of course, compatible with heroic bodily
strength and mental firmness ; in fact, heroic bodily
strength is not conceivable without such delicacy.
Elephantine strength may drive its way through a
forest and feel no touch of its boughs, but the white
skin of Homer's Atrides would have felt a bent
rose-leaf, yet subdue its feelings in the glow of battle,
and behave itself like iron. I do not mean,"
continues the writer, " to call the elephant a vulgar
animal ; but if you think about him carefully, you
will find that his non-vulgarity consists in such gen-
tleness as is possible to elephantine nature ; not
in his insensitive hide, nor in his clumsy foot, but
in the way he will lift his foot if a child lies in his

B

1 8 Good Society,

way, and in his sensitive trunk, and his still more
sensitive mind and capability of pique in points of
honour. Hence it will follow that one of the pro-
bable signs of high breeding in men generally will
be their kindness and mercifulness — these always
indicate more or less firmness of make in the
mind."

But we must e'en turn our attention to the '* lady "
— who has been for so long a time kept waiting,
while the opposite sex were criticised and scrutinised
— and see how the true gentlewoman may be distin-
guished from the counterfeit. If it be true, as the
French say, that —

' ' Les hommes font les lois,
Les femmes font les pioeurs," *

it is, indeed, highly necessary to decide what quali-
ties are necessary to make " a perfect woman."

Women in their course of action describe a
smaller circle than men, but *^ the perfection of a
circle consists not in its dimensions, but in its cor-
rectness," says the logical Hannah More.

A true lady will be quite natural and easy in her
manners, and this will have the effect of putting
those at their ease who are in her company, what-
ever their station in life may be. She will shrink from
all affectation and avoid all pretension, and never
try, by any means, to appear other than she really
is. She will be courteous to all around her, modest
but not awkwardly bashful; brave, without being
in the slightest degree bold .or masculine ; defer-
ential and reverential to the aged, cheerful and
lenient to the young ; in fact, she will not only try

* De S^gur.

In TROD UCTION, 1 9

" to make men happy and to keep them so," but
every living creature around her.

A quiet dignity will pervade all her actions. She
is one who —

" Hath a natural wise sincerity,
A simple truthfulness, and these have lent her
A dignity as moveless as the centre."

Her good manners will be in daily use, and not
donned and doffed with company dress, and more
especially a lady will never attempt to patronise in
the slightest degree.

A high-bred gentlewoman will never be proud
and haughty in her demeanour to others, but there
are those " who with haughty steps would walk the
globe o'er the necks of humbler ones."

We once saw a so-called lady at a London fete
asked by another lady, who was on the point of
fainting from the heat, to pass a glass of water.
The fashionably dressed and splendidly jewelled
woman regarded the suppliant with a haughty and
indignant stare, for presuming to ask her to perform
a menial act, and immediately moved away.

It is a very mibtaken notion, and yet one held by
many, although perhaps not confessed, that a lady
demeans herself by manual labour, and that if she
wishes to keep her title to the name, she must lead
an aimless, useless, idle life. Now our ways and
habits have been so gradually altered by civilisa-
tion that ladies do lead very different lives from
their ancestresses. Here is the account of the
manner in which Elizabeth Woodville, born in a
very high station, and afterwards wife of King
Edward IV., was accustomed to spend an ordinary
day : — " Rose at four o'clock, and helped Catherine
to milk the cows. Six o'clock, breakfasted ; the
B 2

20 Good Society.

buttock of beef too much boiled, and the beer a
little of the stalest Seven, went to walk with the
lady my mother in the courtyard. Ten, went to
dinner. Eleven, rose from table, the company all
desirous of walking in the fields. Four, went to
prayers. Six, fed the hogs and poultry. Seven,
supper on the table. Nine o'clock, the com-
pany fast asleep — these late hours are very dis-
agreeable."

English ladies of the nineteenth century are not
expected to milk cows and feed pigs, but if circum-
stances obliged them to do these or any other
similar acts of labour, what we would impress on
our readers' minds is that they would not neces-
sarily cease to be " ladies " in the proper sense of
the word. " She openeth her mouth with wisdom,
and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She
looketh well to the ways of her household, and
eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children
arise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and
he praiseth her."

We may here mention, en passant^ the " titles of
honour " borne by certain classes of gentlefolk, and
the different degrees of rank which exist. Titles
of honour are designations which certain persons
are entitled to claim as their right, in consequence
of certain dignities being inherent to them. They
vary according to the rank of their possessor. The
titles of Emperor, King, and Prince denominate
the highest rank ; then come the orders of the
nobility, which are five in number, namely — Duke,
Marquis, Earl, Viscount, and Baron. All these
dignities are hereditary, and the wives and children
of peers have likewise their appropriate titles of
honour. Another dignity which brings with it the

Introduction, 21

right to a title of honour is a Baronetcy — and this,
too, IS hereditary. Below the Baronet comes the
Knight, but Knighthood is not hereditary; it expires
with the life of the possessor, and does not descend
to the heir as do all the other titles. In this last
category may be placed ecclesiastical dignities —
academical, legal, and municipal distinctions — which
have their several titles of honour pertaining to their
offices, but like that of knighthood do not descend.
Mention must also be made of the title of Esquire,
although the general use of it by those who are not
strictly speaking entitled to it has virtually destroyed
it as a distinctive dignity. Those to whom it legally
Jbelongs are — the eldest sons of Knights, and the
eldest sons of younger sons of the nobility, by virtue
of birth. Justices of the Peace, Officers of the
Queen's Court and Household, and of Her Majesty's
Navy and Army, by virtue of office. Doctors of
Law, Barristers, and Physicians are reputed Es-
quires ; but at the present time this line of de-
marcation is growing every day more faint, and the
title of Esq. is used as a mere ** title of courtesy "
given to every gentleman of presumed respecta-
bihty, and though it may be occasionally abused,
there can be no doubt that it is on the whole ex-
ceedingly convenient The various and proper
forms for addressing persons of different degrees of
rank will be given in a following chapter.

We are now brought to the subject of Heraldry.
Heraldry has been stigmatised as "a science of
fools with long memories"; it should rather be
designated as a study which, properly directed,
would make fools wise. Heraldry is the art of
arranging and explaining in proper terms all that
appertains to the bearing of coats- of-arms or

2 2 Good Society.

badges, and other hereditary or assumed marks of
honour.

The twelfth century is the earliest period to which
can be traced the bearing of heraldic devices pro-
perly so called, and they became hereditary about
the commencement of the following century.

Heraldry owes its origin to the Crusades. Dur-
ing these memorable wars, the principal leaders of
the different armies found it necessary to be dis-
tinguished by some outward sign, so that amidst
the confusion and tumult of battle a friend could
be detected from a foe, in spite of the close-fitting
disguise of armour worn by all alike. And so a
device was placed upon the shield which at that
time was always carried to battle. The various
distinctive coats-of-arms — birthrights of our nobility,
of which there are five orders — are displayed on
shields, escutcheons, or banners. There is another
sign of gentle birth, the crest. This is next to the
shield in point of antiquity. It was originally the
ornament worn upon the helmet in the far-oif days
of which we have been speaking. I^<;tly, there
are mottoes. These trace their origin to those
same days of chivalry, and were the war-cries of
the different knights.

When a man marries he impales his wife's pater-
nal arms by placing them upright on the left side
of his own in the same escutcheon. If his wife be
an heiress the husband may bear her arms on an
escutcheon over his own. The children retain only
the father's coat-of-arms, unless they inherit pro-
perty from their mother likewise.

A story is related of a lady who wished to die
before her husband, because if he died first she
could not put his coat-of-arms on his tomb, he

Introduction, 2^

being not a man of family ; " but," said she, " if I
die first he can claim a right of placing my arms on
my tomb, because I am a woman of quality by birth."

The arms of a widow are composed of her hus-
band's and her father's impaled within a lozenge.
Those of a maiden lady are her father's only, borne
in a lozenge also. Ladies are not allowed the use
of crests.

If the husband be a Knight of the Garter or of
any other order, the arms of the wife must not be
impaled, but placed in a separate shield.

Heraldic devices have been called the hall-marks
of the nobility, but in the present day these ancient
prerogatives have been usurped and appropriated
by ignorant yet aspiring people, and sold over and
over again by unscrupulous traders who minister to
the bad taste of would-be gentlefolk.

It is a cause for great regret that such a noble
science as that of heraldry should be allowed to be
open to the mercy of charlatans, who arrange and
blazon coats-of-arms at complete variance with
personal history and in violation of all precedent.

It is considered a misdemeanour, and punished as
such, to infringe on a merchant's mark, and yet the
marks of our nobility are purloined continually by
those who only bear the name of the family and
cannot trace the faintest line of their descent

" Crests is my leading article, but I do deal in
'scutcheons," once said a " professor " of heraldry
who kept a " studio." " They come for cheap crests
as advertised ; but when I once get them in my
rt!it.6\veal office, under the influence of a dim re-
ligious light through stained glass— to sit in my
antique chairs and behold my libary^ presided over
by an old suit of armour — it is all * up ' with them.

^4 Good SocietV.

and they take anything." Crests are the portions
most affected, but shields and mottoes are daily
appropriated.

There are shops where a busy trade goes on in
sales of this description. You state your name,
and have no need for any anxiety on the subject.
A crest is sure to be discovered. If your name
happens to be a noble one, you have all the more
for your money. "Russell, did you say, sir? a
very noble crest — gozX passant. Sketch, ten shil-
lings and sixpence ; with casque and mantling in
proper colours, one guinea and a half ; illuminated
in vellum, two guineas," and so on ; proving the
assertion that in this brazen age anything can be
got with money.

CHAPTER II.

BIRTH.

"Old Customs" — Private Baptism — Public Baptism — God-
parents — Christening Presents-.-The Christening — Con-
firmation — Age Required — Preparation — Dress Necessary
— The Ceremony.

• ' It might have been seven o'clock in the evening when Mr.
Kenwigs sent out for a pair of the cheapest white kid gloves —
those at one shilling and twopence per pair— and, selecting the
strongest, walked down-stairs with an air of pomp and much
excitement, and proceeded to muffle the knob of the street-door
knocker therein." — ** Aickolas NickUby,^'

The ceremony performed by Mr. Kenwigs would
greatly excite the cunosity of passers-by nowadays,
and any proud father who ventured to imitate him
would be regarded as an exceedingly eccentric
gentleman, if nothing more ; but at one time it was
considered quite the " correct thing " to clothe the
knocker in white kid on the birth of a child, and
the little Kenwigs was by no means the only infant
whose advent was announced in this manner. Of
course the original purpose was to deaden the
noise made by impatient postmen and other callers.
Thus it answered two purposes. At Haarlem
and some other Dutch towns the arrival of a little
Hollander is proclaimed by means of a small

26 Good Society,

placard which is adorned with red silk and lace ;
this is affixed to the door of the house, and when
the friends and neighbours, being thus apprised,
call to pay their respects to the mother and inspect
the new-comer, they are regaled with mulled wine
and cinnamon cakes.

Formerly in this country the friends who, directiy
the news reached them, called to offer their con-
gratulations were entertained on these occasions
with caudle, which is a kind of spiced gruel flavoured
with rum. The cups out of which this refreshment
was partaken were made for and used only on these
special occasions. They were of china and had
two handles, one on either side, so that the gossips
could easily pass them on from one to the other
" when so dispoged."

Caudle cups were often handed down as heir-
looms, and as such were highly prized by our
ancestresses, who made much more stir and "to-do "
on these occasions than is now the custom. Then
there was the " gentlemen's party " — this took place
at a later date. At the end of a fortnight, if mother
and child were doing well, it was the custom for
the husband to entertain his particular friends.
Both bachelors and Benedicts were invited to eat
** sugared toast," which, as the cookery books say,
was thus prepared : —

"Rounds of bread toasted, and each stratum
spread thick with moist sugar ; these were piled up
in a portly punch bowl. Strong beer was in the
meantime heated, and poured boiling hot over the
mound of bread.''

This " Gothic mess " was taken immediately to
the expectant guests and quickly demolished. At
the conclusion of the repast each visitor put a

Birth, 27

piece of money into the empty bowl, and the con-
tents were presented to the — for the time being —
ruler of the household, the " nurse." Often, too,
good strong ale was brewed, or a pipe of wine laid
by, to be drunk on the majority of the child.

Times are changed, old customs and ceremonies
have in great measure gradually died out, and no
new ones seem to have arisen in place of them.
An event of this kind calls forth very few cere-
monies nowadays ; yet these must be observed in
due order and according to the fashion of the time.

Some doctors expect the fee on these occasions
immediately after the birth ; others make a stated
charge for attendance during the illness and receive
their fee when they cease to attend at the house.

Friends and acquaintances either call and leave
or send their cards by their servants, with kind
inquiries, but the mother and child are not disturbed
in their seclusion until the former acknowledges the
kindness and courtesy of her friends, and announces
her reappearance in society by sending her card in
return. It is usual to fix for the christening to take
place, if possible, as soon as the mother is well
enough to go out, when her infant is about a month
old.

In days gone by, this rite was performed when
the child was but three days old. King Edward VI.
and his sisters were baptised at that early age, and
the ceremony — which lasted between two and three
hours — took place at night by torch-light. The
child was carried under a canopy, preceded by
' gentlemen bearing in state the sponsors' gifts, and
attended by flourish of trumpets.

Altogether the royal christenings of those days
must have been most fatiguing and venturesome

28 Good Society.

proceedings — at any rate, to the mother; for though
she did not accompany her child to the chapel,
she was removed on to a state pallet, where she
received congratulations, and whence the pro-
cession started. That it was the general custom
for the baptism to take place very soon after the
birth may be gathered from Mr. Pepys, who
writes in his voluminous Diary — " We went to Mrs.
Brown's, where Sir W. Pen and I were godfathers,
and Mrs. Jordan and Slopman were godmothers.
And there, before and after the christening, we
were with the woman above in her chamber. I
did give the midwife ten shillings, and the nurse
five shillings, and the maid two shillings. But,
inasmuch as I expected to give the name to the
child, but did not, I forbore then to give my plate
which I had in my pocket, namely, six spoons and
a porringer of silver."

If an infant is feeble when born, and not ex-
pected to live, the rite of baptism is at once per-
formed privately in the room in which the child is.
In cases of extreme necessity, where the assistance
of a clergyman cannot be procured, any person
may baptise the child. I^y baptism is an irregu-
larity, not a nullity. Should a child die before
being baptised, it may be interred in consecrated
ground, but the burial service of the Church cannot
legally be read over its grave.

If the child lives, it is subsequently " received "
into the Church, and then receives its sponsors.
Baptism should be performed in the parish in which
the child is born. The selection of godparents is
often a matter of considerable delicacy and diffi-
culty ; for many people are reluctant to accept the
office, while others again, who think they have a

Birth. 29

strong claim to the honour, are offended if they are
overlooked.

Formerly there were two godfathers and two god-
mothers. Now, if the infant be a boy, he has two
godfathers and one godmother ; and if a girl, then
the order is reversed. The godparents are chosen
from the relatives and friends of the parents. For
the first-born the sponsors should be near relatives,
preference being given to the father's family. It is
not advisable to choose elderly people for this
office; for, although its duties are supposed to
cease with confirmation, yet the association often
lasts a lifetime, and kindly help and counsel may
be given in later days by the godparent to the god-
child, should the battle of life prove hard, should
parents die, or friends depart. At a baptism which
took place in 1744, the sponsors must have been
very aged relatives, judging from their kinship to
the infant. Its godmothers were three in number
— its great-great-grandmother, great-grandmother,
and great-great-great-aunt. Its great-great-great-
great-uncle and two of its great-great-uncles were
the godfathers.

There is not much variety in the choice of the
christening presents. The old-fashioned gift of
" knife, fork, and spoon " has given place to what is
more useful — a silver basin and spoon, which in
babyhood holds bread and milk, and afterwards
serves as a sugar bowl. But the silver mug and
handsomely-bound Bible still hold their ground.
A set of coral beads was formerly a common gift,
more especially to a " baby-girl." Coral was
deemed to possess certain valuable properties most
beneficial to children ; not only was it good to rub
their gums with, but it also had the power of

30 Good Society,

preserving them from the "falling sickness'*; for we
are assured that the best coral "worn about the
neck will turn pale and wan if the child who wears
it be sick, and comes to its former colour again as
its wearer recovers health."

We lately heard of a godfather, evidently of a
practical turn of mind, who, considering the ordi-
nary kind of presents more ornamental than useful,
bought for his little godson some shares in a mine
to the amount that he would have spent on him in
a silversmith's shop. It is not usual to consult the
sponsors as to the choice of the name ; but when
the parents are desirous to pay a special compli-
ment to one or other of the godparents, they give
their child the same name as that borne by the
sponsor.

The christening ceremony, as appointed by the
Church of England (of which we are now speaking),
sometimes takes place during divine service, but
generally speaking is performed by itself and in the
morning.

The day being fixed, all interested assemble at
the church appointed. The officiating clergyman,
followed by the sponsors and the nurse and child,
proceeds to the font. As at a wedding, it is now
customary for only those who have some office
assigned them to form the principal group. The
father and mother, and any other friends who may
be present, take their seats in pews near to the
font.

The child is held by the godmother during the
first part of the service, and she places it on the left
arm of the clergyman when he is ready to receive
it. When he says the words, " Name this child,"
the chief godfather should pronounce it audibly

Birth, 31

and distinctly. The nurse, who should stand on
the clergyman's right hand — the godmother on his
left — takes the child from him, and the service pro-
ceeds to its conclusion.

The father accompanies the clergjman to the
vestry after the service, in order to give particulars
necessary for registration, and also to distribute the
proper fees.

Legally, none can be claimed for a baptism, but
custom has established the practice. The amount
bestowed depends very much upon the ideas of the
donor. Sometimes the clergyman receives a bank-
note, sometimes one or two guineas, according to
the means and position of the parents. In London
these ceremonials are most expensive — so many
persons appear on the scene, all of whom expect
gratuities. The beadle and the sexton, the woman
who sweeps inside the church and the man who
sweeps outside, the pew-opener and the clerk, are
all ready with itching palms.

The rite of churching generally takes place
immediately before that of the christening. The
clergyman is requested to be at the church a short
time before the hour appointed for the christening;
and the churching service, which is but a short one,
takes place before the sponsors arrive.

It will be seen that here, as well as in other
chapters, the ceremonial of the Church of England
has been taken for an example and alone described.
It need hardly be remarked that the baptismal
service is performed by other religious denomina-
tions according to other rites ; but as it would
be impossible in a book of this description to
attempt to describe the many different forms, one
only has been cited, as in every case, though the

$2 Good Society,

religious ceremonials differ, the social usages are
similar.

The entertainments given on the christening day
are various. Sometimes, when it takes place in a
morning, the guests return to luncheon ; sometimes
thdy separate at the church door, and meet again
in the evening at a dinner party given in honour of
the young stranger. Whatever the festivity, the
officiating clergyman is always invited, and the baby
is exhibited either before or after the repast in all
the splendour of its christening robe. The presents
are often given at this time ; sometimes they are
sent afterwards. During the dinner the infant's
health is proposed; and at dessert a christening
cake, which closely resembles a wedding cake,
appears, bearing a flag on which is emblazoned
the name of the hero of the day. A small portion
is often put safely away, to be eaten in after years
by the one whose nativity is thus celebrated. A
piece of cake and bottle of wine are sent out to the
servants, who fully expect to drink the little one's
health.

The nurse, too, generally receives a present on
these occasions — a piece of money is slipped into
her hand ; and then again, when she takes the child
for the first time to the houses of the friends of its
parents to exhibit it, it has been usual to give her
a present of money. In some parts the child is
offered a gift of salt and an egg for good luck;
special care being taken that the young pilgrim
makes its first visit to the house of a near relative
or particular friend, so that the ceremony will not
be omitted or forgotten ; for superstition says that
if the ceremony be neglected, the infant will be
exposed during life to the miseries of want

Birth, 33

Confirmation is, as it were, the sequel to baptism.
The age at which bishops accept candidates for
this rite is from fourteen to fifteen years.

Notices of confirmation to be held are always
given out in the diflferent churches some weeks
prior to the event, and persons desirous of being
admitted to the rite are requested to make known
their wish, and to give in iheir names to their
respective clergymen.

Classes are formed, and instruction and prepara-
tion given, during the weeks preceding the day
which the bishop has appointed. At the hour
named, the candidates, having previously received
from their clergyman a card on which is written his
or her name, and signed by their instructor, as a
certificate that they have been prepared for the
solemn service, proceed to the church in which the
ceremony is to take place.

The young girls should be dressed in white.
A high white dress, without shawl or jacket,
and a white veil or cap, and white gloves, is the
proper costume. If a veil is worn, it must be a
simple square of white tulle falling equally over the
front and back. Great simplicity should be ob-
served in the dress for confirmation. The youths
wear black suits, black ties and gloves. They are
placed on one side of the church, and the maidens
on the other.

When the time arrives for the laying-on of hands,
the girls go first, either by two and two, or more, as
may be the custom of the bishop. They give their
card or certificate into the hands of the bishop's
chaplain, who stands near to receive them. The
candidates kneel down before the bishop, who lays
his hand severally on their heads. When the short
C

34 Good Society.

prayer repeated by him while doing so is finished,
they rise from their knees and return to their seats.
After all have been confirmed the bishop usually
deUvers a short address, which concludes the
service.

CHAPTER III.

ETIQUETTE AND SOCIAL OBSERVANCES.

Origin of the word " Etiquette" — The Distinguishing Mark
of Good Manners — Against Extreme Ceremony, Ex-
cessive Apologising, and Affectation — The Laws of
Introduction — Attentions to be paid by Gentlemen to a
Lady — The Different Modes of Bowing and Shaking the
Hand — The Walk — Carriage — Conversation — Voice —
Laughter — Inaccuracies of Speech — Laws of Precedency.

" I am the very pink of courtesy."

Shakespeare.

" Those graceful acts,
Those thousand decencies, that daily flow
From all her words and actions."

AliltoH.

Centuries ago the word ** etiquette " conveyed to
those who used it a far diflferent signification than
to us of the present day. The word— an Anglo-
Norman one — originally specified the ticket tied to
the necks of bags or affixed to bundles to denote
their contents. A bag or bundle thus ticketed
passed unchallenged.

Our ancestors, as we have seen, had their codes
of manners. The chief rules of these forms of
behaviour were written or printed upon cards or
tickets, and thus the word "etiquette" gradually

36 Good Society.

came to mean what we understand by it. Hence
the modern slang phrase, "the ticket," is not so
meaningless as it would seem to be.

Before beginning with the specialities of etiquette,
let me remark that the first and great characteristic
of what is called good-breeding is perfect ease of
manner and the absence of 2l\\ fUssiness. Whatever
the company we may be thrown into, whatever the
circumstances, this quiet ease should never be
allowed to forsake us, neither diverging into un-
bending stiffness on the one hand, nor into too
much familiarity on the other. Perfect politeness
requires presence of mind, a quick sense of pro-
priety, and an ability to form an instantaneous
judgment of what is fittest to be said and done on
every occasion as it offers. " II me semble que
Tesprit de politesse est une certaine attention k
faire que, par nos paroles et nos mani^res, les
autres soient contents de nous et d'eux-memes "
(I consider the spirit of politeness to be one
which will govern our behaviour, so that by our
words and actions others may be pleased with us
and with themselves) is the opinion of Montes-
quieu. In our endeavours to be polite, we must
be careful not to run into any extremes, but bear
in mind that good manners show themselves where
to the vulgar eye they are the least observable.
Extreme ceremony is only the caricature of good-
breeding; it produces contempt and embarrassment,
not respect and ease.

As an instance of the absurdity of extreme punc-
tilio, I may relate one which occurred in Spain.
On the death of a certain queen of that nation, the
officers of the crown and grandees of the kingdom
assembled at the usual time to open her Majesty's

EtiquettK and Social ObserP-ancMs, 37

will ; but finding that the first lady of the queen's
chamber, who ought by virtue of her office to have
been present, was absent, the august body sent a
messenger requesting her attendance. The first
lady replied that it was her duty not to leave her
deceased royal mistress, and that therefore the
nobles must wait upon her. Thereupon ensued a
negotiation which lasted no less than eight hours.
As both sides remained inflexible, it was proposed
that without rising from their seats or moving them-
selves, they should be carried to a room at an equal
distance between their own apartment and that of
the Lady High Chamberlain, who . should be also
carried to the same place, seated upon a high
cushion in the same manner as she had sat in the
queen's chamber, to the end that it might be said
that neither side had made a step to meet each
other. This ludicrous compromise was actually
carried out.

If a person of higher rank desires you to step
first into a carriage, it is better to bow and obey
than to decline. Addison remarks, " A polite
country squire shall make you as many bows in
half an hour as would serve a courtier for a week'';
"and there is," says the same writer, "infinitely
more to-do about place and precedency in a
meeting of justices' wives than in an assembly of
duchesses."

Thus, we should not constantly repeat the name
of anyone with whom we may be talking, nor
should we make an excessive use of titles when
conversing with people of rank. Tittlebat Tit-
mouse exposed his ignorance of the habits of good
society, not only by his flurried manner and great
anxiety to. show what the French call des petits soins^

X

38 Good SociMtV,

but also in his mode of talking with his noble
host — " Oh, yes, my lord ; quite so, your lordship ;
wouldn't have been behind time, your lordship, for
a minute, my lord," &c. &c.

At the same time be it remembered that the
other extreme must be guarded against — familiarity,
too, "breeds contempt." it is only against the
constant repetition of title or name that we utter
a protest. Gentlemen and gentlewomen of the last
century invariably addressed one another as Madam
and Sir ; the terms are now obsolete in ordinary
conversation. An occasional interpolation of the
name of the person with whom we are conversing
is what is required, and more especially if we
should happen to dissent in any degree, to con-
tradict or to affirm.

For instance, ** Do you think so ? '' "I believe
I am right,'' would sound brusque if not rude ; but
attach the name, and see what a different effect,
and how softened the sentences appear: "Do
you think so. Lady Penrose ? " "I believe I am
right, Mr. Brown."

In speaking to a king or queen we address them
as Your Majesty — other members of the Royal
Family, as " Sir," or " Madam," and Your Royal
Highness. A Duke or Duchess is addressed in
ordinary conversation as " Duke " or " Duchess " ;
while a marquis or marchioness, or any of the
nobility of lower rank, would be spoken to, with-
out distinction of their special titles, as Lord
So-and-So or Lady So-and-So.

Descending in the scale of titles, I would, in
passing, remark that it is not etiquette to address
those who possess such titles as Colonel, Captain,
Doctor, &c., by such designations only, but to

Etiquette and Social Observances, 39

append their respective surnames, and also that
nothing is more objectionable than to hear ladies
speak of gentlemen by their surnames only, or
juveniles address their parents as " Pa " and " Ma,*'
after the fashion of the Misses Pecksniff. For
"grown-up" children, the terms "Father" and
"Mother" are more becoming than "Papa" or
"Mamma." The pronoun "my" should be used
in speaking of relatives generally, as " My father
says so," " My uncle told me."

Apologising, again, is constantly carried to an
ill-bred extreme. Numerous, profound, and re-
iterated apologies have the effect of making every
one within hearing of them remarkably uncomfort-
able, and particularly the one who receives them.
" Apologising," says a modern author,* " is a very
desperate habit, and one that is rarely cured."
As it is ill mannered to express too much regret,
so it is the essence of rudeness not to make any
apology. Should you have the misfortune to injure
either the person or the feelings of your neighbour,
the formal " I beg your pardon " should be accom-
panied by an effort to prove the sincerity of the
words, though it need not take the practical form
given it by the poor Tittlebat Titmouse before
alluded to, who, when he broke a glass dish,
turned first to his host and then to his hostess
with profuse apologies, and at the same time
assured them that he would replace it with the
best in London the very first thing in the
morning.

Let me now say a few words upon affectation,
by which I mean the adoption of peculiarities of

* O. W. Holmes.

46 Good Society

speech, action, and demeanour which are nol
natural. " La moindre affectation est un vice,"
says Voltaire. Oddities and singularities may
attend genius, but when they do so they are its
misfortunes and its blemishes. For instance, while
we admire the wisdom of Dr. Johnson, we cannot
hold up his manners as an example to be followed.
Here is a description — " In the intervals of arti-
culation he made various sounds with his mouth,
sometimes as if ruminating, or what is called chew-
ing the cud, sometimes giving a half-whistle, or
making his tongile play backwards from the roof
of his mouth, as if clucking like a hen ] and when
exhausted by much talking he would blow out his
breath like a whale." Now, although this gross
behaviour could never become the fashion, yet
other practices are adopted which have quite as
little grace and elegance about them, and, not
being natural to the individual who assumes them,
destroy that ease of manner which it is so essential
to attain. It is curious to notice that a description
written in the seventeenth century of the various
forms of affectation then in vogue is singularly
applicable to the present day. ** At one time it
was fashionable to be short-sighted ; a man would
not own an acquaintance until he had first ex-
amined him through a (an eye) glass. The age
no sooner recovered its sight than the blind were
succeeded by the lame." Is not this a picture of
some of the present follies of fashion ? Have we
not men with eye-glasses through which they can-
not see, and women with affected limp, almost
amounting to an awkward hobble, disfigurations
most lamentable to those who are ridiculous enough
to follow this absurdity of fashion ?

Etiquette aI^d Social OBSEkvAtJcka, 41

And now let me speak of the various fixed forms
of obseiTance which should be our guide on those
occasions where set forms are found to be neces-
sary in order to avoid embarrassment and con-
fusion. It will be well first to give the general
rules, and mention the exceptions when the circum-
stances which would occasion a divergence are
treated of hereafter. To begin with introduction :
when a lady and gentleman are to be introduced
to each other, the lady's permission should first be
asked and obtained, and the office can only be
performed by a common friend. Always introduce
the gentleman to the lady, and never the lady to the
gentleman. When the sexes are the same, present
the inferior to the superior.

The etiquette observed is to accompany the
gentleman to the lady, who, if seated, does not rise,
and say, "May ]," or "Allow me to introduce
Mr. Sinclair — Miss Grant, Mr. Sinclair.'* Where-
upon both bow, but do not shake hands, the intro-
ducer then retires, and the introduced at once enter
into conversation. It is always the part of the lady
to make the first intimation pf recognition at their
next meeting. A gentleman must not either bow
or shake hands with a lady until she has made the
first movement; neither must he, under any cir-
cumstances, fail to return her courtesies. If he
meet her in the street, and sees she wishes to speak,
he will immediately turn and walk in the direction
in which she is going ; if on horseback, he will dis-
mount and lead his horse, and walk by her side,
for on no occasion is it permissible for a lady to
stand for any time while talking in a street In the
days of our Dutch king, it was customary for a
gentleman when walking beside a lady to carry his

42 Good Society

hat in his hand or under his arm. The practice of
walking arm-in-arm appears to be quite of com-
paratively modern date, but is now entirely aban-
doned, except on such occasions as going in to
dinner, supper, etc. The custom of a husband and
wife appearing arm-in-arm when their names are
announced at a reception is altogether out of date.
The lady enters first, and her lord follows after.
In the same way couples do not walk arm-in-arm
in the streets, unless to traverse some crowd.
When two or more persons walked together, it was
formerly the custom to hold each other by the
hands. In the twelfth and thirteenth centuries it
seems to have been the height of gentility to hold
the lady by the finger only. If by any mischance
a lady is in a crowd, the gentleman should precede
her, in order to clear a path for her, and try to
shield her as much as he possibly can from rude
encounters ; for on such-like gatherings honest John
Bull thinks he does not show the true spirit of
liberty unless he jostles, squeezes, and pushes his
neighbours about as much as possible. A gen-
tleman will follow a l^dy up and down stairs ; he
will get out of a carriage first, and offer his hand
in order to assist her to alight; he will not use
slang expressions when conversing with her ; he
will never smoke in the presence of a lady without
first obtaining her permission, and if, when smoking
out of doors, he meets any lady, be she friend or
foe, he will take his cigar out of his mouth while
passing her. "To be sure," says Dr. Johnson,
" it is a shocking thing blowing smoke out of one's
mouth into other people's mouths, eyes, and noses."
The custom of withdrawing the glove before
shaking hands with a lady is now a thing of the

Etiquette and Social Observances, 43

past It originated in the knight taking off his iron
gauntlet, which would have hurt the hand of his
" faire ladye." No longer do we see gentlemen
carrying a creased glove, or wearing one untidily
large, in order to avoid the awkwardness of keeping
the lady waiting while he drags it off. The well-
fitting, tidy, comfortable one has taken its place,
and may it long retain it !

As grace should attend all the movements,
whether of man or woman, the manner of bowing,
shaking the hand, walking, and speaking should be
at once refined and elegant.

The bow should be a graceful bend, or inclina-
tion of the head ; not a hasty movement, nor a stiff
jerk. A gentleman should raise his hat, indeed,
take it off his head, but not with a flourish, nor
seize it with a sudden dash, as is now so often seen.
There is great art in making a bow, dignified and
stately, but at the same time neither stiff nor awk-
ward ; and how much more difficult is it than people
suppose to shake hands well !

In what a variety of ways are our hands shaken
in the course of the year, and how few of those
ways are pleasant ones ! Sometimes our hands are
seized and violently agitated to and fro ; at others,
a limp, nerveless something is dropped into our out-
stretched palm, which shows no sign of life while
in our possessioa There are people who, from
no feeling of affection, but simply from a vicious
habit intended to express heartiness and cordiality,
squeeze your fingers until the rings upon them
enter into your flesh. Others — and I think this the
most trying ordeal — retain your hand in theirs for a
length of time, and ever and anon give it a little
shake by way of adding empressement to their

44 Good Society,

inquiries about your welfare. This latter custom
is a very old-fashioned one, but now and again
one is rendered uncomfortable by encountering it.
No ; each of these forms of hand-shaking is most
irritating and objectionable. Take the hand
offered you firmly; be careful to grasp the hand^
not the fingers merely, which has a ridiculous
effect ; give it a gentle pressure, and thefT relin-
quish it ; do not lift it up to shake, neither let it
drop suddenly — heartiness and cordiality should
be expressed, without the slightest approach to
boisterousness.

I have often heard people say, " I can tell
whether a man is a gentleman from his walk." I
know that -servants can be distinguished by the
short abrupt steps they take ; so, doubtless, a true
lady can be discovered by her manner of walking.
The following forms one of a code of manners
drawn up by a Frenchman for the benefit of his
countrywomen in the thirteenth century : — " Do not
trot or run, and as you walk look straight before
you with eyelid slow and fixed, looking forward
to the ground at five toises (thirty feet) before you,
not looking at or turning your eyes to man or
woman who may be to your right or left, nor look-
ing upwards, nor changing your look from one place
to another, nor laughing, nor stopping to speak to
anybody." It does not appear that this strict rule
was for the special use of nuns or any religious
body, but intended for the well-bred lady of the
time.

But to return to " y' maiden of our own day " :
let her step be firm and her gait steady, let her
not walk in too great a hurry, nor yet drag slowly
along. Let her arms move with the natural motion

Etiquette and Social Observances, 45

of the body ; they must neither swing to and fro
nor dangle by the side.

" Grace was in all her steps.
In every gesture dignity."

A man's walk should differ from a woman's in that
he should take a longer step, but steadiness of
carriage and firmness of tread are as necessary in
the one as in the other. Horace Walpole is de-
scribed as always entering a room with knees bent
and feet on tiptoe, as if afraid of a wet floor ; but we
are told that this affected style was quite a la mode
in his day.

In the house a woman is allowed much less
freedom of posture than a man ; he may change
his position in an infinity of ways, lounge and loll,
cross his legs, do anything but sit on the edge of
his chair or clasp his hands round his knee ; but a
woman must sit still. Addison thought that the
one great end of a lady's learning to dance was
that she might know how to sit still gracefully.
The hands, if not occupied, are so apt to fidget
either with each other, with some part of the dress,
or face. Very often it is a nervous habit ; but from
whatever cause it may arise, it should be at once
and finally repressed.

One more remark I must make before I close
the chapter, and that is on conversation. "The
tone of good conversation," says Rousseau, " is flow-
ing and natural ; it is neither heavy nor frivolous ;
it is lively without noise." The art of conversation
consists as much in listening politely as in talking
agreeably ; therefore never interrupt anyone who
may be speaking to you, and at the same time do
not let your eyes wander to other objects, but

46 Good Society,

keep them on the speaker, avoiding, however, the
rude stare. We should never be demonstrative in
our actions while speaking, nor should we either
talk loudly or laugh boisterously \ and the Persians
say of noisy, unreasonable talk, "I hear the noise
of the millstone, but I see no meal." Whispering
is a great breach of good manners. It is young
people, generally speaking, who commit this breach.
Youth and high spirits, together with love of fun
and frolic, make them forgetful or oblivious of the
feelings of others, and they indulge in this repre-
hensible and rude habit — for rude it most un-
doubtedly is. Who has not seen a knot of young
people cluster together in the corner of a room, and
begin first to whisper and then to giggle ? It may
be that nothing was further from their thoughts or
lips than to make remarks upon the company
present ; but such conduct always produces the
impression on the minds of those outside the clique
that they are the subject of those comments, and
perhaps the objects of ridicule. Therefore, how-
ever strong the desire may be to have private fun
and amusement, or to communicate secrets, it must
not be given way to in public.

Happily for us, general society is not made as
uncomfortable by this style of behaviour as it used
to be ; for the following description of the misery
endured by a gentleman at an evening party,
written fifty years ago, would be deemed a highly
exaggerated one now : —

" On my arrival the ladies indeed rose ; but when
I was seated, they grouped themselves in a corner
and entered into a private cabal, seemingly to dis-
course upon points of great secresy and importance,
but equal merriment and diversion. Their con-

Etiquette and Social Observances. 47

versation was confined wholly to themselves — it was
a continued laugh and whisper; a whole sent-
ence was scarce ever spoken aloud ; single words
now and then broke forth, such as * odious/
* horrible/ &c. My friend seemed to be in an
uneasy situation at his own table, but I was far
more miserable. I sat mute, and seldom dared to
raise my eyes or turn my head, lest by some
awkward gesture I might draw upon me a whisper
or a laughs' I should not have remarked upon
this habit had it been an obsolete one ; but it is
by no means uncommon now.

Would that the speaking voice were as as-
siduously cultivated as the singing voice, and then
the nerves of our ears would not be so often
jarred by harsh and iTnmelodicms talking ! " Her
voice was ever soft, gentle, and low — an excellent
thing in woman." That it is a question of culture
we may be sure, by observing that all those who
speak on the stage have sweetly-toned, pleasant
voices, and this could not be natural in every case.
Our two Queens Anne and Mary were both distin-
guished for their clear and distinct pronunciation,
their sweetness of intonation and grace of enuncia-
tion; these important accomplishments they derived
from the instructions of Mrs. Betterton, an actress.

And then again, what pleasanter sound than a
musical laugh? and yet how seldom do we hear
one ! Goldsmith asserts that a loud laugh be-
speaks a vacant mind, and Carlyle writes in his
quaint way, " Few are able to laugh what can
be called laughing, but only sniff and titter
from the throat outwards, or, at best, produce
some whiffling, husky cachinnations, as if they
were laughing through wool. Of pone sych cpm^§

48 Good Society,

good." Without endorsing this sweeping assertion,
we may earnestly recommend the culture of a well-
modulated voice and musical laugh.

But, alas ! what avails the sweetest-toned voice,
if the language is not correct and refined? In
the words of Ruskin, " A well-educated gentleman
may not know many languages — may not be able
to speak any but his own. But whatever languages
he knows, he knows precisely ; whatever word he
pronounces, he pronounces rightly — above all, he
is learned in the peerage of words ; knows the
words of true descent and ancient blood at a glance
from words of modern canaille." Not only should
the rules of grammar be attended to strictly, not
only should the " poor letter H " be always put in
its right and never in its wrong place, but care
should be taken lest words and phrases should be
introduced unconsciously into our conversation,
which are offensive corruptions of the English
tongue. And to quote Ruskin once more, " Vul-
garity is indicated by coarseness of language, but
only so far as this coarseness has been contracted
under circumstances not necessarily producing it
There is no vulgarity in —

' Blythe was she but and ben,
And weel she liked a Hawick gill,
And leugh to see a tappit hen ' ;

but much in Mrs. Gamp's inarticulate * bottle on
the chumley-piece, and let me put my lips to it
when I am so dispoged.' Provincial dialect," he
goes on to say, " is not vulgar, but Cockney dialect
is so in a deep degree, because it is the corruption
of a finer language continually heard." This ignor-
ance or want of taste meets with a sharp rebuke

Etiquette and Social Observances, 49

in the pages of the Tatler, The fashion of ab-
breviating words, of making one word out of two,
and pronouncing the first syllable only, in a word
that has many, is strongly censured. This reproof
w^as directed against the use of such words as
" phiz," " coz," and the like, then in vogue. We
may, in like manner, condemn as wholly objec-
tionable the use of those barbarous mutilations of
phrases such as " thank you," which has been con-,
densed into " thanks ; " and also lift up our voices
against the shortening of " invitation " into "invite."
The constant use of the word "lady" and the
term "lady friend" is also objectionable. It is
to be presumed that all your female acquaintances
are "ladies." A writer sarcastically observes,
" There is scarce one woman to be met with ; the
sex consists almost entirely of ladies. ^^

The recognised order of precedency is as fol-
lows : —

Peers rank among themselves by date, according
to their patent of creation.

Foreign ambassadors are given the precedence
of our nobility, as the representatives of the person
of the Sovereign who accredits them.

There is no specified place for physicians or
medical men, but they are ranked in the Royal
household as next to knights.

PRECEDENCY AMONG MEN.

Sovereign. Brothers of Sovereign.

Prince of Wales. Uncles of Sovereign.

Other Sons of Sovereign. Sovereign's brothers' or sisters'

Grandsons of Sovereign. sons.

D

so

Good Society.

Archbishop of Canterbury,
Lord Primate of All Eng-
land.

The Lord High Chancellor or
Lord Keeper.

The Archbishop of York, Pri-
mate of England.

The Archbishop of Armagh,
Primate of Ireland.

The Archbishop of Dublin.

The Lord High Treasurer.

The Lord President of the
Privy Council.

The Lord Privy Seal.

The Lord Great Chamberlain.

The Lord High Constable.

The Earl Marshal.

The Lord High Admiral.

The Lord Steward of Her
Majesty's Household.

The Lord Chamberlain of Her
Majesty's Household.

Dukes, according to their pa-
tent of creation.

Marquises, according to their
patent of creation.

Dukes' eldest sons.

Earls, according to their
patents.

Marquises' eldest sons.

Dukes' younger sons.

Viscounts, according to their
patents.

Earls' eldest sons.

Marquises' younger sons.

Bishops — London, Durham,
and Winchester. All other
English Bishops according
to their senionty of conse-
cration.

Bishops of Meath and Kildare.
All other Irish Bishops ac-
cording to their seniority of
consecration.

Secretaries of State of the
degree of Baron.

Barons, according to their
patent.

Speaker of the House of Com-
mons.

Commissioners of the Great
Seal.

Treasurer of Her Majesty's
Household.

Comptroller of Her Majesty's
Household.

Master of the Horse.

Vice-Chamberlain of Her Ma-
jesty's Household.

Secretaries of State under the
degree of Baron.

Viscounts' eldest sons.

Earls' younger sons.

Barons' eldest sons.

Knights of the Most Noble
Order of the Garter.

Privy Councillors.

Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Chancellor of the Duchy of
Lancaster.

Lord Chief Justice of the
Queen's Bench.

Master of the Rolls.

Lord Chief Justice of the Com-
mon Pleas.

Lord Chief Baron of the Ex-
chequer.

The Lords Justices of the
Court of Appeal in Chan-
cery.

Vice-Chancellors.

Judges and Barons of the de-
gree of the Coif of the said
Courts.

Commissioners of the Court of
Bankruptcy.

Viscounts younger sons.

Barons' younger sons.

Baronets of England, Scot-
land, and Ireland.

Knights of Grand Crosses of
the Bath.

Knights of Grand Crosses of
St. Michael and St. George.

Knights Commanders of the
Bath.

Etiquette and Social Observances, 51

Knights Commanders of St.

Michael and St. George.
Knights Bachelors.
Companions of the Bath.
Cavaliers Companions of St.

Michael and St. George.
Eldest sons of younger sons of

peers.
Baronets' eldest sons.
Eldest sons of Knights of the

Garter.
Eldest sons of Knights of the

Bath.
Knights' eldest sons.
Younger sons of younger sons

of Peers.
Baronets' younger sons.
Esquires of the Sovereign's

Body.

Gentlemen of the Privy Cham-
ber.

Esquiresof Knights of the Bath.

Esquires by creation.

Esquires by office.

Younger sons of Knights of
the Garter.

Younger sons of Knights of
the Bath.

Younger sons of Knights
Bachelors.

Clergymen, Barristers-at-law,
Officers in the Navy and
Army, who are all Gentle-
men, and have their respec-
tive precedency in their
severaJ professions.

Citizens.

Burgesses.

PRECEDENCY AMONG WOMEN.

The Queen.
Princess of Wales.
Princesses, daughters of the

Sovereign.
Princesses and Duchesses,

wives of the Sovereign's

sons.
Granddaughters of the Sove-
reign.
Wives of the Sovereign's

grandsons.
The Sovereign's sisters.
Wives of the Sovereign's

brothers.
The Sovereign's aunts.
Wives of the Sovereign's

uncles.
Wives of eldest sons of Dukes

of the Blood Royal.
Daughters of Dukes of the

Blood Royal.
Duchesses.
Marchionesses.
Wives of the eldest sons of

Dukes.

D 2

Daughters of Dukes.

Countesses.

Wives of eldest sons of Mar-
quises.

Daughters of Marquises.

Wives of younger sons of
Dukes.

Viscountesses.

Wives of eldest sons of Earls.

Daughters of Earls.

Wives of younger sons of Mar-
quises.

Baronesses.

Wives of eldest sons of Vis-
counts.

Daughters of Viscounts.

Wives of younger sons pf
Earls.

Wives of eldest sons of Barons.

Daughters of Barons.

Maids of Honour.

Wives of younger sons of Vis-
counts.

Wives of younger sons of
Barons,

1

52

Good Society,

Wives of Baronets.

Wives of Knights of the

Garter.
Wives of Knights of Grand

Crosses, Order of the Bath.
Wives of Knights Grand

Crosses of St. Michael and

St. George.
Wives of Knights Bachelors.
Wives of Companions of the

Bath.
Wives of Companions of St.

Michael and St. George.
Wives of the eldest sons of the

younger sons of Peers.
Wives of eldest sons of

Baronets.
Daughters of Baronets.
Wives of the eldest sons of

Knights of the Garter.
Daughters of Knights of the

Garter.
Wives of eldest sons of Knights

of the Bath.
Daughters of Knights of the

Bath.

Wives of eldest sons of KiJghts
Bachelors.

Daughters of Knights Bache-
lors.

Wives of younger sons of
younger sons of Peers.

Wives of younger sons of
Baronets.

Wives of Esquires of the Sove-
reign's Body.

Wives of Esquires to the
Knights of the Bath.

Wives of Gentlemen entitled
to bear arms.

Daughters of Esquires en-
titled to bear arms who are
Gentlewomen by birth.

Daughters of Gentlemen en-
titled to bear arms who are
Gentlewomen by birth.

Wives of Clergymen, Bar-
risters-at-law.

Wives of Officers in the Navy
and Army.

Wives of Citizens.

Wives of Burgesses.

CHAPTER IV.

LETTER-WRITING

Letter- writing in General — How to Write a Letter — ** Pens,
Ink, and Paper, Sealing-wax and Wafer *' — Different
Forms of Invitation — Modes of addressing Persons of
Rank.

*' To write aptly is of practice ;

to write is to speak beyond hearing,

And none stand by to explain." Tupper.

It is said that orators write affectedly, ministers
obscurely, poets floridly, learned men pedantically,
and soldiers tolerably when they can spell. " No
talent among men hath more scholars and fewer
masters." The palm of good letter- writing has
been universally awarded to the fair sex, but now-
a-days, when so much correspondence goes on
daily, few letters are indited which are really
worthy of commendation. The lives we lead are
so crowded with events that we have not the time
to record them except in the most concise form
possible ; continual change, hurry, and bustle pre-
vent us devoting much time to our pens, even
although we have every incentive to write. Our
more industrious and persevering ancestors wrote
under difficulties, with their parchment or paper
placed on their knees ; while we possess desks of
the most approved shapes and sizes, and have

54 Good Society,

everything made easy for our use. They had to
undergo much trouble in folding the large sheets of
paper then used, in a very precise manner, so that
one end could be neatly inserted inside the other,
and then the seal had to be affixed ; we have now our
envelopes into which to thrust our missives, securely
sealed without the help of sealing-wax or wafer;
our perforated stamps, so quickly torn asunder;
and post cards — which device, by the way, should
be made use of for transacting business matters
solely, and not for private affairs — and also letter-
cards. A few hints on letter-writing in general
will not be out of place before speaking of the
various styles proper on different occasions.

In order to make our letters pleasant to our
friends, we should write as we speak, just what we
have to say, and exactly in the words we should
say if our correspondent were sitting by us; and
then all that stiff formality, those long strings of
questions, those meaningless sentences with which
the mass of letters are burdened, would die a natural
death. " I desire my acquaintances when they
write to me," says Addison, " rather to say some-
thing which would make me wish myself with
them, than make me compliments that they wished
themselves with me/' The Germans give strict in-
junctions that you should not mention yourself
before you have introduced the person of your cor-
respondent ; that is, you must not use the mono-
syllable " I " before the pronoun ** you " — a com-
mand which it would be well to issue in this
country, and so put a stop to that wearisome for-
mula of commencement, " I hope you are quite well."
The handwriting should be clear, and yet not too
large and bold ; it should possess some character

Letter-Writing, 55

- *

and style, but not be adorned or ornamented with

fine flourishes and dashes. The minute ItaUan
handwriting — in which the words and letters ap-
peared to possess no individuality of their own —
has now passed out of date, and a freer, nobler
style has taken its place. There is a fashion in
letter-paper and envelopes which is ever varying as
to size and shape — sometimes small, at other times
large ; now oblong, now square ; but one thing never
alters, and that is the desirability of using good
thick paper and envelopes, whatever the shape may
be. Nothing looks more mean and untidy than
thin sheets and envelopes of the same quality,
through which the writing exhibits itself.

Some years ago the letter-paper and envelopes
used for notes of invitation were of the daintiest
and tiniest size ; the edges were lined with gold
or silver, and the most fairy-like impression in
white wax fastened the missive. Now we have
gone somewhat to the other extreme, and use
paper and envelopes of much larger size. We are
plainer too. All show and smartness is forbidden.
No blue or red-edged paper ; no fancifully coloured
ink ; no gaudily illuminated device of crest or
armorial bearings is admissible. The letter-paper
which is considered to show the most correct taste
is of medium thickness, is finely ribbed, slightly
glazed, and delicately tinted. Envelopes should
match the letter-paper in all respects. A fashion
prevalent with regard to envelopes is to have the
address stamped across the flap ; but this, to our
mind, is most objectionable, and simply calculated
to satisfy the incurable curiosity of servants as
regards the correspondence of their employers.

The address is written or printed on one side

56 Good SociEry,

at the top of the first page ; the monogram, or
crest, when used, opposite. If on mourning
paper these are in black, otherwise they should
be printed in white, or one colour on^y. Letters
should not be commenced very high or very low on
the page, but should be nearer the top than the
bottom. It is always more desirable to take a
second sheet than to cross the writing, a habit
which renders the reading of the letter a task, and
one to which men particularly object.

The size of paper used should be according to
the style of note written. Printed cards for formal
invitations are now almost invariably used ; but
should these kinds of invitations be written, a small
size — that called the " Albert " — is used.

Cards, square in shape, and white or tinted in
colour, with the address stamped on them, are used
for little notes and informal invitations : also, for
these same purposes, small sheets of paper stamped
with address and monogram, with envelopes
attached — one piece forming the two — have been
brought into use.

When sealing-wax is required, either red or black
must be used ; but we doubt if any one could be found
able to seal a letter neatly except a lady or gentleman
of the olden school ; so little occasion there is for the
art to be practised. Wafers are never allowable.

All letters to strangers and notes of formal
character should as a rule be written in the third
person, and must always be answered in the same
way ; and we trust, for the sake of the writer's re-
putation, that they will be better worded and less
confused than the one subjoined, which was an
answer sent to us by a seemingly well-educated
woman, the sister of a surgeon. We put it aside as a

Letter- Writing. 5 7

curiosity, and now copy it verbatim ; but hope that
our readers will not do the same : —

Miss B presents her own and her sister's and brother's

joint compliments, and begs leave to say that she and they will

be happy to accept the vicar's and Mrs. C' ^^'s kind invitation

on Friday evening, on the condition — which only applies though
to her brother — that his presence be excused until somewhat
later in the evening.

Thursday Morning.

In this instance two separate notes should have
been returned in answer to the invitation — which,
being of a formal character, had doubtless been
conveyed in that form — one for the sisters and one
for the brother ; or if otherwise, the reply might
have been couched thus —

The Misses and Mr. B have much pleasure in accept-
ing Mr. and Mrs. C 's kind invitation for Friday evening.

Mr. B regrets that an engagement will prevent him from

coming until later in the evening.

In certain cases, however, such as asking the
character of a servant, where it is necessary to ask
numerous questions and make various remarks, it is
better to write in the first person even to a stranger,
as the constant repetition of the names in a letter
of any length becomes awkward. In that case
the commencement would be " Sir " or " Madam,"
and the conclusion " Yours truly." To ordinary
acquaintances " Yours sincerely " is the correct
termination ; and whatever the degree of friendship,
we are inclined to think that great demonstrations
of affection and terms of endearment are better
avoided, or left only for the use of lovers. To
" present compliments '* is old-fashioned, and so is
to " avail yourself."

An invitation to dinner is issued in the name of

\

S8 Good Soc/etv.

the gentleman and lady. The following is the form
for printed cards : —

Mr. and Mrs. Thompson

Request the pleasure of

Mr. and Mrs. Field's

company at Dinner on Saturday,

the 9th of May, at half-past 7 o'clock.

Arncliffei April 26M.

Mr. and Mrs. Field accept with pleasure Mr. and Mrs.
Thompson's kind invitation to dinner on the 9th of May.
Sunny How, April 27M.

An invitation to a ball, evening party, or an " At
Home," in the name of the lady only : —

Mr, and Mrs, Childers.

Mrs. Simpson,

At Home,

Thursday, March 12th

Music 9 o'clock. r.s.v.p.

8, Tenterden Square.

Mrs. Lyon requests the pleasure of

Mr. and Mrs. Harley's

company on the evening of

January the fourteenth.

Dancing 10 o'clock. r.s.v.p.

The Beeches,

Le tteR' Writing, 5 9

Mr. and Mrs. Harley have much pleasure in accepting
Mrs. Lyon's kind invitation for the evening of the 14th of
January.

Belle Vue^ January dth*

The following is a form of invitation sent by the
parents of a Bride-elect to those friends who are
not asked to be guests at the house : —

Mr. and Mrs. Hayter

request the honour of

Mr. and Mrs. Mason's

company at the Marriage

of their daughter Mildred,

At St, Peter's Church, Eaton Square,

on Thursday, April 15th,

at 2 o'clock.

The following are two forms of invitation for a
garden party : —

Mr, and Mrs, Acton,

Mrs. Eden,

At Home

The Thursdays in May,

from 4 to 7 o'clock.

Eden Hall, Lawn Tennis.

Mr. and Mrs. Courtenay

request the pleasure of

Mr. and Miss Grey's

company at a Garden Party

on Friday, the 21st June, at 4 o'clock.

Dancing after 8

Aihmeadcw, R .s. v. p

6o

Good Society,

" R. S. V. P." are the initials of the words " R^-
pondez, s'il vous plait" In these invitations for
out-of-door parties it is always well to specify the
amusements, that ladies may be dressed accord-
ingly. For instance, archery and lawn tennis re-
quire different costumes; and unless dancing is
named the guests expect to leave early.

The formal acknowledgment of, inquiries after
an illness, etc., is : —

Mrs. Holmes

Returns thanks for

Mrs. Hill's

kind inquiries.

In addressing a clergyman it is usual to put
" Rev." or " Dear Sir." It is no longer customary
to write " B.A." or " M. A." after his name. When
the Christian name happens to be unknown, \vrite
the "Rev. White," not the "Rev. Mr. White."

Doctors of divinity and of medicine are thus
distinguished :—" To the Rev. R. Martin, D.D."
or " The Rev. Dr. Martin ; " « To F. G. Hopkins,
Esq., M.D.," or " Dr. Hopkins ;" but in each case
the former is considered the more correct.

In writing to servants it is customary to begin
thus :— " To Mary Farrar — Mrs. Taylor intends re-
turning," etc. ; and to tradespeople — " Mrs. Mait-
land will be obliged by Mr. Scott sending her 61b.
tea," etc.

Appended are the forms for addressing persons
of different ranks, and the proper superscriptions : —

Letter- Writing, 6 1

The Queen — Madam — To the Queen's Most Excellent Majesty.
Members of the Royal Family — Sir — Madam — To His or Her

Royal Highness.
Archbishops —My Lord Archbishop — His Grace the Archbishop

of

Duke — My Lord Duke — His Grace the Duke of

Marquis — My Lord Marquis — The Most Hon. the Marquis

of

Earl— My Lord— The Right Hon. the Eatl of

Viscount— My Lord — The Right Hon. the Viscount

Baron— My Lord— The Right Hon. the Lord F

Bishops — My Lord Bishop— The Right Rev. the Bishop of

Honorary titles of "K.G.," "K.C.B.," " M.P.,"
etc., may be added to the name. All members of
the Privy Council are addressed as " Right Hon.,"
and the title of ** Esq." is dropped, as ** The Right
Hon. W. E. Gladstone, M.P."

Peeresses of all the five orders are addressed as :

Duchess — My Lady— Her Grace the Duchess of

Marchioness— My Lady — The Most Hon. the Marchioness

of

Countess -My Lady — The Right Hon. the Countess of

Viscountess — My Lady — The Right Hon. the Viscountess of

Baroness— My Lady — The Right Hon. the Lady F

Widows of peers, if the successors to the title are
married :—

Her Grace the Duchess Dowager of

The Most Noble the Marchioness Dowager of

The younger sons and daughters of dukes and
marquises, and the daughters of dukes, marquises,
and earls, are styled lords and ladies.

Younger sons of earls and younger sons and
daughters of viscounts and barons are siyled, in
writing, "The Hon." Baronets, in order to dis-
tinguish them from knights, are addressed thus :
« Sir H. Grey, Bart,"

CHAPTER V.

VISITING.

The Use of "Calling" — Occasions when Calls should be
paid — The Card Case and its Contents — Ceremonies of
Calls — Cake and Wine — Visits — Length of Visits-«CSn-
duct when Staying in a Friend's House — Gratuities to
Servants.

"Well-dressed, well-bred, well-carriag'd,
Is ticket good enough to pass us readily

Through every door." Cowper,

The ceremony of paying calls has been ridiculed
and derided during the course of many, many years
as meaningless, useless, and stupid ; but it is still in
existence, and is as much practised as ever. Visits
of form, of which most people complain, and yet
to which most people submit, are absolutely neces-
sary — being, in fact, the basis on which that great
structure, society, mainly rests. You cannot invite
people to your house, however often you may have
met them elsewhere, until you have first called upon
them in a formal manner, and they have returned
the visit. It is a kind of safeguard against any
acquaintances which are thought to be undesirable.
If you do not wish to continue the friendship, you
discontinue to call, and that is considered as
an intimation of such intentions, and therefore
no further advances are made by them. But

Visiting, 63

it would be considered very baa manners, and
very uncourteous behaviour, not to retarn a call
in the first instance. Men do not, as a rule,
pay these visits of ceremony ; and it would
appear that they have always shirked their duties
in this respect as much as possible, judging from
an allusion made to this failing- by a writer of
the last century, who says : " It has grown to be
the fashion among men to treat the business of
visiting with great disrespect. They look upon it
as a mere female recreation, and beneath the
dignity of their superior natures. Yet, notwith-
standing their contempt, and the odious name of
* gadding ' which they have given it, I do not find
that they fail in their appearance at any of our
assemblies, or that they are better able to shut
themselves up in their own houses when there is
anything to be seen or done abroad."

There is something to be said in defence of the
men : their days are occupied with other and more
serious business; their evenings can be given to
their friends, and so they thus escape the monotony
of calling, and yet are allowed to enjoy the various
festive gatherings — provided, of course, that their
cards have duly represented their owners at the
houses of their acquaintances.

There are a great many occasions when calls
should be paid. There are calls congratulatory,
calls of condolence, and calls of courtesy. A bride
is called upon shordy after entering her new home.
Her parents receive the congratulations imme-
diately the engagement is announced, and after the
marriage has taken place. A mother also on the
birth of a child — indeed, it is usual, when any cause
for congratulation arises, that friends should at once

64 Good Society,

offer their good wishes in person. On the other
hand, should sorrow or any domestic calamity befall
any of our acquaintances, condolences and sym-
pathy should be offered — not immediately, as in
the other cases ; but sufficient time should be
allowed to the family before we venture to ask to
see them. There should be no hasty intrusion
upon their trouble and grief. To ensure this re-
spect, it has become the custom to " return thanks
for kind inquiries," and after these have been
received, then the call may be paid.

Lastly, there are calls general. These are made in
the country upon people when they first come into
the neighbourhood; and in a town — where every
one eyes askance a stranger — ^after an introduction
has been made on the first occasion through some
common friend ; these formal visits should always be
returned within three or four days. After receiving
any particular hospitality, such as a dinner or ball,
it is necessary to call or merely to leave cards at
the door within the {^"n following days. The hours
for calling are between three and six o'clock p.m.
No call should be paid before luncheon, unless on
a very familiar friend.

Cards must be left on all occasions of a formal
character. A lady leaves her own and two of her
husband's — one is intended for the gentleman of
the house and one for the lady. If a call is made
upon a guest staying at the house, a card is also
left for her. A lady when leaving cards for her hus-
band must place them upon the hall table, and not
leave them in the drawing-room on her departure,
as was the custom. Should the lady upon whom
you call not be at home, you turn down one corner
of the cards, which signifies that you have called

Visiting, 65

personally. Cards with inquiries should be left at
the door ; the post is a permissible channel for
the transmission of these where the distance is
inconveniently great. When you arrive in town
you call and leave your card as an intimation that
you are in the neighbourhood, thus acting the
reverse of what is considered proper when in the
country, where the rule is that the stranger waits
until called upon. In towns, and more particu-
larly that vast Babylon, London, people cannot be
aware of the movements and arrivals of their
friends, as is the case in the country; so that
unless an intimation of this kind reached them,
the town friend would be quite ignorant of the*
proximity of his country friend.

The cards of our grandfathers and grandmothers
wore a very important look — they were of large
size, very stiff, very highly glazed, and had the
names written in a series of flourishes. Ours
are much less ostentatious, plain cards, the gentle-
man's smaller than the lady's, with name and
address printed in an ordinary style. Married
people often have their names together on one
card, as —

Mr. and Mrs. Johnson.
4 Elkam Place,

Unmarried daughters have their names placed
under that of their mother —

Mrs. Benson.
Miss Benson,

The Cedars,

Parminster,

66 Good Society.

Merely honorary or official designations are
omitted, except on cards used for visits of a purely
official character.

The initials P.D.A. {Pour dire adieu) or P.P.C.
{Pour prendre, congd) are written on the right-hand
corner of the card when a call is made for the pur-
pose of leave-taking, such as that paid before a
long absence from the neighbourhood.

" Wedding cards," which formerly used to present
a very smart and elaborate appearance — thin satin
cards, with broad silver edges, tied together with
silver thread, and enclosed in an envelope to match,
and fastened down by a silver wafer — are never
sent nowadays^

It has^ been remarked that, notwithstanding the
copiousness of the English language, there is only
one word for the different times which are occupied
by a visit. People can find no term to express
their design of staying fifteen days at a house dif-
ferent from that which signifies fifteen minutes. The
would-be reformer goes on to say : — " When a fine
lady, having a new-fashioned suit of clothes, finds
it necessary to call upon forty or fifty of her friends
in one day, I am for an abridgment of the word,
and would call it a vis. When a gentleman or
lady intends taking a family dinner with country
friends, or a dish of tea with a town one, I would
have that called a visit. But when a person pur-
poses spending some days, weeks, or months at a
house, I would call that a visitation,^^ Instead of
abridging the word, which is always an unwise
thing to do, we have found another word altogether
for the short stay of a few minutes in another per-
son's house, and now we speak of " a call," and ** a
visit " means spending at least a night from home.

Visiting, 67

No call of a purely formal nature should be of
long duration— certainly not more than a quarter of
an hour. If you find callers already there, do not
outstay them, but leave the house even sooner than
you otherwise would have done. The lady when
receiving her friends should introduce them to
each other. She rises to receive each visitor as
they enter the room, and, if possible, offers a chair
near to her own to the last comer. If there are
gentlemen in the room, they also rise when other
people enter; but the ladies, should there be
any present, do not leave their seats. Of course
very much depends upon the degree of intimacy
which exists ; if this be very great, it will naturally
modify much of the formality absolutely necessary
in other cases. There is a picture, drawn in the
fifteenth century, of a room full of callers, which
looks very formal and stiff. A bench is round the
room, close to the wall, and on it are seated all the
ladies present, with their hands folded on their
knees, while the gentlemen are seated on stools, and
wear their hats. It requires considerable art, and
I might almost say presence of mind, to entertain
alone a great many callers at one time. The lady
who receives them should try and converse with
all ; no one in particular should engross her atten-
tion. This is no easy matter to perform well and
gracefully. When callers rise to take their leave,
the lady of the house rings the bell that the servant
may be at hand to open the hall door. If the
gentleman of the house be present, he escorts the
lady to the hall door and puts her into her carriage.
" Good-bye " is the form of leave-taking, and not
"Good-morning," A gentleman should bring his
hat and stick into the room, and keep them in hig

68 Good Society,

hands, unless anything requires him to set his hands
at liberty : he then places them on the floor. A
married lady of our acquaintance, ignorant of this
little piece of etiquette, was quite offended with a
gentleman who called upon her for taking his hat
and stick into her drawing-room. "Why did he
not leave them in the hall ? " said she ; " there was
a hat-stand for his accommodation."

Many ladies adopt the plan of always being at
home on stated afternoons, which are written on their
visiting-cards, thus, "At home on Thursdays;" "At
home the first and third Monday in the month.''

In country places, where people lived miles apart,
it was the time-honoured custom to offer wine and
cake to every caller. At one time even distance was
not considered ; hospitality was dispensed to every
comer, ^whether they were next-door neighbours or
not Here is an amusing instance of the strict-
ness with which this rule is still observed in some
parts.

A very splendid mansion was lately erected
quite close to the house of my friends, therefore
they thought it would be but a neighbourly cour-
tesy to call upon the new comers. They accord-
ingly one day crossed the road, ascended a flight
of steps which led to a massive portal, and, having
waited some time for admission, were at last invited
to walk in by some one who did not match the rest
of the house in appearance. Across a noble hall,
over a marble floor, and into a magnificent drawing-
room they were ushered, and there left for some
time to admire the sp'.endour around them while
the good woman of the house, it was presumed,
put on her best bib and tucker. By-andbye the mis-
tress appeared, resplendent in silks and lace — ^an

Visiting, 69

imposing spectacle until the tongue gave utterance,
and then what a contrast between the refinement of
all the surrounding objects and the refinement of
her speech ! The lady began at once to communi-
cate her domestic troubles : at present they were

without servants; but Mr. had gone into Wales,

and he would " leet " on a good one there, no
doubt In the midst of these confidences the door
slowly opened, and then a tray appeared, on which
rested cake and wine. The hand and arm which sup-
ported it were alone visible. The lady arose, and,
taking it from the mysterious hand, carried it to the
table, and commenced dispensing her hospitality.

It is considered bad manners for the lady of the
house to keep her callers in " durance vile " — that
is to say, for her not to go at once into the room
where they have been ushered. Sometimes one
calls at a house, and, having been shown into a
room, has had to wait patiently or otherwise for the
tardy appearance of the mistress. Whisperings are
plainly heard, then consultations, then steps going
stealthily up-stairs and as quietly descending, and
finally the lady of the house appears in a different
costume from that she had worn a quarter of an hour
before. Profuse apologies invariably fall from her
lips — *'I am so sorry to have kept you waiting,"
&c. But, my dear lady, apologies, however numer-
ous, will never make up for want of good manners ;
and therefore when the next caller honours you, go
to her as you are, and repress the desire to exhibit
your last new dress.

On the other hand, the visitors will, it is to be
hoped, refrain from bringing either dogs or child-
ren. The former are apt to do a great deal of
mischief in overturning things, and require the

70 Good Society,

constant attention of their owner, which interrupts
conversation ; and the latter, besides often hearing
much that they should not, are apt to make
awkward remarks, and are often as mischievous
amongst china and nick-nacks as the canine pet.

When you call with a letter of introduction —
which, by the way, when given in the first instance,
should not be sealed — it is usual to leave your card
and the letter, and not go in, as, should you do so,
you place the lady of the house in a dilemma.
Your name does not enlighten her as to who you
may be, and she cannot very well read the letter in
your presence, as in that case she could not enter-
tain you. The gentleman or lady to whom the
letter is addressed should at once send an invitation,
and show hospitality in some form to the friend of
their friend. And now we will turn to "visitations ; "
but before entering into details, let us say a word
of warning to the young or unmarried persons.
They, and more especially the gentler portion of
that community, often make mistakes by prolong-
ing their stay at a friend's house over a much
longer period of time than was first mentioned or
thought of by either party ; they turn visits into
visitations.

Young girls have little to occupy them in their
own homes, or perhaps they have too much for
their liking ; however that may be, they receive an
invitation from a firiend to spend a week or two,
and the week or two merges into a month or two.
They are aware that time is gliding on ; but it is a
pleasant existence. Amusements are provided ;
there are no cares nor troubles to vex and worry
either mind or body; and they are loth to make
the required effort. A feeble declaration is uttered

Visiting. 71

by them ; but directly the hostess says — as polite-
ness requires — " Oh, must you go ? " or " Can't you
stay longer with us ? " the young visitor catches at
the words, and settles comfortably down again, and
prolongs her sojourn. " Never outstay your wel-
come " is an old but a good saying ; and we have
very often heard the remark made, " I cannot (or
shall not) ask Miss So-and-so ; she always stays so
long when she comes, and one never knows when
she will go." If you are not well acquainted with
those who invite you, and particularly if they are
people who keep a great deal of company, two or
three days is the usual time. Of course the time
you stay depends very much, too, on the size of
your party. It is better when inviting your friends
to specify the length : " I shall be glad if you will
spend a week with us." The hostess should take
particular care to be at home when her guests
arrive, and ready to receive and welcome them.
Nothing gives a greater chill than a cold or a tardy
welcome, and nothing gives more pleasure than a
cheerful, prompt, and hearty greeting.

•* There is a certain hospitable air
In a friend's house that tells me I am welcome :
The porter opens to me with a smile,
The yard dog wags his tail, the servant runs.
Beats up the cushions, spreads the couch, and says,
' Sit down, good sir,' ere I can say I'm weary."

" There is,'' says Washington Irving, **an emana-
tion from the heart in genuine hospitality which
cannot be described, but is immediately felt, and
which puts the stranger at once at his ease.'* The
manner of greeting is not so free How as in olden
days. Then it was in deeds as well as words. It is

72 Good Society.

still customary for great and dear friends and rela-
tions to salute one another with the kiss of peace ;
but this is anything but a universal mode of salu-
tation, at least in demure dnd proper England. In
France and Germany, on the contrary, the inhabit-
ants go to the other extreme, and men kiss one
another in public and in private. That this form
of greeting was once more a la mode in our country
than it now is we learn from the remarks made by
three foreign travellers. Chalcondylas, a Greek, who
visited our island four or five centuries ago, was
highly surprised, delighted, and edified with this
way of procedure. He says, "As for English
females and children, their customs are liberal in
the extreme. When a visitor calls at a friend's
house, his first act is to kiss his friend's wife."
Nicander Nicius also adverts to this osculatbry
practice; and Erasmus, the staid Dutchman, be-
comes quite lively when expatiating upon this sub-
ject. He writes, "The English have a custom
which can never be sufficiently commended. Oil
your arrival you are welcomed with kisses, on your
departure you are sent off with kisses ; if you return
the embraces are repeated ; wherever you meet you
are greeted with a kiss ; whichever way you turn
there is nothing but kissing."

A hostess will make all the arrangements in- her
power to provide for the pleasure and amusement
of her guests ; and the guests in return must not
be unmindful of what is incumbent on them. They
should readily fall into all the plans that are made
for their entertainment, and try to assimilate their
ways to those of the household of which they are
members for the time being, even in what may
seem to them trivial matters. They should not

Visiting, 73

expect the attention either of their host or hostess
during the morning hours. Breakfast and luncheon
do not require a punctual attendance, as at those
meals it is not considered impolite to begin at the
stated hour, whether all the guests have assembled
or not. But not to be in the drawing-room when
dinner is announced, to absent yourself after
dinner, or to make any plans irrespective of your
entertainers, are grave . offences against social law.
The time of retiring for the night is intimated in
various ways ; a not unusual sign is the appearance
of a tray with wine, soda-water, and biscuits, after
partaking of which there is a distribution of candle-
sticks amongst the ladies, who retire to their own
apartments; and the gentlemen also vacate the
drawing-room, and some, perhaps, adjourn to the
smoking-room.

Fees or no fees? No definite determination
has yet been arrived at with regard to this often-
discussed question of giving money to servants.
In some few houses the owners have placed cards
in their visitors' bed-rooms, requesting them not to
give gratuities ; but servants, like railway porters,
look out for their douceurs. All those who have
rendered a guest any assistance look for an acknow-
ledgment, and their hands are always on the alert
when the moment of your departure arrives, to
receive and close upon the gold or silver coin
deposited therein.

A lady gives to the maid who has assisted her
with her toilet, and the housemaid. A gentleman
remembers the valet, butler, coachman, game-
keeper — any and all who have rendered him any
service, and the donations are according to the
wealth of the donor; but, as a rule, the men-servants

74 Good Society.

in large houses expect gold. These gratuities are
really a great tax upon people's purses ; and the
question whether to accept an invitation is often
decided in the negative by the thought of the ex-
penses entailed, not by railway tickets and cabs,
but by the men and the maids.

CHAPTER VI.

THE TOILET. — DRESS, NEATNESS, AND SUITABILITY.

Style of Dress appropriate for different Occasions — A Christen-
ing — When Paying Calls— At Garden Parties — Picnics —
The Seaside — Morning Dress — Dinner and Ball Dresses
— ^Jewellery — Bride's Costume ; Bridesmaids' — The Guests
at a Wedding — Mourning — Man's Dress— As a Bride-
groom — At Garden Parties — Seaside — "Full Dress" —
Jewellery — The Hat and Gloves.

" And now the toilet stands displayed."

Pope,

" Come, tailor, let us see't.
Oh mercy ! what masking stuff is here ?
What's this ? A sleeve ? " Shakespeare.

As Dr. Doran remarks, " Man is the only animal
born without being provided with a necessary cos-
tume ; plants die that man may live, and animals
are skinned that the lords of the creation may be
covered." It is therefore essential that the toilet
should be a matter for thought and consideration
for every one.

Now this chapter is not intended to be a disser-
tation upon fashion ; that I leave to the dress-
makers* monthly periodicals, for

"Our dress still varying.
Nor to forms confined.
Shifts like the sand, the sport
Of every wind."

76 Good Society,

I shall simply show what is the style and cha-
racter of dress appropriate for wear on different
occasions.

I agree with Dr. Watts, that

" It is in good manners, and not in good dress.
That the truest gentility lies ; "

but still I think the two go very much together,
and that dress has a certain effect on the cha^
racter and manners. Most people hold that
the reverse of this is true, and that a person's
dress is influenced by his character. Probably
each has an influence on the other ; but be that
as it may, an ill-dressed man is never so much
at his ease as a well-dressed man, and I believe
that mean and shabby clothing has an unconscious
hold on the mind.

" Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancjr— rich, not gaudy ;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man."

I have elsewhere protested against "best" rooms
and " company " manners, and would here remark
that the habit of being particular in our attire only
when we appear before ** company " is a bad one,
and an " ill habit has the force of an ill fate." The
eyes of those who form our home circle should
never be distressed by an untidy appearance. Cir-
cumstances may forbid our garments being either
rich or costly, but neatness and simple elegance
can always be shown in every dress and at every
season. •* My wife appears decent enough in her
apparel to those who visit us in an afternoon ; but

The Toilet, 77

in the morning she is quite another figure," writes a
complainant.

There is no easier method by which to detect
the real lady from the sham one than by noticing
her style of dress. Vulgarity is readily distin-
guished, however costly and fashionable the habili-
ments may be, by the breach of certain rules of
harmony and fitness. No one, perhaps, can dress
perfectly without a genius for it, but every one can
avoid vulgarity and slovenliness, and attain the
average standard of gentility. Neatness we have
spoken of as a requisite element, and another and
all-important one is suitability — suitability as to
various times and seasons — suitability as to age.

A dress which would look perfectly well on one
occasion will appear out of place and vulgar on
another. A costume in which a young woman
looks bewitching makes an older one look absurd
and ridiculous.

Our neighbours on the other side of the Channel,
who are always held up to us as models of taste,
are very particular in these points — neatness and
suitability — and we must own that an English-
woman rarely presents an appearance as elegant as
a Frenchwoman, even though the attire of the
former may be gorgeous, and that of the latter
simple and plain in the extreme. The French
excel, too, in the assortment and harmonising of
colours. They never dream of decking themselves
in all the hues of the rainbow ; one, or at the most
two colours predominate in their whole dress ;
and whatever the colours chosen, they are selected
with a view to suit the complexion of the wearer.
Alas and alack ! for Englishwomen in respect to
these matters. Here, you see one with drab face

78 Good Society

and drab dress; there, one bedizened like a har-
lequin ; some in silks and satins, lace and jewels,
when the occasion demands that they should be
plainly clad in woollens and cambric ; mothers and
grandmothers affecting a style of juvenility which
would look charming on their descendants, but ill-
becomes their grey heads and wrinkled brows. The
old lady I saw at a college concert, who had placed
on the back of her grey-haired head a bunch of
brown hair, and considered that a sufficient ornament
without the addition of cap or lappet ; and the one
I met at a ball, attired in white satin, with her bare
seventy-year-old neck and shoulders powdered
and devoid of scarf or shawl, forgot the fact that
the aping of juvenility " multiplies the wrinkles of
old age, and makes its decay more conspicuous."

But let us proceed to review the various styles of
dress^proper for different occasions.

The dress worn by a mother at her infant's
christening and her own churching should be
plain and neat, but handsome and substantial.
There is an entry in King Edward II.'s " House-
hold Book" to the following effect: "To the
Queen's tailor was delivered five pieces of white
velvet, for the making thereof a certain robe
against the churching of the Queen after the birth
of her son." A dress of silken material will look
more in accordance with the occasion than one of
thin texture.

The costume for paying calls when on foot differs
from that which should be worn for the same pur-
pose when driving in a carriage. In the former case
it will be of a much plainer character. It may be
light or dark, according to the season ; but it must
not be gay, and not h?^ve anything about it tg

The Toilet, 79

attract attention, but be like that of the lady ol
whom Dr. Johnson said that he was sure she was
well dressed, because he could not remember any-
thing that she had on.

Carriage dress has much more licence. Hand-
some costumes, made of rich silken materials, flowery
or feathery bonnets and lace sunshades, which would
look quite out of place when walking, are suitable
when driving. For some years black gloves were
universally worn at all times and seasons, and with
every style of dress. Their place has been taken by
tan-coloured gloves, which are worn with evening as
well as with morning attire. Those made of soft,
dull su^de kid are selected for evening wear in pre-
ference to the thicker glossy kid. When paying
calls, gloves of a shade harmonising in colour with
the dress are usually worn. All gloves are long, and
are fastened by many buttons, the number of which
varies from six on those worn out of doors to twenty
on those worn with evening dress. Bracelets and
bangles of gold or silver are worn over the glove.

The toilet for garden parties, bazaars, flower-shows,
&c., is of a brighter, gayer fashion, and affords room
for the display of much taste and elegance. Young
women attire themselves in delicately tinted fine
materials — materials which have a refinement,
beauty, and" softness characteristic of those whom
they are designed to embellish, but quite distinctive
from those worn in the ball-room. These costumes
are made as effective and coquettish as possible —
everything that will add to the gaiety, without pass-
ing the limits of morning attire, is permissible, and
the whole is crowned by a bonnet or hat of like
description. The elder ladies should wear silks or
^pme handsome material, richly trimmed with lace.

8o Good Society.

a foreign shawl or lace mantle, and bonnets, not
hats, whether in town or country.

Costumes for picnics, excursions, and for sea-
side wear should be oi a useful character. Nothing
looks worse at these times than a thin, flimsy fabric,
which will split and tear at every turn, or a faded,
shabby silk ; and nothing looks better than some
strong material, either one that will wash or other-
wise, but of such a description that it will look
almost as well at the end of a day*s hard wear as
at the beginning.

Yachting dresses are generally made of serge or
tweed, as those materials are unspoilable by sea air
and water, and at the same time possess warmth
and durability.

The dresses worn by lawn-tennis players have
various distinctive features. Wool, much or little,
should in some measure form the material, for
health's sake, as a preventive of chills being taken ;
therefore cashmere, serge, and flannel are chosen.
As the dress should not be heavy, fineness of wool
and lightness of weight of material have to be con-
sidered. The bodice is usually made full, and the
skirt is short, and not burdened with many frills
and flounces. But within these boundary lines,
prettiness and embellishments can be introduced
— combinations of colours, bright ribbons, and
various other adornments will give the dress an
attractive appearance. A receptacle for the tennis
balls is sometimes part of the player's costume.
An ornamental and useful one should be arranged,
made of the same material as the dress. Its form
can be that of a flat pocket, or a bag, suspended
from the waist. . Hats of every variety are worn,
Qi all shapes and sizes. They should in some

The Toilet, 8i

degree suit the rest of the costume in style and
appearance.

And next of indoor dresses.

A lady's morning dress should be simple and
refined, and suited to the time of day. No old
" company " gown should exhibit itself and its
shabbiness in the morning light, but a dress fresh
as the mom itself; as inexpensive as you please, but
clean and appropriate it must be. Lace, unless
of a thick description, is not worn with morning
attire. Honiton and Brussels would be quite out of
place. Neither is much jewellery consistent ; plain
gold and silver ornaments are permissible, but
never precious stones, except in rings.

When visiting at a friend's house the morning
jdress may be of a slightly superior style ; for in-
stance, a white embroidered dress may be worn
where one of coloured cotton would be used at
home, or a velveteen instead of a serge one ; but
remember that " great external display is generally
said to be employed to hide internal vulgarity," and
we know of nothing which evinces not only greater
want of taste, but also ignorance of the habits of
good society, than smartness in morning attire,
and especially a lavish display of jewellery.

Again, a dinner dress differs from that worn at
a ball, although they both may be termed "full
dress." For the former occasions silks and satins,
velvets and brocades, are the materials chosen, and
are trimmed with lace. The neck and arms of the
wearer are now generally covered, excepting at a
specially " full-dress " dinner ; the bodice is made
high, but open in front, and the sleeves reach the
elbow.

Of late years young women have so arranged

F

82 Good Society,

their hair that extra adornments have not been in
much favour — a jewelled ornament placed accord-
ing to fancy, a decorative comb, or bow of ribbon,
arranged in the manner most becoming to the
shape of the head, or the style in which the hair is
dressed, are employed. Older ladies wear caps
composed of flowers, of feathers, of pearls, of fine
lace or combinations of lace with one or more of
the above-named.

In the ball-room nothing but complete full dress
should be worn. For young people dresses of
fabrics of those textures which do not look thick
and heavy are chosen, such as surah silk, tulle, net,
gauze, and the like, trimmed with lace and flowers.
The bodice is made low, with short sleeves; or
cut open in front and at the back, with shoulder-
straps, and sleeves to the elbow. Extremes in the
forms of the dresses worn on these occasions
attract observation, but not admiration.

The flowers worn on these occasions are gener-
ally artificial, because natural ones so soon fall to
pieces from the heat of the room and the move-
ments of the dancers.

The dress of the chaperons should be similar in
character to that worn at a dinner. Jewellery is
generally worn in sets ; ornaments never look so
well if pieces of different sets are displayed to-
gether; that is to say, if diamonds are in the
brooch, a necklet of pearls and earrings set with
emeralds would not look well if worn on the same
occasion. All the ornaments should match in
character as much as possible, but variety is allowed
in the matter of bracelets.

The bride's costume now demands attention.
Formerly magnificence and costliness were studied

The Toilet. 83

before elegance and grace. We flatter ourselves
that in our time bridal attire is more worthy of ad-
miration, though not as gorgeous as of yore. His-
tory tells us that the bridal dress of one lady — a
royal one, it is true, but subjects always follow as
closely as they may the fashions set them by their
sovereigns — was composed of velvet and cloth of
gold, and the weight of it was sixty pounds ! Brides
of the present day are dressed entirely in white,
unless for a second marriage, when it is usual to
choose some delicate colour for the dress, such as
silver grey, pearl-white, or dove-colour, and also to
wear a bonnet instead of the virgin veil. The dress
of a young bride is made of soft-textured silk or satin
or brocade, trimmed with flowers and rich white lace,
and a large veil of the same description of lace as that
on the dress. This is placed on the head so as to fall
on to the skirt of the dress, equally behind and in
front. The wearing of the veil appears to have
originated with the Anglo-Saxons, whose custom it
was to perform the ceremony of marriage under a
square piece of cloth, which was held at each
corner by a tall man over the bridegroom and the
bride, for the purpose of concealing her blushes.
If the bride hed been married before, the veil was
dispensed with.

Some twenty or thirty years ago it was correct
to wear " full dress " at a wedding ; that is, the
bride's dress was made low, with short sleeves, and
the bridegroom wore an evening suit. Now, morn-
ing attire is proper for gentlemen, and the bride's
costume too is much more simple. A wreath of
white flowers is worn under the veil, white gloves
and shoes, and a bouquet composed entirely of
white flowers. Any great display of jewellery is in
F 2

84 Good Society,

bad taste, and the little that may be allowed should
not be florid or elaborate. A set of pearls looks
well, or something of the same plain and simple
character.

There is more variety in bridesmaids' dresses
than in that of a bride. A picturesque costume is
often chosen which combines two colours, or is
made entirely of one shade of colour. The hats
or bonnets are often composed of the same ma-
terial as the dress, or else of that which trims it.
The flowers worn are generally those which would
be naturally blooming at that season. Sometimes
veils of plain tulle are worn, and wreaths take the
place of bonnets. When this is the case the veil
does not fall over the face, like that of the bride,
but entirely down the back. All the bridesmaids
are dressed alike, and their bouquets are composed
of coloured flowers. Neither the bride nor her
maids, when veils are worn, wear anything over
their shoulders except their dresses and veils.

The young ladies who do not hold the office of
bridesmaids should choose some dainty dress ma-
terial. If children are present at a wedding, girls
look the best in costumes of white or pale colours,
and little boys in some fancy costume, or in velvet
suits made after the fashion of the Royal pages-
in-waiting of bygone days.

The older guests at a wedding should choose
some handsome, rich material, and have it trimmed
with either white or black lace. Over their
shoulders should be worn a lace mantle or one
of silk or satin, and their bonnets trimmed with
feathers and flowers.

Formerly mourning was worn both for a longer
period and of a much deeper character than is usual

The Toilet, 85

at the present time. Two years was not considered
too long a time for a near relative, such as father
or mother. Now, one year for relations of that
degree, and six months for uncles, aunts, or cousins,
is the general time. In these days it is considered
better taste to wear plainer and less heavy, expen-
sive, and ostentatious habiliments than' heretofore.
Widows wear their weeds, which consist of crape
dress, large black silk cloak, crape bonnet and veil,
plain muslin collar and broad cuffs (or " weepers,"
as they are termed), and "widow's cap," usually for
a year, and then discontinue the particular signs
which distinguish a widow, such as cap, weepers,
and veil, and wear ordinary mourning for as long a
time as they may wish. Deep mourning is consi-
dered to be woollen fabrics and crape. What is
called "second mourning" is dull black silk or
cashmere, with or without crape. The third stage,
which is called "half mourning," is black and
white. Complimentary mourning is black with-
out crape.

Of course it will be thought that there cannot
be much to say about men's toilets, since they are
supposed never to think about dress, nor talk
about it, and rarely to change their fashions. I
have said very little about them yet, it is true ; but
had I space at my command I could write pages
to show how in every age the art of dress has been
one of the leading studies of the masculine mind.

An old Anglo-Saxon chronicler writes that the
young men of his day were more foppish and vain
of their appearance than the ladies, and to prove
his words he adduces the following reasons : that
they used to comb their hair every day, bathed
every Saturday, often changed their clothes, and

86 Good Societv,

used many other such frivolous means for setting
off the beauty of their persons ! Then we read that
in Henry I/s time men vied with women in the
length of their locks, and wherever these were
wanting they put on false tresses. During the time
of James I. the beaux wore long love-locks, and
sometimes stuck flowers behind their ears ; and a
certain Earl of Pembroke, a man far from being an
effeminate character, is represented as wearing ear-
rings ! Tales might be told of the wrought night-
caps, which were embroidered in gold and silk for
physicians, and in black and white for the clergy.
Pepys, in his quaint, open, simple way, thus dis-
closes to us the vanity of the sex in his day, for he
not only jots down the different costumes noticed
by him as worn by his fair acquaintances, but a great
many pages are devoted to descriptions of his own
apparel. Here is one out of the many like pas-
sages with which his Diary abounds : —

"Oct. 30. — ;^43 worse than I was last month.
But it hath chiefly arisen from my laying out in
clothes for myself and wife, viz. : for her about ;^i2,
and for myself ;^5 5 or thereabouts. Having made
myself a velvet cloak, two new cloth shirts, both
black and plain ; a new shag gown, trimmed with
gold buttons and twist ; with a new hat and silk
tops for my legs ; two periwigs, whereof the one
cost me ;^3, and the other thirty shillings. These
not worn yet, but begin next month, God will-
ing."

The dress of that day must have added greatly to
the splendour and gaiety of the coup d^ceil on all
occasions, while the sombre, tame appearance of
ours decidedly detracts from it.

The dress of Richard Coeur de Lion as a bride-

The Toilet. 87

groom was a satin tunic of a rose colour, belted
round the waist ; a mantle of striped silver tissue,
brocaded with silver crescents ; and on his head a
rose-coloured bonnet, brocaded in gold with figures
of animals. The bridegroom of fifty years ago
appeared in light-blue tail-coat, with gold buttons,
white waistcoat, knee-breeches, shoes and buckles,
the ordinary evening suit of that period. The
bridegroom of to-day is dressed in morning 'attire
— dark frock-coat, with waistcoat, and trousers of
some fashionable shade, and scarf or tie of a tint
which harmonises with the rest of the suit. The
other gentlemen present at a wedding wear the
same style of dress. At a fete champHre given by
Queen Mary, the gentlemen who attended Princess
Elizabeth were attired in russet damask and blue
satin, with caps of silver cloth and blue plumes.
At garden parties in town the men wear frock-
coats, either dark-blue, grey, or black, white waist-
coats, light trousers, and silk hats.

For seaside and country use, a complete suit of
dark-blue serge or mixed tweed is found the most
suitable wear.

The present style of evening dress has been
much abused as so closely resembling that worn
by waiters. The black tail-coat, waistcoat (some-
times white), and trousers, and white tie, present a
sombre not to say a gloomy appearancie, and
furnish no scope for variety from year to year,
except in the shape and cut.

Having described the different styles of men's
dress, it may be as well to remark that what
has been said in the former part of the chapter
about "suitability'* equally applies to their cos-
tumes as to that of ladies. For instance, when

88 Good Society,

it is said that a tweed suit is worn in the country,
it must not be supposed that that costume is
there suitable for every occasion and at all times
of the day. On some occasions neither the tweed
costume nor the evening dress suit would be ap-
propriate, but the intermediate dress should be
worn — a suit such as is usually donned on Sundays
either in town or country — black frock-coat,
coloured trousers, and dark tie or scarf. No at-
tempt should ever be made to combine morning
and evening dress; they should always be quite
distinct the one from the other.

It is not considered good taste for a man to wear
much jewellery. A plain, handsome ring, studs,
and sleeve-links, a watch-chain without pendants,
will always look more seemly than a great display
of elaborate ornaments.

Men should wear gloves in the street, or at a
ball; when paying a call, driving, riding, and in
church; but not usually in the country, and not
at a dinner. But of all the various articles which
compose the male attire, there is perhaps not one
which has so much character and expression as the
head-dress. "A neat, well-brushed, short-napped
gentlemanly hat, put on with a certain air, gives a
look of distinction and respectability to the whole
exterior."

CHAPTER VII.

MARRIAGE.

"Things to be thought of" — Interview with Father-in-Law
— Engagement Ring — Wedding Presents — Etiquette of
Courtship — The Bridesmaids — The Licence and Banns
— Bridegroom's Presents to Bride and her Maids — Day
before the Wedding — Wedding Day — The Ceremony —
The Breakfast — The Departure — Amusements for the
rest of the Day.

" And all went merry as a marriage bell."

Byron.

" she look'd, she blush'd consent ;

He grasped her hand, to church they went."

If all courtships and weddings were conducted in
the very summary and abrupt manner described in
the above lines, this chapter would be a super-
fluous one ; but, in truth, there is a multitude of
things to be done at the time of an event of this
kind, and a thousand preparations to be made
beforehand. Indeed, a wedding necessitates much
thought and labour and numberless arrangements,
from the time when the happy day is fixed upon
up to the very last minute of the day itself. The
wear and tear of mind is indescribable, more par-
ticularly to the members of the bride-elect's family.
The trousseau — whom to ask to be bridesmaids —
the guests to be invited to the wedding and to the
wedding-feast— who ought to be invited to stay in
the house during the time — how to provide for
visitors who cannot be so accommodated — the

90 Good Society,

perplexing question whether hospitality is to take
the form of breakfast, luncheon, or afternoon tea —
the amusement of the guests for the rest of the day
— these and all the thousand and one details con-
sequent on them are no light burden to support.
Of course, in one sense, it is all a pleasant kind of
" worry."

From time immemorial weddings have been con-
sidered by most nations to be occasions for feasting
and rejoicing. This idea has been carried out in
different ways, but all agree that happiness and
merriment should be the prevailing sentiments. I
have heard of but one exception. Madame Pfeiffer
tells us that there is an Eastern country wherein
the custom is for the bride, after the marriage cere-
mony — which is performed in the forenoon — to sit
for the remainder of the day in a comer of the
room with her face to the wall. She is not allowed
to answer any one whatever, still less is she per-
mitted to speak herself. This silence, it appears,
is intended to typify the sorrow of the bride at
changing her condition.

But there are several preliminaries to consider
before speaking of the eventful day. Having
wooed and won the faire ladye, the happy suitor
has next to undergo the dreaded ordeal of asking
her father's or her guardian's consent. It is the
fashion in novels to depict all fathers on these
occasions as stern, with adamantine hearts. In
real everyday life they are to be met with here
and there, and exist, we must suppose, on purpose
to prove in those cases the truth of the old
adage, that " the course of true love never does
run smoothe."

It is said that in the olden times of our countr}',

Marriage, 91

the women made the advances, and often became
the suitors ; but it is not upon record whether they
asked the consent of their future fathers-in-law.

In cases where the lady possesses a large fortune,
or where the gentleman has little besides love to
offer, it is considered the more honourable course
for him to seek the parents' consent before the
daughter's, and to ajsk their permission to lay his
heart at her feet However this may be, the first
interview between two men in this position must
perforce be an uncomfortable one. It is a father's
duty to go thoroughly into the subject — to examine
future prospects, to weigh the purse, to speak of
deeds — not " doughty deeds," but parchment ones
— and settlements, and dower. All these practical
matters — matters so essential to the future happi-
ness and well-being of the young couple — must oe
spoken of and talked over, in order that there be
no rash vows — no need for disagreement in the
future.

Nervous, timid suitors often try to evade this
trying ordeal by writing their petition instead of
preferring it personally, which is but a weak mode
of procedure, we are inclined to think ; as should
the consent be given it is only a postponement
of the inevitable ; and should it be withheld the
chance is lost of trying persuasive eloquence, or
of offering further explanations — for **to write is
to speak beyond hearing, and none stand by to
explain."

The ceremony of betrothal, which still exists in
many lands, is no longer observed in ours. In
Holland all the friends and neighbours of the
engaged couple assemble and celebrate it by an
extensive consumption of hriudsuker (bridal sugar)

92 Good Society.

and briuditranen (bridal tears), as the spiced wine
drunk on that occasion is figuratively named. In
England it was once the custom to break in half
a gold or silver coin, in token of a verbal contract
of marriage and promise of love, each party trea-
suring a half. Now it is the fashion for the fiance
to give his fiancee a ring of a plain though hand-
some description, one that can be worn afterwards
as a guard to the wedding-ring. There is a super-
stition forbidding the ring to be set either with
opals or emeralds — the former because they denote
change, the latter jealousy. The Gypsy ring, a
broad band with the stones (diamonds, pearls,
rubies, or turquoises) let in, as it were, in a circle
round the ring, is a favourite and pretty choice.
The engagement ring of the Princess of VVales was
one of this description, and the stones were so
selected and set that their initial letters formed the
name of " Bertie," that being the pet name of the
royal bridegroom-elect. If a simple inexpensive
ring be required, a band of gold, chased, but with-
out stones, may be used. The engagement ring is
worn on the third finger of the left hand, by itself,
until the wedding ring is placed on the same finger,
when the engagement ring acts as its keeper.

When the engagement takes place, the relations
of the happy man should immediately express a
wish to be introduced to his fiancke^ if they are
strangers to her, in order that they may welcome
her as a future member of their family. If they
live in the immediate neighbourhood, they call
upon her and her parents ; if at a distance, they
invite her to pay them a visit, when her lover
accompanies her and introduces her to his family.

The engagement should be announced to all

Marriage, 93

relations and friends, who should at once offer
their congratulations to the bride-elect and to her
parents, either personally or by letter.

Directly people hear of the contemplated mar-
riage of an acquaintance, the first thought which
crosses their mind is, "What shall we give them?"
— a most difficult question to answer, and one
which is the cause of much cogitation to the
anxious and bewildered donor.

It would seem as if people's ideas always run
in the same grooves in this matter, to judge from
the litde variety displayed in the selection. We
have heard of as many as a dozen fish-slices
finding their way into the young couple's keeping ;
and as to butter-knives, they are apt to muster as
strong as pigeon-pies at a picnic. What a pity it
is that there is not a committee of friends ap-
pointed to arrange this important business ! Much
perplexity and doubt might thus be saved. Some
people avoid the difficulty by sending a sum of
money to the bride-elect, to be spent by her on
what she wishes. This plan is becoming very
general.

But what are the affianced ones doing all this
time ? Not appearing in public without a chape-
ron, it is to be hoped. The office of chaperon,
though an honorary one, is generally deemed to
be a laborious post, and on these occasions it is —
we were going to say, a disagreeable one. At any
rate, it cannot be agreeable to be in the position
of being one too many, and where you are not
wanted. This third person who plays propriety is
also known by the name of ** Gooseberry." The
origin of this term is now quite forgotten. Perhaps
Bums explains it when he says —

94 Good Society,

" It's hardly in a body's power
To keep at times from being sour."

Lovers should not make a practice of absenting
themselves, or of being so entirely absorbed with
each other as to completely ignore or neglect others
whose company they may be in. Neither is it con-
sidered good manners to display demonstrative
affection continually, or publicly. **A11 frothy
tendernesses and amorous boilings-over are insults
on and affronts to company," says Swift. It is to
be feared that very often " we that are lovers run
into strange capers."

It is the lady's privilege to choose the happy day,
and nowadays any one of the three hundred and
sixty-five may be fixed upon ; but there was a time
when the choice was restricted to certain seasons.
An almanack for the year 1678 inserts the following
notice : —

" Times prohibiting marriage : — Marriage comes
in on the 13th day of January, and at Septuagesima
Sunday it is out again until Low Sunday ; at which
time it comes in again, and goes not out until Ro-
gation Sunday ; thence it is forbidden until Trinity
Sunday, from whence it is unforbidden until Advent
Sunday ; but then it goes out and comes not in
again till the 13th day of January next following."

Although the choice of our young people is not
thus curtailed, we advise them to decide if possible
upon summer as the season, and the country as
the place. Winter weddings and those in town
are alike profoundly dispiriting. "Happy is the
bride that the sun shines on," and how can we rely
upon winterly rays, they are so transient and un-
certain ?

Then in a town, and especially in London, every-

Marriage, 95

thing and everybody looks so much the reverse of
sentimental. It seems the sole aim of the official's
to get the whole affair over with as much speed as
possible. The crowd which collect around the
church have no interest in the bride beyond her
dress. They only gather out of idle curiosity. And
then in a town where are the flowers to strew the
bride's path ? We heard of this once being at-
tempted in London ; but, said the relater, ** the
camellias and azaleas had a palpable florist look
about them, not in the least like those grown in
a country greenhouse. They were cut with an
economy of stalk and leaf which spoke plainly of
a professional knife."

But we must not wander. The day being fixed,
the lady has now to take into serious consideration
how many bridesmaids she will have, and who they
must be ; while her lover — lucky man — has no
such weight on his mind. Whatever the number
of attendants on his bride, he only requires one
to support himself, and that one is either a
brother or his own most intimate friend, who for
the nonce is called " the best man."

The number of bridesmaids varies from two to
twelve. Six or eight are the favourite numbers, but
much depends upon how many near relatives,
sisters, or cousins, the bride and her groom hap-
pen to have. The selection is made from the two
families as a rule, and the chief bridesmaid is the
bride's sister, if she have one.

We have elsewhere spoken of the dresses to
be worn by the bridesmaids on these occasions,
so now we will only speak in passing as to
with whom the choice should rest. This is a
much-vexed question, and often causes serious

96 Good Society.

dissatisfaction — not perhaps openly expressed, but
inwardly felt The bride has her ideas on the
subject of material and colour and style, and
it is only right that her wishes should be mainly
consulted; but let her consider others as well as
herself. If she does not present the costumes,
she should be careful not to demand expensive
ones, which will drain her friends' purses some-
what too much. Girls are often very thoughtless
in. this respect, and insist upon very handsome and
expensive dresses^ which are frequently of no use
after the day for which they were ordered. And
then as to colour, som6 colours are particularly
unbecoming to one person, others to another.
Endeavour, therefore, to arrange a colour and style
of dress such as will suit the majority.

Often when there are a number of bridesmaids,
half the number are attired in one colour, half in
another. Sometimes the choice rests with the
chief " maid " ; but we think all should have a voice
in the matter, and that they all should consider and
try to fall in with the wishes of the bride-elect.

But w^hile his j^a/icee is arranging her maids and
their dresses, the bridegroom must not be idle
There are various duties devolving upon himself
which demand his attention, first and foremost
the arrangements for the ecclesiastical part of the
ceremony.

There are four ways by which to get married in
England. The first is by special Hcence, which
enables you to be married at any time and at any
place, but is not often made use of, being a very
expensive method. The cost of such a licence is
fifty pounds, and it is only obtainable through an
archbishop.

Marriage, 97

Then there is an ordinary licence, which can be
procured either at Doctors' Commons or through
a clergyman (the most ordinary way), who, how-
ever, must be a surrogate, and also resident in
the diocese in which the marriage is to take
place. It also necessitates a personal interview
between one of the parties and the clergyman, as
he or she must swear that both are of age ; or if
minors, that they have the consent of their parents
or guardians. As the marriage takes place in the
parish in which the lady resides, it sometimes
happens that she is obliged to apply for the licence,
if the gentleman lives at a distance and finds it
impossible to take two journeys, one to procure a
licence and one to procure a wife. A fair friend of
mine was once placed in this awkward predicament
of having to procure her own licence. One of the
parties must have resided during at least fifteen days
in the parish in which the wedding is to take place.
The fee for a licence \^ £2 13s. 6d., including los.
for stamp. The licence may be used any time
during the three months following the date of issue.

To be married by banns is considered to be the
most orthodox way of proceeding, as well as the
most economical. Banns must be published in the
church of the parish in which the lady lives, and
also in that in which the gentleman resides, for three
continuous Sundays prior to the marriage ; and the
banns hold good for the three months follow-
ing. The parties must have resided fifteen days
previously in the parish.

Or the knot may be tied at a licensed chapel, or

at the office of the Superintendent Registrar. In

either of these cases it is requisite to give notice at

the said office of the intended marriage, three weeks

(i

98 Good Society,

previous to the ceremony, and to obtain a certificate
to the effect that this has been done, for both of
which forms the modest sum of one shilling is
charged. Should the marriage be by licence, the
notice need not be given so long beforehand, for
the marriage may be solemnised after the expiration
of one whole day next after the day of the entry of
the notice. For instance, if notice was given on a
Tuesday, the marriage might take place on the
Thursday following. The presence of the Registrar
is required, both at the chapel and at the office, in
which latter place a short ceremony is gone through
before the Superintendent Registrar (who receives
nothing for his trouble), which ceremony legalises
marriages contracted in this manner.

The clergymen asked to officiate are, generally
speaking, the relatives or old family friends of the
bride-elect ; but it is etiquette to invite the clergy-
man of the church in which the ceremony is to take
place also to assist, and the rule is that he should
in any case receive the fee, even if he be not present
on the occasion, and also that he should receive
an invitation to the breakfast.

"People in England," writes a French lady,
"have no notion of what trouble it is to get mar--
ried in France " — especially if one of the pair be a
foreigner. A certificate of baptism is required,
together with that of the father and mother's mar-
riage ; that of burial, too, if dead ; and a written
consent of grandfather and grandmother, if the
latter are alive and the parents dead. The names
of the parties are then put up on the door of the
Mairie for eleven days.

To return, the bridegroom has to buy the ring,
that plain gold circlet which is to remain a pledge

Marriage, 99

of an indissoluble union. This should be thick,
made of fine gold, and of good workmanship, fitted
to endure constant, every-day wear, for the wedding
ring should never be drawn off the finger after it has
been placed there on the wedding day. It is usual
to present the bride with some handsome piece of
jewellery, such as a necklet or brooch, which she
wears for the first time on her bridal day. The
bridesmaids also generally receive a gift from the
bridegroom, lockets, fans, or rings, and these are all
alike given as remembrances of the day and in
acknowledgment of their services. The bride-
groom presents the bride and her maids with their
bouquets. Such are the onerous duties of the
gentleman.

And now as to the guests to be invited. The
circle of acquaintance is ever widening, but a line
must be drawn which will shut out many. A custom
has arisen for the parents of the bride-elect to invite
all friends, who are not asked as guests, to witness
the ceremony. [Seepage 59.] Everybody is glad to
" haste to a wedding," but only relations and one
or two old friends should be invited to the actual
festivity. The father and mother of the bridegroom
ought to be treated as the chief guests throughout,
and special attention should be paid to all the
members of his family. They should stay in the
house, as also should the bridesmaids.

The whirl and bustle of the day, or we might say
days, before a wedding is not equalled on any other
occasion. Everybody is in such a state of excite-
ment that an uninitiated spectator might imagine
that the whole household, and not one member
merely, was going to be married. Apart from the
arrangement of the room in which the refection is
G 2

loo Good Society.

to be, the trying-on of dresses, and the packing of
the bride-elect*s robes, there are the presents to
distract the attention, and these have to be arranged
for exhibition. It is now customary for the bride's
mother to issue cards for an " At Home '* on the
afternoon previous to the wedding day, that friends
and acquaintances who are not invited to the
morrow's ceremony may see the presents and
bid good-bye to the bride.

The guests who have been invited to stay in the
house arrive some time during the previous day.
The bridegroom and his **best man" also make
their appearance, but are only guests for the even-
ing, as it is not customary for them to remain in
the house of the bride's father the night before the
wedding. There is usually a dinner-party, and
sometimes this evening is chosen for the signing of
the marriage settlements. With what anxiety is the
weather watched — that great adjunct or drawback
to every festivity ! Well, whether fog, rain, thunder,
or sunshine prevail, the ceremony must take place,
and within a circumscribed time too. People creep
as near to the end of this prescribed time as they
possibly can, until sometimes it is quite painful as
well as exciting to witness the race between parson
and clock. The law is very strict on this question
of time, and severe indeed is the punishment if its
bounds are overstepped. Hear its stern order to
the officiating priest — ** The rite of marriage is to
be performed between the prescribed hours, upon
pain of suspension and felony with fourteen years'
transportation."

Until a recent date the hours apportioned for the
celebration of the rite of marriage were from eight
a.m. to the hour of noon. A welcome extension of

Marriage, loi

time has lately been granted, and now the ceremony
may take place at any time between eight a.m. and
three p.m. These added hours have altered the
home arrangements in some respects. The break-
fast banquet is being gradually banished, and its
place is often taken by an elaborate afternoon tea
at four o'clock. Half-past two o'clock is now the
fashionable hour for weddings to take place.

The bride usually breakfasts in her own room,
and. meets the bridegroom for the first time that day
at the altar, where he, with his " best man," should
be waiting to receive her. All contretemps on these
occasions are particularly awkward and uncomfort-
able, so we would impress the duty of punctuality
on every one concerned. The guests drive first to
the church, and take their seats in the chancel.
The bridesmaids follow, and take up their position
at the church door. The bridegroom is mean-
while waiting at the altar, supported by the
" best man." A murmur and hum heard outside
tell that the principal personage of the day is
coming. The bridesmaids form an avenue ; the
bride, leaning on the arm of her father or guardian,
passes through, the bridesmaids close in, and the
procession moves up the aisle. The bride stands
on the left hand of the bridegroom, with her chief
maid of honour near her, ready to take bouquet and
gloves when the time arrives for putting on the
ring.

Our newly-wedded grandmothers were heartily
kissed, as soon as the service was concluded, by
their husband and relatives, new and old. Our
mothers were more prudish, and waited for the
seclusion of the vestry before offering their fair
cheeks ; their daughters have abolished the

io2 Good Societw

ceremony altogether. Our grandfathers were
adorned with huge rosettes which they called
"true-love knots," made of various coloured rib-
bons, carnation and white, gold and silver ; these
they wore on their hats, both on their nuptial
day and for several weeks after. Our fathers wore
smaller ones of white pinned on the breast of their
coats, which they called *^ favours." Their sons do
not exhibit these decorations, which only appear
on servants in these days.

Altogether, not so much stir is now made at a
wedding. Even the sending of cards to friends has
been abandoned.

In the country, a bride's first appearance in a
church is taken as a sign that she is " At Home."
The old custom of offering wine- to visitors on the
occasion of their first call upon the bride is now no
longer observed in either town or country. Small
pieces of bridecake and tea are offered.

At the conclusion of the service the bride 'and
bridegroom proceed first to the vestry, where the
register has to be filled in by the clergyman, and
signed by the newly-married pair, together with two
or three witnesses, the principal bridesmaid and
** best man " being generally the attesting parties ;
upon the latter also devolves the duty of dis-
tributing the fees.

The ceremonial of the Church of England has
alone been selected as an example, and though
there are other ways of performing this rite used
by other denominations, the social usages are in
all cases the same. The happy couple leave the
church first, followed soon after by the bride's
mother, in order that she may be at home to
receive the guests, who return in the order in

Marriage, loj

which they went. As they arrive they are ushered
into the drawing-room, when they shake hands with
the bride and bridegroom, and offer them their
congratulations, and then generally turn their at-
tention to the presents, which should be exhibited
on tables set apart for this special use. The formal
repast, or informal tea, whichever may have been
decided upon, takes place about half an hour after
the return from church.

In these modern times the bride sometimes does
not appear at the formal banquet. Such retire-
ment on her part always causes disappointment to
the guests. If she is present, the newly-married
pair sit side by side. If the table be a long
one, they are placed on one side ; if of the horse-
shoe shape, which is considerably the best, they are
at the apex. The mother of the bride occupies
the seat on the bridegroom's right hand, the father
of the bride that on her left hand. The brides-
maids are seated immediately opposite. The
tedious custom of proposing a series of toasts at a
wedding breakfast has been suppressed by the
common-sense of modern times ; and even the
breakfast itself now often is superseded by after-
noon tea and light refreshments, especially
when the wedding takes place at the fashionable
and commodious hour of half-past two in the
afternoon. It is the bride's duty to cut the cake.
Of course an incision should previously be made.
A knife is handed to her, which she puts in the
cleft, and succeeds in getting a slice on to a plate.
This is cut into small pieces and handed round,
and everybody is expected to partake.

At the conclusion of the repast the bride retires
to her room to change her dress and don her

164 Good Society.

travelling costume. The hour of departure is al-
ways a trying one. Charles Lamb, in describing a
wedding, says : — " I trembled for the hour which at
length approached, when, after a protracted break-
fast of three hours — if stores of cold fowls, tongues,
botargoes, fruits, wines, and cordials can deserve
so meagre an appellation — the coach was an-
nounced which was to carry off the bride and
bridegroom. The chief performers in the morning
pageant vanished, we idly bent our eyes upon one
another. No one knew whether to take their leave
or stay.'* No mention is here made of throwing
old shoes, though it is a custom which has been
long established, and one which royalty does not
disdain to use at the present day. It is said to
have been a symbol of renunciation, on the part
of the bride's father, of all authority and dominion
over her. Now it is merely regarded as wishing
good luck, and a vent for the feelings consequent
on separation; as is also rice, which is now fre-
quently showered in great profusion over the
couple. Those guests who are not staying in
the house, or who are not, strictly speaking,
part of the wedding party, should take their
leave directly after the departure of the happy
couple. It is rather a tax upon the entertainers
to provide amusements and keep the spirits
of the party from flagging throughout this long,
long day. The wisest thing to do is to send all
the young people for a drive. Lawn-tennis is
rather a fatiguing pastime after a wedding, and it
keeps the guests without change of scene all day ;
nevertheless there are enthusiasts who prefer a
game of this description to the more passive plea-
sure of a drive. It is well on these occasions to keep

Marriage, 105

all the young people together as much as possible.
The elder ones are glad to rest in their rooms, or
discuss the events of the day among themselves in
desultory chit-chat, and thus spend the hours until
dinner, at which all the visitors collect again.

Later in the evening a ball or evening party is
often given in honour of the event, and to this
entertainment as many people should be invited as
possible, if it is to pass off with klat ; for, from our
experience, those who have been in a state of ex-
citement during so many hours cannot keep up
their spirits and those of their home guests unless
they have the help of a fresh and merry company.

CHAPTER VIII.

HOUSEHOLD APPOINTMENTS.

Immense Number and Variety of Household Appointments—
A Good Manager — Styles proper for the different Rooms,
Breakfast, Dining, and Drawing Rooms— Against " Best
Rooms *' — Temperature of Rooms — Laying the Table —
List of Requisites for Entertaining Twelve People.

' ' I often wish'd that I had clear
For life six hundred pounds a year,
A handsome house to lodge a friend,
A river at my garden's end." Swift.

The above desire will be regarded as a particularly
modest one in these ambitious days. When a
similar wish is breathed in this nineteenth century,
we fear that the word " thousands " stands some-
times where " hundreds " does in the original.

With the rapid strides of civilisation and refine-
ment comes the love of luxury and the desire for
means to gratify it. Then, too, temptations abound
on every side. Invention has multiplied to a
wonderful extent all the supposed requirements of
a household, and art has adorned with grace and
elegance all the commonplace routine of life. To
furnish a house, what a task — what a pleasant as
well as bewildering task, bewildering because of the
great variety offered for choice.

Household Appointments, 107

What a number of things are now considered
absolutely requisite that were undreamt of a few
years ago ! All the "appointments" add materially
to the cares of the housekeeper, and though we are
told that to the ladies of the seventeenth century the
superintendence of their household was a labour of
great extent and responsibility, owing to the osten-
tatious display made at the frequent banquets, still
we say the task of one's housekeeper in the present
day is no light one. The varied minutiae which
encumber every department require the attention
of the mistress, however good and well trained her
servants may be, unless she can afford to have a
housekeeper. In a properly-conducted household
the machinery will be well looked after, and always
work out of sight, and this applies to households
of every size. It is quite a mistake to suppose
that a large staff of servants is necessary for com-
fort and perfect service. In a small house it often
happens that the servants only get in one another's
way. The whole matter lies in the proper manage-
ment of the forces under command. " Order and
method are gifts, as beauty and genius are. No
two things differ more than hurry and dispatch.
Hurry is the sign of a weak mind, and dispatch
that of a strong one." * A good manager will
never make an ostentatious display of her duties.

Though not required, as her great-grandmothers
were, to attend to the culinary department in
person, the lady of the house will, from her own
stock of knowledge, detect "the why and the
wherefore " of any little mischance or failure com-
mitted by cook, housemaid, or footman. This fault

* Colton.

io8 Good Society,

or error will not be corrected or spoken of in
company, but afterwards, when no one is by, the
mistress will speak of what has gone wrong.

If she presides over a large establishment, she
will sanction no great parade of wealth ; if over a
small one, let her remember that to manage a little
well is a great merit. "He is a good wagoner that
can turn in a little room."

It is not my intention to specify the particulars
of the furniture of each room, but simply to say
what their general appearance should be. Each
apartment should present a distinctive feature, and
that of course a comfortable and pleasing one — in
fact, a house should be so furnished that each room
in which we sit should in turn appear to us to be,
for the time being, the pleasantest room in the
place. The interior should match the exterior in
style and character. Massive old-fashioned furni-
ture, however costly, will never look well in a
modern villa. Neither will new-fashioned appoint-
ments look so well in an old house ; but this last is
not so much to be avoided as the former. Taste,
we are told, is

-a discerning sense

Of decent and sublime, with quick disgust

From things deformed or disarranged." AkensiJe,

The morning-room should be cheerful and sun-
shiny, and wear a domestic, cosy look. It is not
fitted up with any particular style of furniture. The
curtains and covers will be of some kind of small-
patterned chintz or cretonne, with a carpet to
match. Nothing very grand or very new should
find its way into this apartment — nothing stiff or
formal Tables here and there, and chairs of

Household Appointments, 109

different sorts and sizes, a stand with plants, a
small piano, a low book-case — these are the
principal features in a room of this description, a
general tidy dtshabille pervading the whole.

The fittings and furniture of the dining-room
must be quiet and substantial, but not too
elaborate. The most prominent feature is the
sideboard. The dining-table used to rank high in
beauty and finish, but now that is little cared for ;
and, provided the top be a broad one, it may be
of white or any kind of wood, in these degenerate
days when the cloth is never removed for dessert.

The carpet and drapery of this room should be
dark, yet warm and bright-looking, and there must
be no crowd of ornaments save pictures, either
oil paintings or engravings — "a room hung with
pictures is a room hung with thoughts."

The library presents generally a sombre aspect ;
its walls are lined with lofty book-shelves, and two
or three tables for the purposes of holding writing
materials, pamphlets, and papers, are put in con-
venient positions.

And now we enter the room which, though most
persons try their best, so few succeed in furnishing
and arranging tastefully ; for, after all, the arrange-
ment of the furniture adds greatly to or takes away
from the appearance of a drawing-room. This is, par
excellence^ the lady's room — unless the house is large
enough to afford her a boudoir — and the character
of the lady herself may be told by inspecting that one
room. How very seldom we see the model drawing-
room ! No upholsterer's routine work should be
visible here in stiff suites of furniture (except in
case of a drawing-room reserved for special occa-
sions) ; elegant refinement should reign predominant,

no Good Society,

cheerfulness should go hand in hand with taste. Easy
chairs are here a sine qua non. There seems to be
a natural affinity between civilised beings and easy
chairs, for everybody secures one where possible ;
therefore let them predominate in the drawing-
room — some with high backs and some with low,
some with straight backs and some with round, in
all nooks and corners. Tables must be placed
here, there, and everywhere, and yet not seem in
the way; flowers or plants in vases, scattered
about; and a variety of ornaments, simple or
costly, as the case may be, but not too great
a crowd. But the drawing-room will not be
complete, nor yet have its properly comfortable
look about it, unless there are plenty of books to
be found on the tables, and these should be read-
able and entertaining volumes of prose and poetry,
illustrated works, and magazines, which will not
only serve their original purpose, but also supply
subjects for conversation at all times, and more
especially during that mauvais quart d^heure which
precedes a dinner.

The greatest charm in such a room is, that it
impresses you with the feeling that it is a resort con-
stantly occupied, used, and enjoyed by the lady of
the house. There is something indefinable, which
chills and depresses one, on entering a room only
used on very state occasions — a room that is just in-
habited while receiving visitors ; a room where the
fire-irons are arranged in stiff angles ; where every
appliance is in formal array, and evidently never ex-
ercised in daily wear ; where the tables are geomet-
rically studded with smartly-bound unread volumes,
and the prim couch and stiff chairs look as if they
were meant for anything but to be sat upon.

Household Appointments, hi

Family comfort and enjoyment lie dead in a room
of this description. This idea, once so prevalent,
of having a "best room" is less general nowadays.
It is a piece of folly and bad taste which has often
been decried. A writer to the Connoisseur com-
plains : " I have elegant apartments, but am afraid
to enter them. All the furniture, except when
we have company, is done up in paper; it is so
genteel that we of the household must not use it
commonly, which I consider a ridiculous absurdity
and a great hardship."

To ensure comfort in this and all rooms, care
should be taken that they are equably heated,
neither too hot nor too cold— so that one is not
roasted by the fire on one side and frozen by a cold
draught of air on the other. Francis, sometime
Emperor of Austria, said that it required as much
talent to warm a room as to govern a kingdom.
Of course part of that talent must be supplied by
the architect; but judicious management is also
required to preserve the equability; and a room
full of people will become irrevocably depressed
and glum when they are half-stifled with heat or
shivering with cold.

In commencing housekeeping, novices are often
in a difficulty how to ascertain the number of thingt?
requisite — the amount of silver, glass, and china
necessary for dinner-parties, for instance. I there-
fore append a list, supposing twelve to be the
greatest number of guests invited ; of course it is
easy to calculate how many more sets would be
required should the number of guests be increased,
or to leave out many articles, such as ice-plates and
spoons, &c., which might be considered super-
flgities in some households. Before writing down

112 Good Society,

the list, I must impress on young housekeepers the
fact — and it is one that needs remembering — that,
however costly and varied the viands, no dinner-
table will ever look well unless neatness and refine-
ment are displayed in the minor details. Very
much depends on there being a fine white linen
damask cloth, without crease or crumple, placed
very exactly on the table. You cannot be too
formal or too prim in laying out a table. The glass
must be cut (not clumsy moulded glass), without
fleck or flaw, bright and clear ; the silver clean and
polished to its utmost extent ; and a clever waiter
or neat-handed waitress. Neat and tidy servants
are essential to the credit of a household ; dirty and
slovenly attendants stamp it with vulgarity. " The
black battle-stain on a soldier's face is not vulgar,
but the dirty face of a housemaid is," says Ruskin,

LIST OF TABLE FURNITURE NECESSARY FOR ENTER-
TAINING A PARTY OF TWELVE.

Four dozen forks (the medium size is now used),
one dozen table spoons, three dozen dessert,
one dozen teaspoons, two gravy spoons, six sauce
ladles, one dozen fish knives and forks, eight or
twelve salts and spoons, eighteen dessert knives
and forks, soup ladle, fish slice, asparagus tongs,
twelve ice spoons, grape scissors, six gilt spoons
for dessert dishes.

Glass. — Two dozen tumblers, one dozen port
glasses, two dozen sherry, one dozen hock, two
dozen claret, one dozen champagne, one dozen
finger-glasses, one dozen ice plates, glass jug and two
goblets, six carafes with tumblers to match, four

Household Appointments, 113

decanters, claret-jug, ice-pail and tongs, eighteen
dessert plates and six dishes.

Table Linen. — Twelve table-cloths (six ordinary
size and six larger), six long slips and six short
ones for sides and ends of table, two dozen dinner
napkins to match dinner cloths in pattern, six long
narrow cloths for sideboard, six breakfast cloths,
one dozen breakfast napkins, one dozen fish
napkins, one dozen napkins for pastry and cheese,
and two dozen d'oyleys.

H

CHAPTER IX.

BREAKFASTS.

Eating and Drinking — Breakfasts in particular — Breakfasts in
the Olden Time — Breakfasts of the Present Day — How to
set the Table, and what to put on it — Wedding Breakfast —
Hunt and Sportsmen's Breakfast — Breakfast Dishes for the
Different Seasons. .

' ' And then to breakfast with
What appetite you have."

''Richard I Hr

Eating and drinking are, as we well know, an
absolute necessity if we desire to keep life within
us and these crazy frames of ours together. We
are told repeatedly to "eat to live, and not live
to eat" — an excellent precept, and one which we
should do well to keep in mind if we wish for length
of days. It has been calculated that, presuming a
man has four meals a day regularly, he partakes
during the year of 1,460 repasts ; and that if he
lives to the age of sixty-five years he will have con-
sumed a flock of 350 sheep, and those for dinner
alone, and above thirty tons of liquids and solids.
An alarming computation truly ; but fuel must be
supplied if the machinery is to be kept going.
" Venter proecepta non audit : poscit : appellate
Non est tatnen tnolestus creditor: parvo dimittitur^

Breakfasts. 115

St modo das illi quod debes^ non quod potest' says
Seneca (The stomach listens to no precepts : it
begs and clamours. And yet it is not an obdurate
creditor; it is dismissed with a small payment, if
only you give it what you oive^ and not as much as
you can).

This chapter will be devoted to the subject of
breakfasts alone; the other meals will be treated
each in their order.

Breakfast is always a pleasant meal, both in
winter and summer, spring and autumn; each
season brings its particular enjoyment. Who will
not join with the writer who says "that there is a
delightful mixture of the lively and the snug in
coming into one's breakfast-room of a cold morning
and seeing everything prepared for us — a blazing
grate (one of the first requisites for enjoyment at
that period of the day and season is a good fire), a
clean table-cloth and tea-things, together with
tempting viands spread thereon? And if we be
alone, is it not certainly a delicious thing to resume
an entertaining book at a particularly interesting
passage, with a hot cup of tea at one's elbow, and
a piece of buttered toast in one's hand ? The first
look at the page, accompanied by a co- existent bite
of the toast, comes under the head of intensities,"
says this enthusiast And then in summer to enter
a sunny, cheerful room (a breakfast-room should,
if possible, be so situated as to catch the early rays
of the sun), with its wide-open window, through
which enters the cool, fresh morning air, the scent
of flowers and the song of the birds ; the table
prettily decked with buds and blossoms ; luscious,
tempting fruit lying perdu in nests of green leaves;
crisp rolls and golden butter, together with the
H 2

ii6 Good Society,

more substantial dishes, which look quite able to
stand a vigorous attack ! How cosy, and nice, and
enjoyable all this is ! and then added to these
external sources of pleasure there is that most power-
ful spring of happiness of all, the innate sense of
freshness and vigour which most people feel at that
hour of the day, when a night's rest has refreshed
tired bodies and soothed weary minds. Yes,
whether we join the gathering round our table one
of many, or sit down to it a solitary bachelor or a
secluded old maid, the breakfast hour is a pleasant
one. Sydney Smith liked breakfast parties, because,
he said, no one was conceited before one o'clock in
the day. But in these modern times the hours creep
on later and later, and a meal at four p.m. is called
a "breakfast." We trust that those who partake
have in reality broken their fast at a much earlier
hour, and that the term is merely a misnomer.

"As soon as Phoebus' rays inspect us,
First, sir, I read, and then to breakfast.''

That was the old custom, and there is a descrip-
tion in an old book of two noblemen who, says
the chronicler, " rose with the sun, as was the
custom ; and after they had washed, dressed, and
prayed, an attendant placed before them a very
large pasty, upon a white napkin, and brought them
wine, then said to them in faire words, like a man
of sense : * Sirs, you shall eat if it please you, for
eating early in the morning brings great health.' "
Quite a primitive mode of breakfasting, but what was
then usual. The viands and beverages placed on
the tables of our ancestors came under the desig-
nation of " plain plenty " ; no luxuries, no variety of
dishes appeared on their boards, and the following

Breakfasts, 117

is a fair sample of an ordinary breakfast : " My lord
has on his table at seven o'clock " (notice the hour
is creeping nearer to noon) " a quart of beer and
wine, two pieces of salt fish, six red herrings and
four white ones, and on flesh days half a chine of
beef or mutton boiled." Beef and brawn, herrings
and sprats, seem to have been the staple dishes j
and doubtless these heavy meals were very hastily
dispatched by the good old English gentlemen.
They had no letters to read, no newspapers to
beguile them. Booted and spurred, equipped for
the chase, they quaffed their cups of malmsey or
beer, cut their hunches of bread and meat in the
manner of the modern ploughboy, and, having
eaten heartily and hastily, would ride away for the
day through wood and field, or over down and
fell. The fragant odour of cofiee had not been
inhaled by them, and they were total strangers to
the great beverage of our time — tea ; for not until
the close of the seventeenth century did the
berry from Mocha and the leaves from China
make their appearance on English breakfast tables ;
and the circumstance of a young man at Oxford
drinking coffee is recorded as one worthy of re-
membrance.

But enough now of the days that are past. Let
us turn to those which are before us ; and at the
risk of being deemed partial, I must say that our
breakfast tables are more inviting and present a
more elegant appearance than did those of our
more barbarous, if more chivalrous, ancestors.
Delicate and refined habits of eating have replaced
the coarse feeding of the Middle Ages.

The breakfast table is very commonly a round one,
but if the dining room is used, as is often the case

ii8 Good Society.

when there is a large party of guests, the mistress of
the house often occupies the seat at table taken by the
master at dinner. Before her are the tea and coffee
equipage ; the cups and saucers close at hand ; next,
the tea and coffee pots, sugar basin, cream jug, &c.
In the centre of the table there should be a vase of
flowers ; in summer a china bowl of freshly-gathered
roses, or a bunch of wild flowers, is a pretty orna-
ment; later in the year a deep plate filled with
moss, and studded with asters, dahlias, or chrysan-
themums, has a good effect ; at other seasons a
fresh green fern — anything which adds brightness
and grace to the table, but at the same time is not
stiff" and formal. The arrangement of flowers for
a breakfast table should never be so studied or
formal as that for a dinner table, nor even as the
drawing-room bouquets. They should possess the
distinctive feature of elegant negligence and sim-
plicity. Fruits flank the flowers, and are placed
on dishes which match the tea service. Then the
various eatables — such as eggs, potted meats, fish,
&c. — are placed up and down the table, and are
interspersed with racks of dry toast, hot rolls, tea-
cakes, and muflfins, small loaves of brow^n and white
bread, and dainty pats of butter within the reach of
every one. The more substantial dishes — such as
hams, tongues, and pies — are usually placed on a
white cloth on the sideboard ; and at an ordinary
breakfast the gentlemen help themselves and the
ladies also. Fish is placed upon the table, and so
are the hot dishes, such as kidneys, mushrooms, or
fried bacon. Before each person is set a china
plate like the breakfast service, on which is placed a
napkin and a knife and fork beside it. This plate is
used for butter, bread, or toast. The plates for the

Breakfasts. 119

meats are placed in small piles before each dish on
the sideboard, so that at breakfast two plates are
used at the same time ; the smaller one is kept, the
other changed with each course. In France the
dejeHner used to be commenced with an egg. A
boiled egg. was placed before everybody, and every-
body ate a toiled t%g. Then the vegetables
are handed — asparagus — delicious sauce as an
accompaniment, or pommes de terre f rites. After
this hot fish, then meats, lastly fruits. The cups
and saucers are placed beside each person, and
not in formal array in front of the lady presiding,
and the teapot is passed round together with the
sugar and cream. There is one thing we may learn
with advantage from the French mode of serving
breakfast, and that is their liberal supply of plates.
They are not, as a rule, noted for being " nice " in
their ways, but they are worthy of imitation in this
particular respect by the good people at home,
who are generally inclined to be stingy and careful
with the supply of plates. Even in households
where "Marie'' is the sole domestic, and has
to fetch the water from the well, and clatter in her
wooden shoes from room to room of the large
chateau, performing her multifarious duties, she is
never excused nor does she try to evade the law of
clean plates. If one thing has touched an assiette^
another must not be put upon it, so that, with
the many courses at each meal, the afterwork which
devolves upon Marie would overwhelm with dis-
may an ordinary English kitchenmaid. Appended
are a series of dishes suitable for the different
seasons of the year.

What has been said hitherto applies to ordinary
breakfasts. Wedding breakfasts, dkjeHners h la

l2o Good Society,

fourchitte^ are conducted in rather a different manner.
They are of a more formal character than those we
have been describing, and have all the form and
ceremony of a dinner, both as regards waiting
and table decorations. As to the viands and
beverages, they are most varied, and are. a curious
combination of all the four meals. Soup is handed,
tea and coffee, claret and champagne — everything
on the table is cold, and all the dishes are very
much garnished and ornamented. The table itself
is set as for a dinner, in a formal, precise manner ;
rolls of bread in the napkins ; the knives and forks
on either side ; all the arrangements carried out in
the strictest way. Flowers and fruits are arranged
either in large groups or scattered about in tiny
bouquets and clusters, according to the prevailing
fashion. The chief centre is occupied by the
bride-cake (when the breakfast is to celebrate a
wedding), which is always an imposing structure,
and considered to be the ornament of the feast.
A collation of this description should consist of
cold game and poultry, hams, tongues, game pies,
savoury jellies, potted meats, and fish ; lobster
salads, creams, jellies, custards, candied fruits, or-
namental cakes, ices, &c. No trenchers of bread,
no homely tea-cakes or pats of butter are seen at
this kind of breakfast. The tout ensemble should
present as glittering a display as possible. Silver,
glass, and china should create a universal sparkle
and glitter. It should be —

" A table richly spread in regal mode,
With dishes piled, and meats of noblest sort
And savour.'

The hunt breakfast and sportsmen's breakfast
differ from either of those mentioned before. The

Breakfasts,

121

table is not decorated or ornamented ; all the space
is reserved for the dishes, which on these occasions
make the table groan, as people say. The Lan-
cashire motto should be adopted : " Plenty to look
at, plenty to eat, and plenty to leave/' No sweets
are placed on the table, only substantial food,
which is likely to fit those who partake for the
labour and toil of the day they are commencing.
Game pie is a standard dish on these occasions,
cold beef, devilled turkey, broiled ham, French
pies, &c. Cherry brandy is at hand for those who
choose that as their beverage, and tankards of
beer ; but huntsmen nowadays, as a rule, take tea
and coffee.

Spring.

Broiled trout.

Ox-palates.

Codfish cakes.

Marmalade.

Curried eggs.

Water-cresses.

Savoury omelette.

Potted char.

Pigeon pie.

Potted beef.

Ham.

Stewed kidneys.

Spiced beef.

Pommes de terre friles.

Sum

MER.

Broiled mackerel.

Devilled chicken.

Fried soles.

Pigeons in jelly.

Broiled whiting.

Strawberries and

raspberries

Buttered eggs.

Broiled ham.

Veal-cake.

Potted salmon.

Tongue.

Potted shrimps.

Beefsteak pie.

AUTI

JMN.

Broiled fresh herrings.

Fresh shrimps.

Collared eels.

Grapes.

Poached eggs.

Potted hare.

Grouse pie.

Potted lobster.

Cold roast fowl.

Toasted mushrooms.

Ham.

Broiled pheasant.

Rolled beef.

Reindeer-tongue.

122

Good Society.

Kippered haddock.

Bloaters.

Anchovy toast.

Sausages.

Broiled mutton chop.

Devilled turkey.

Pommes de terre frites.

Winter.

Prawns.
Stewed ox-tails.
Marmalade.

Melton pie.
Brawn.
Round of beet

CHAPTER X.

LUNCHEONS.

Luncheon — Manners at Table — What to place there, and how
to place it — Hot Luncheons— Cold Luncheons*

" When hungry thou stoodst staring like an oaf,
I sliced the luncheon from the barley loaf."

Gay,

Luncheon has been defined as an insult to one's
breakfast and an outrage to one's dinner. It is
clearly an interpolation of no very ancient date.
Three meals a day — breakfast, dinner, and supper
—were formerly considered as amply sufficient ;
but now two more have added themselves to the
list, and shouldered out to a great extent the old-
fashioned after-dinner tea and supper. Luncheon
is one of these extra " feeds " which has squeezed
itself firmly in, and now the half-hour devoted to
this meal is considered indispensable. We leave
it to the decision of the medical community
whether long abstinence or the too frequent sup-
plying of the inner man is the most deleterious
to health. Luncheons are fairly established in
most households. Sometimes they answer the
purpose of dinner, and then they require to be
more substantial, but still should only exhibit " an
elegant sugiciency."

124 Good Society,

There should be an absence of all formality
about an ordinary luncheon. Precedence is not
observed ; neither do the gentlemen take in the
ladies. The lady of the house leads the way,
followed by the others, and the gentlemen come in
a body after them. It is not customary for guests
feminine to doff their bonnets or out-of-door gar-
ments when invited to partake of this meal ; but
this latitude is not permitted to the lady presiding
at her own table, who must appear in indoor
morning dress.

The arrangement of the table is of a formal-
informal character, inasmuch as though there is not
the order and precision observed as at the dinner,
it yet has a style of its own, and one that does not
vary. Everything is placed upon the table at the
beginning, and (unless at a very large party, where
confusion would be the inevitable result) persons
help themselves and one another. Gentlemen wait
upon the ladies. Children, if there be any, are
looked upon as servitors for the occasion, and
often prove deft little waiters. At larger parties the
servant stays in the i:oom to hand the first course,
the vegetables and salad ; then removes the meats
from the table, draws the other dishes — sweets,
cheese, &c. — from the centre, and then leaves the
room. It is quite allowable to push on one side
the plate on which you have had tart or jelly
and take another before you with fruit or cheese.
An elegant disorder is perfectly distinct from a
vulgar confusion.

Luncheon in small families generally consists of
the cold meat, game, or poultry which remains
from the dinner of the previous day ; but nothing
should ever come to table exactly in the same form

Luncheons, 125

in which it has appeared before. The appearance
of the luncheon table depends very much on this
being duly remembered. To make the "cold
remains '* look well, they should be temptingly ar-
ranged and tastefully garnished. A fowl denuded
of its wings looks most uncomfortable on a table ;
whereas, how very different is the effect if its legs
are crossed one upon the other, and the ungainly
ankles ornamented with parsley ! The ragged and
untidy object is converted into a seemly dish.

Again, a dish of veal cutlets presents a much
more appetising look when they are reared against
a mound of mashed potatoes, with delicate rolls of
bacon lying at their feet. A salad is more present-
able and refreshing when prepared and mixed in a
bowl than when the huge lettuces are alone on one
dish, and the cucumber stretches its long length
on another, and the beetroot and hard-boiled egg
which should have garnished it are the one under-
ground and the other in its shell. The tottering
wall of jelly would look infinitely more comfortable
had it been broken down and its quivering pieces
put into glasses; and the fruit from last night's
dessert, if re-arranged on fresh leaves. All these
little niceties add wonderfully to the tout ensemble.
Flowers should grace the whole. At luncheon the
bread is not placed before each person as at
dinner, but the trencher with loaf is placed on
the table as at breakfast— only at luncheon a few
pieces are always cut beforehand, and the board is
handed round by the servant.

If a hot luncheon is required, soup may be
brought to table, together with fish cakes, hashed
mutton, minced chicken, veal cutlets, mutton
chops, roast fowls, or any entree, and light

126 Good Society,

puddings, but cold meats and sweets are generally
preferred. Of these any of the following may be
selected for the luncheon table : cold lamb, pigeon,
pork or beefsteak pies, pressed or roasted beef,
tongue, fowls (boiled or roasted), game, veal
patties, potted meats, lobsters, salad, fruit tarts,
light puddings, custard, stewed fruit, jelly, blanc-
mange, cheesecakes, tartlets, sponge or plum cake,
cheese, biscuits, butter, and fruits. The beverages
offered should be sherry, claret, claret cup, and
light beer.

CHAPTER XL

DINNERS

" The Dinner Question ** — Less Cost and more Care — The
Dinner Tables of the Last Ten Centuries — Good Cookery
— Good Waiters — Invitations : Whom to Invite — Dinner
en Famille and a la Russe — Carving — Table Appoint-
ments and Decorations — Arrival of Guests — Going in to
Dinner — The Dinner — Wines — The Dessert — Retirement
of the Ladies — Coffee— Tea — Departure.

• ' Now good digestion wait on appetite,
And health on both." " Macbeth:

" Since Eve ate apples, much depends on dinner."

Byron,

The dinner question is one which has occupied
the thoughts and been the serious study of man-
kind for many generations. It is curious to trace
the different phases through which the art of dining
has passed, during the ages in which we have any
account of this king of meals, from the rude and
rough manner in which the Anglo-Saxon dined
down to the superb banquet of the present day.
We have toiled and reflected — we still ponder the
question — may it not be in consequence of our
anxiety to benefit ourselves and mankind in this
respect that we have, as Darwin says, " made our-
selves tailless and hairless, and multiplied folds to
our brain ? " Each generation thinks that it has

128 Good Society.

made a step in advance of the previous one. The
globe has been ransacked from " China to Peru '*
for delicacies, novelties, and varieties of comestibles
and beverages. Money can now command meats,
vegetables, and fruits at any and every season of
the year, and every wine that can gladden the
heart of man. But sumptuous viands and rare
wines alone will not ensure an enjoyable dinner ;
and indeed their importance is greatly over-esti-
mated by the majority of dinner-givers. Less cost
and more taste, together with more care in what
are erroneously considered to be minor details, is
what is desirable. Do the guests feel any the
better, or enjoy their entertainment any the more,
for eating gold ? Asparagus at a shilling a stalk,
peaches ten shillings apiece, and strawberries at
two guineas a basket, serve as things to be boasted
of by the purchaser ; but we doubt if vegetables
and fruit preternaturally forced are real luxuries.
Even the hundred-guinea dish of M. Soyer is a
thing more to talk about than to enjoy. Good
company, good waiting, and good cookery are the
secrets of success ; and there are secrets hidden in
each one of these essentials, simple as they appear
to be, which only a host and hostess here and there
have the penetration to discover. Some stumble
on the rock of ostentatious display ; others make
the mistake of inviting too large a number of
guests — a thing which is perfectly intolerable at a
dinner party. This host thinks only of the wine he
can set before his company ; that hostess of the
distinguished " lions " whom she can secure to sit
at her table ; and so real comfort is too seldom
studied. These remarks apply just as much to a
dinner en famille as to one a la Rnsse,

Dinners, 129

Before going into further details, let us in a few
words review the dinner tables of the last ten cen-
turies. The account of a dinner in very early
times must of necessity be a scanty one, m that
there would in the nature of things be but little to
describe. When the dinner hour arrived, boards
were brought into the hall and placed upon tres-
tles, on whose rough surface a few plates were set,
by no means equal in number to the diners, each
of whom cut his food with the knife which he car-
ried about with him for hunting purposes. When
the company were seated, the meats were brought
from the kitchen on the spit (so we will conclude
they did not know of gravies) ; and such were the
lawless manners of the time that the joints had to
be guarded in their transit from the kitchen to the
hall by ushers, who with their rpds beat oiT the
"letchers" when they attempted to seize the
dinner from the cooks.

The appointments of the Normans were more
numerous and various. As to the quality of the
food, that depends upon taste. When dinner
was announced, the guests advanced into the
hall, led ceremoniously by two matires iPhdtel,
who showed them their places and served them
with water to wash their hands. The tables were
spread with cloths, and there were goblets and
cups, saltcellars and spoons. The dishes were
brought in by valets, led by two esquires. A "placer"
took them from the valets and arranged them on
the table. The meats were eaten from large slices
of bread, which were then thrown into a vessel.
After this course the table-cloths were changed
and the sweets came in. Lastly, the dessert ap-
peared, which consisted of cheese and fruits, and the
I

130 Good Society.

repast was terminated by a draught of hippocras.
Although the ceremony observed in the serving of
the viands was so extreme, I doubt whether the
culinary department would have met with our ap-
probation. Garlic was the favourite seasoning,
and flavoured indiscriminately "fish, flesh, and
fowl" We select one bill of fare for the reader's
consideration —

" First course : Boar's head enarmed, and bruce
for pottage ; beef, mutton, pestles of pork, swan,
roasted rabbit, tart.

" Second course : Drope and rose for pottage ;
mallard, pheasant, chickens farsed and roasted,
malachis baked.

"Third course: Conigs in gravy and hare in
bras^, teals roasted, woodcocks, snipes, raffyolys
baked, flampoyntes."

And to describe one or two of these dishes :
" Bruce '* consisted of portions of pig mixed with
vegetables and spices. " Drope,*' of almonds and
onions fried in "fresh grease." " Flampoyntes" were
made of pork, cheese, sugar, and pepper, fried in
the same tempting liquid. A Raffyoly was a
sort of patty. Pork in some form or other was
a very favourite dish. Now we dream as little
of placing it on our tables (except they are very
homely ones) as do the Jews. Charles Lamb's
rhapsody on roast pig stirs few hearts now-a-days.
As we read on, we find that luxuries increase and
banquets become more costly. Indeed, one is
recorded the menu of which, though arranged for a
great state occasion (the installation of an arch-
bishop), is on such a gigantic scale that it would, I
think, make even the great Gunter look aghast
Space forbids us giving more than a few of the

Dinners. 131

items. 400 swans, 2,000 pigs, 4,000 pigeons, 500
stags, 104 peacocks, 4,000 cold venison pasties,
1,500 hot ditto, 8 seals, 4 porpoises, 1,000 dishes
of jelly, &c. &c. &c.

The confectionery of this period was very deli-
cate and elaborate. After each course came a sub-
tility— that is, representations in raised pastry of
castles, giants, saints, ladies, and animals, upon
which legends and coat armour were painted in
their proper colours.

The habit of profuse and luxurious living seems to
have declined during the sixteenth and seventeenth
centuries. In Henry VII.'s day the tables, as a rule,
were served in great confusion ; no nicety or order
was observed. The art of cookery degenerated,
and the manners were so rough, that often when an
attractive dish made its appearance the guests dis-
played their greediness by scrambling for its con-
tents. It was common, too, for gentlemen to wear
their hats at this meal. Pepys remarks — "Home
to bed, having got a strange cold by flinging off my
hat for dinner.'* Desserts were discontinued, so
that altogether the meals of this period were the
reverse of comfortable.

Once more the art of dining became a subject
of study, as the chronicles of the eighteenth century
testify. One after another, luxuries of various
kinds were introduced. Forks became general ;
and crowding after, that excellent invention, a host
of etceteras, without which at the present day a
dinner table is not considered complete ; so that
in this nineteenth century almost as much consider-
ation and thought is required to lay a table for a
dinner as to place and arrange an army on a field
of battle.
I 2

132 Good Society,

Having now arrived at our own times, let us stay
there until the end of the chapter. Good cookery,
good company, and good waiting have been laid
down as the three essentials for a comfortable dinner.
With reference to the first, a good household book —
which this does not pretend to be — will be the best
guide, together with the help afforded by the list of
menus given at the end of this section ; but there
are one or two points to be noticed which are
strictly within our province. The first is the error
which many fall into of thinking too much about
the principal dishes, and paying too little attention
to their accompaniments. The French say — " A
delicious sauce will cause you to eat an elephant."
They are fully aware of the value of these little de-
tails, which we English are too apt to count of small
importance. Sauces and gravies hold a high posi-
tion. Then, again, the soup is so often a failure
at our dinners ; and yet, being the first thing par-
taken of, one would think it desirable to give the
guest a good impression to start with. Cest la
soupe qui fait le soldat is a favourite proverb of our
neighbours, who also excel in this branch of the
culinary art.

The second point is, not to have too many dishes
attached to each course. Ample choice, so as to
allow for the differences of taste, is necessary, but
there should be a limit. One man cannot partake
of fifty different dishes at the same meal. The
perpetual repetition of ** No, thank you," to the
continuous stream of dishes handed to you be-
comes wearisome, besides which it often happens
that in attempting too great a variety we run the
risk of many failures. A " little dinner," at which
each dish of its kind is perfect, is a far greater

£>INNERS. 133

success than a "large one" indifferently cooked
and served.

And now a word about the attendants, upon
whom depends so much.

Dexterity, rapidity, and, above everything else,
quietness^ added to a thorough knowledge of his
duties, form the essential requisites of a good
waiter. In this department, as in others, practice
alone makes perfect. How, then, is it possible for
a man who has been employed in quite a different
capacity to acquit himself well in this position ?
And yet this is frequently attempted ; but it is really
always a mistake to do so. It is considered the
" correct thing " to have only men to serve, and so
some people, when they have more persons to dinner
than their one indoor man-servant can wait upon,
press their out-of-door men into the service; but
hands that have been accustomed to handle the
spade and besom, to grooming horses, and what not,
have not the delicacy of touch necessary for the
handling of glass and silver. The more anxious the
novice is, the more awkward and noisy will he be.

This love of show to the entire exclusion of com-
fort is satirised by a writer of the last century — one
of that band of Essayists who did their utmost to
unmask the folly of those around them. It is sup-
posed to be the lament of a hiisband whose wife
loved ostentation, and strove to appear the mistress
of a grander establishment than she in reality pos-
sessed. A lady of title had sent word to say that
she intended coming to see them on a certain day,
and the host thus describes what ensued. *' It
would," he says, " tire you to enumerate the various
shifts that were made, by purchasing, borrow-
ing, &c., to furnish out a dinner suitable for the

134 Good Society,

occasion ; nor was there less ado in making ourselves
and our attendants fit to appear before such com-
pany. My gardener, who had been accustomed to
serve in many capacities, had his head cropped,
curled, and powdered for the part of butler; one
of the best-looking ploughboys had a yellow cape
clapped to his Sunday coat, to make him pass for
a servant in livery. During the progress of the
entertainment there were several embarrassments,
which might appear ridiculous in description,
but were matters of serious distress to us. Soup
was spilled, dishes were overturned, and glasses
broken by the awkwardness of our attendants, and
things were not a bit mended by my wife's soli-
citude to correct them." Does not our own private
and uncomfortable experience vouch for the truth
of this description ? Have we ourselves not felt on
one occasion a dish of oysters a la creme gliding
down the back of our best dress suit, and on
another had our risible faculties excited and our
good manners put to the test at the same time by
seeing a young waiter lying prone on the floor, sur-
rounded on all sides by rolls of bread ? And have
not you, my readers, had your elbows knocked,
your heads bumped, by clumsy louts ? Have not
your ears been annoyed by the noisy clatter of
plates, the jingle of glasses, and that most un-
pleasant sound, the rattling of knives and forks ?

Therefore, we gather that no greater mistake can
be made than to make up the quantum of waiters
from men who are not accustomed to the work. If
the party be a small one, do not disdain the help of
a " neat-handed Phyllis,'* or else carefully limit the
number of your guests in proportion to that of your
in-door men-servants. One man by himself cannot

iDlNNERS, 135

Wait well on more than six people. If the dinner is
a state affair, then, of course, a waitress would look
out of place in the room ; but in the country, friends
often oblige each other by the loan of their servants
at these times, and in a town it is easy to hire men
who are proficients in this line.

The invitations are issued in the name of the
gentleman and lady, a fortnight or three weeks
beforehand. They should be answered imme-
diately, and, if accepted, the engagement should
on no account be broken. This is a very strict
rule with regard to dinner parties, as it will easily
be seen that the non-arrival of an expected guest
would cause confusion and disarrangement of
plans.

The hour is generally from seven-thirty o'clock
to eight-thirty— rather a change from the olden
dinner hours, which were nine or ten in the morn-
ing. There is an old saying which thus defines the
division of the domestic day —

•' Lever k cinq, diner k neuf ;
Souper k cinq — coucher k neuf; "

which shows that we have got very far in advance
of or behind our progenitors.

Whom to invite is a consideration which requires
the exercise of judgment and discretion. Dinners
are generally looked upon as entertainments for
married people, but it is advisable to have a few
young men and maidens also. Then the people
whom you invite should be of the same standing in
society. They need not necessarily be friends, or
all of the same absolute rank ; but as at a dinner
people come into closer contact one with the other
than at a dance or any other kind of party, those

136 Good Society.

only should be invited to meet one another who
move in the same class of circles.

The talking powers of your friends have also to
be considered. All the quiet people must not
be asked together on one occasion, and all the
talkative, noisy people on another. They must
be cleverly mingled together, so that they will
smoothly amalgamate both as a whole, and also
one with another when placed side by side round
the festive board. Real talkers have been desig-
nated as those '* who have fresh ideas, and plenty
of warm words to clothe them in." These invalu-
able people are unfortunately but rarely to be met
with, but we can always find one at least among
our acquaintance who has that happy effrontery of
speaking incessantly, even if it be sometimes
ridiculously, without overpowering every one else,
and who has a hearty, cheery laugh. One such
person at any rate should be secured, for there are
numbers of timid people who talk fluently enough
if they do not hear too loudly the sound of their
own voices, and thus the chatter of one talkative
friend will serve as a cover, and will induce much
by-conversation.

The invitations having been issued, we must turn
to the arrangements of the dinner table. Dinners
h la Russe have been in great favour during the last
few years, particularly with the gentlemen, and no
wonder, for then they are relieved from the re-
sponsible task of carving. When a dinner is served
in this style all the meats, poultry, and game are
placed on the sideboard and carved by the butler ;
but this plan cannot be attempted unless there
happen to be a large staff of servants. Carving is
not so much practised as it might be. " However

Dinners. 137

trifling some things may seem, they are no longer
so when about half the world thinks them other-
wise. Carving, as it occurs at least once in every
day, is not below our notice. We should use our-
selves to carve adroitly and genteelly." So says
Lord Chesterfield ; but how seldom do we meet
with "a good carver " ! Once upon a time there were
schools where this art was taught. Wooden models
of various birds, joints, &c., carved out into pieces
as the original ought to be, and fastened together
by threads or glue, were placed before the pupils,
whose business it was to separate them by blunt in-
struments. At one time this duty of carving was
apportioned to the lady of the house, while the host
dispensed the wine. Lady Wortley Montagu used
to dine by herself an hour or two beforehand, in
order that she might perform this office at her
father's table, and she only followed the general
custom of that day.

Well, whichever way the dinner is served, the ap-
pointments of the table are the same. A white cloth
of the finest linen damask is spread very exactly on
the table. Down each side and along each end
may be long and short slips, which are drawn of!
at the conclusion of dinner and before the dessert.
Before each seat is placed a napkin, folded in some
intricate form, and a roll of bread lies within.
A knife, fork, and spoon are ready for immediate
use, and on the right hand of each person are
set a sherry, claret, and champagne glass. No
tumblers are seen on the table at modern dinner
parties. There should be a small saltcellar within
easy reach of every guest ; also a water carafe and
glass. The old-fashioned epergne, which used to
grace the centre of the table, . has retired into

138 Good Society.

obscurity, and into its place have stepped plants
in ornamental pots, and vases of all shapes and
sizes filled with cut flowers. Every fashion has
its day. One favourite is perhaps of some-
what fantastic form, but is very graceful and
pretty withal. A plateau of plate-glass occupies
the centre of the table. On its surface here
and there are small china water-fowl or water
reptiles holding or supporting bouquets of flowers.
The edges of this miniature lake are closely
bordered with bright-coloured flowers or green
ferns, which are placed in long glass troughs.
This design is very effective on a large table, but
the plateau would look rather too much on a small
one. A less pretentious idea is that of a long oval
board, covered with crimson velvet or plush, on
which are grouped, according to fancy, clusters of
small glass or china vases with flowers. The
effect of this is heightened if silver candlesticks
are placed here and there on the board. All
the table decorations now in vogue are low in form,
so that the company are not hidden from one
another, and yet can have their eyes refreshed by
the sight of beautiful flowers ; and the flowers again
are not concentrated into large groups, but are
scattered up and down the table, at the same time
all forming part of a preconcerted plan of decora-
tioa Flowers placed on a dinner table should
be all of a choice kind. Ferns and moss are great
helps in the arrangement of them. The dessert
dishes take their places amidst the flowers, and
should be tastefully arranged and decorated. The
fruits make as tempting a display as possible.
Grapes in their own green leaves, strawberries
and cherries piled high on their respective dishes,

Dinners, 139

peaches, apricots, and plums ensconced each in a
separate leaf, so that they may not be robbed of
their delicate bloom by too close contact with their
fellows — pines and melons taking their stand as
the chief personages. Mingled with all these fruits,
sprays of ferns and the ice-plant give a cool and
refreshing appearance to the dish. Crystallised
fruits sparkle and glitter ; the more sober walnut
and filbert, disdaining decoration of any kind, as
unbecoming to their respective characters, com-
plete the general list of after-dinner delicacies. All
these dishes, and as many more as you please,
are placed on the table at the commencement,
and if the dinner is served a la Russe remain the
sole occupants ; if otherwise, the other dishes are
placed and replaced according to the courses.

No wine is put upon the dinner table.

The dinner table is ready. Let us hope that the
host and hostess, and more particularly the latter,
are ready too, and in their drawing-room before
the hour named for the arrivals, and that the
rooms are properly arranged and lighted, so that
there need be no sign of hurry or confusion at
the sound of the first bell. The. lady should place
herself in a position so as to be easily accessible
to all comers, as each guest ought to pay his or
her respects to her first. Punctuality should be
strictly observed. In the country half an hour's
latitude is allowed, and in town a quarter of an
hour's grace is given ; and surely everybody, if
they tried, could calculate their time so that they
should arrive neither too early nor too late, but hit
the happy medium ; then all the discomfort and
awkwardness caused by waiting after the appointed
hour for some late-coming guest entailed upon host,

140 Good Socimtv.

hostess, and all the assembled company, together
with the especial agony suffered by the cook, would
be happily and easily avoided.

This dread of non-punctuality on the part of
some one constantly destroys the peace of mind of
the mistress of the house as tlie hour approaches ;
and indeed a dinner party throughout is a trying
ordeal to a young and unseasoned hostess.

She should, to act her part well, be familiar with
every little drawing-room ceremonial — ^all the laws
of precedence and the whole etiquette of hospitality.
Whatever unfortunate contretemps or catastrophe
may happen, her equanimity must not be in the
slightest degree disturbed. She must be " mistress
of herself though china falV and she must endea-
vour to keep the ball of conversation ever on the
move.

The host communicates to each gentleman the
name of the lady he is to take in to dinner. If
they are strangers to each other, the host intro-
duces his friend to the lady. When the " guests
are met and the feast is set," the butler announces
the latter to his master, who then offers his arm
to the lady appointed to be escorted by him.
This should be either the oldest lady, the lady of
the highest rank, or the greatest stranger; or if
there be a bride present, the lot falls upon her.
The other guests follow arm-in-arm, and the hostess
closes the procession, escorted by the gentleman
who has been appointed to the honourable post,
and who has been elected for one of the three
reasons above-mentioned, as being the oldest or of
highest rank, &c. On arriving at the dining-room,
the host's seat is at the bottom of the table, and
his wife's at the top, unless the fashion be adopted

Dinners, 141

of occupying places opposite one another in the
middle of each side, which is sometimes the case
when the table is a long one. The host places his
lady on his right hand, and she is considered the
starting-:point for the waiters, who should always
offer each, dish first to her. The gentleman who
has accompanied the hostess is seated on her
right hand, and should offer to carve for her should
the dishes be placed on the table for that purpose.
In order to facilitate the arrangement of the rest
of the company, a card is laid on the table before
each seat, on which is written the name of the
guest by whom it is to be appropriated. For this
purpose many pretty and fantastic devices have
been designed. Sometimes a plan of the table
is laid in the drawing-room, so that the gentleman
having studied it* may be able at once to lead the
lady he escorts to her seat, and thus confusion
is avoided. The servant places a plate of soup
before each person in order, and it is etiquette to
begin immediately that it is set before you (the
ladies having, however, first withdrawn their
gloves), as well as to take it quickly. Of course
all food should be silently masticated. No sound
is more disagreeable than that of a company ** feed-
ing like horses, when you hear them feed.'*

At a large party no one ever thinks of partaking
of the same viand twice. At a dinner en famille,
where " you see your dinner before you," it is per-
missible, but never then with respect to soup and
fish. Beau Brummel, speaking contemptuously of
some one, said — " He is a fellow, now, that would
send up his plate twice for soup."

At a formal dinner guests are not asked their
choic^. This is quite unnecessary, for they hav^

142 Good Society,

their menu^ and so can accept or reject the different
dishes that are handed to them. The entrees and
the jellies, creams, &c., are handed on electro-
silver dishes, and guests help themselves. Of the
other meats, small pieces are placed on plates and
offered by the servants.

It will be seen by the menus appended what the
different courses are, and in what order they come.
We will now speak of the wines.

Is it naedful to say that they, like everything
else, should be good ? Bad cookery is deleterious,
but bad wines are positively poisonous ; so if the
host's purse will not allow him to give his guests
good champagne or hock, or any of the more ex-
pensive wines, let him offer only good sherry and
claret. The difficulty of procuring good wines is
certainly very great. Money even will not always
secure them, although it may naturally be expected
to do so. The only sure way of obtaining wine at
once good and genuine is to go to a merchant of
undoubted respectability.

The qualities of good wine are thus quaintly de-
scribed by Neckam, a writer of the twelfth century :
— " Clear as the tears of a penitent, so that a man
may see distinctly to the bottom of his glass ; its
colour should represent the greenness of a buffalo's
horn. When drunk it should descend impetuously
like thunder, sweet-tasted as an almond, creeping
like a squirrel, leaping like a roebuck, strong like
the building of a Cistercian monastery, glittering
like a spark of fire, subtle as the logic of the
schools of Paris, delicate as fine silk, and colder
than crystal."

No wine is placed on the dinner table, and
it is the province of the butler to hand the proper

Dinners. 143

kind at the proper time. Sherry is offered with
soup. With the fish light wines, such as hock,
chabHs, and sauterne. Champagne accompanies
the joint Port wine never makes its appear-
ance now Until dessert, when it divides the
honours with sherry, madeira, and claret. Fifty
years ago the practice of taking wine with one
another was in full force. This was a very old
custom. It was prevalent amongst the Greeks
and the Anglo-Saxons, and the latter always ac-
companied the ceremony with a kiss. A writer
of Henry VIII. 's day, in laying down the rules
of etiquette, suggests as one of them that when
any one will drink to the health of another
he must fix his eye upon him for a moment and
give him time, if it be possible, to swallow his
morsel.

The oft-repeated phrase, ** May I take wine
with you ? " is no longer heard at modern dinners.
The formality became a troublesome one, and has
gradually fallen into disuse, except at those con-
vivial meetings at colleges, known by the name
of " Wines," where youths still pledge one another
in the "cup of refreshment," and have yet a
peculiar little ceremony — from whom derived de-
ponent sayeth not — that of three linking their
arms one within the other, and, thus enchained,
they imbibe and pass good wishes round this small
circle one to the other.

One other old custom has, we are glad to say,
been almost chased away, and that is the habit
of pressing hospitality. There was a day when
it was the mark of good-breeding " to cram a
poor surfeited guest to the throat, and the most
social hours were thrown away in a continusil

144 Good Society,

interchange of solicitations and apologies." We
say " almost." Would that it were quite extinct ;
but here and there uncomfortable hosts and
hostesses are encountered who, out of kindness,
we know — but it is nwst mistaken — ^repeatedly
invite and urge their guests to partake of this and
that after they have politely declined. To say the
least, this conduct is in extremely bad taste. True
hospitality lies in offering freely what you have,
leaving the guest at liberty to take or pass by
what he pleases ; not in leading him to take what
you may please against his own inclination, simply
to oblige you, and so to escape further importunity.
This liberty extends to those who, as a matter of
taste or principle, choose to abstain altogether from
wine, for whom seltzer or other agreeable mineral
waters should be provided.

At the conclusion of dinner, the table is cleared
of everything but the dessert dishes and flower
decorations. The crumbs are taken off on to a
plate by means of a silver or wooden knife, and
the slips, if used, are then withdrawn. A dessert-
plate, on which is a d'oyley, finger-glass, and silver
knife and fork, is placed before each guest, together
with three wine-glasses. On very state occasions
the finger-glasses (which, when used, should be
small, and not contain much water) are not put on
the table, but in lieu a golden or majolica bowl
filled with rose-water and napkin attached is passed
round on the table, or offered by a servant. The
dessert dishes are brought more forward from the
centre of the table, and embossed spoons placed
beside the dishes. The wine is put on the table
before the host, and then handed once round by
the butler. T}ie servants hand the principal dishes

Dinners, 145

one after another to each guest, and then leave the
room. The hostess very soon rises, looking at the
same time at the lady on her husband's right hand,
who with the rest of the ladies rises from her seat.
The gentlemen do the same. The host, or some
gentleman more conveniently near it, opens the
door, and the ladies troop out and settle them-
selves in the drawing-room. The servant brings
cups of coffee and hands them round, and takes
some to the gentlemen in the dining-room. The
ladies are not left very long to themselves, as it is
not now the practice for gentlemen to drink much
wine after dinner. They ought, therefore, soon to
adjourn to the drawing-room. The servants then
re-appear, one carrying a tray on which are cups
of tea, the other a salver on which rest the sugar
basin and cream jug. These are handed round.
Sometimes music is introduced. The half-hour or
so after dinner quickly flies. At half-past ten or
eleven the guests begin to depart. On the arrival
of each carriage, a servant announces it quietly to
the owner.

As the foregoing remarks have treated some-
what exclusively of so-called " stylish " dinners, it
may be as well to make some remarks on the
manner in which those given with less ostentation
should be conducted. Although there is not quite
so much state and ceremony observed in a dinner
enfamilie^ yet there is by no means the same free-
dom and latitude allowed as at luncheons and other
meals. The table is set with care and precision ;
the different courses are placed on it and removed
in proper order ; but no dish should be taken off
the table until all the plates have been previously
removed; neither should one be placed on the

146 Good Society,

table while any belonging to the former course
remains. The dishes containing vegetables and
sauces should be kept on the sideboard, and are
always handed. The host may offer to serve his
guests a second time from the joint or poultry,
but not with soup or fish. Gentlemen carve and
assist their neighbours, and should notice anything
that is wanting, passing salt, mustard, or pepper, if
within their reach, or asking the servant to bring
it ; but never attempt to leave their seats to go in
search of what they need, though custom allows
them to do so at breakfast and luncheon.

Spring (April, May, June) —for Six.

S(mp,
Spring Soup.

Fish.
Salmon.

Entrhs,

Stewed Pigeons, with Cherries.
Beef k la mode.

Jiemoves,

Quarter of Lamb.

Spring Chickens, with Tongue.

Cucumber.

Game,
Salmi of Larks.

Sweets,

Fruit Jelly. Souffle. Gateau Napolilain.

Cheese Straws.
Cheese. Biscuits. Butter.

Ices,
Brown Bread Cream. Lemon Water.

Dinners, 147

Spring— for Twelve.

Soup.

Asparagus.
Vermicelli.

Fish,
Salmon. Plain Whitebait and Devilled Whitebait.

Entries.

Beef Olives. Quenelles of Rabbit.

Lobster Cutlets. Reform Cutlets.

Removes,

Quarter of Lamb. Capon, with Ham.

Green Peas.

Came.
Quails. Plovers.

Sweets,

Iced Souffle.
Fruit Jelly. Pine-apple Cream.

Gooseberry Tart.
Ramakins. Russian Salad.

Ices.
Vanilla Cream. Orange Water.

Fruit,
Strawberries. Cherries. Melons.

J 2

148 Good Society,

Summer (July, August, September) — for Six.

Soup,
Julienne.

Fish,
Red Mullet.

Entries,
Lobster Cutlets. Ragout of Sweetbreads.

Reinorves,

Haunch of Lamb.
York Ham and Green Peas.

Came,

Quail or Larks.

Grouse (August).

Partridges (September)

Sweets,

Iced Souffle.
Strawberry Cream. Lemon Sponge.

Plovers' Eggs.
Gorgonzola Cheese. Butter.

Ices.
Pine-apple Cream. Cherry Water.

Fruit.
Pine-apples. Strawberries. Cherries. Apricots. Melons.

Dinners, 149

SVMMER— for Twelve.

Soup,

Oxtail.
Bisque.

Fish.
Salmon. Smelts.

Entries,

Curried Eggs. Sweetbreads and Mushrooms.
Vol au Vent 4 la financiere.

HefHoves,
Iced Asparagus.

Gatne,

Quails. Larks (July).

Grouse. Black Cock (August).

Partridges. Black Cock (Sept.).

Sweets.

Ice Pudding.
Strawberry Jelly. Chartreuse of Apricots.

Confiture of Nectarines. Iced Meringues.

Cheese Straws.
Cheese. Butter.

Ices.
Neapolitan Cream. Raspberry Water.

Fruit,
Pine-apples. Strawberries. Cherries. Apricots. Melons-

150 Good Society.

Autumn (Oct., Nov., Dec.)— for Six.

Soup.
Artichoke.

Fish,
John Dory.

Entries.
Curried Ox-palates. Larded Sweetbreads.

Hemoves,

Saddle Mutton. Guinea Fowl.

Tomatoes.

Game.
Woodcock.

Sweets.

Cabinet Pudding.

Noyau Jelly. Charlotte Russe.

Ramakins.
Cheese. Butter.

Ices,
Vanille Cream. Lemon Water.

Fruit,
Pine- apple. Pears. Grapes. Medlars. Filberts.

Dinners, 15!

Autumn — for Twelve.

Soup.

Clear Turtle.
White.

Fisk,
Cod. Sparling.

Entries.

Mutton Cutlets, with Tomato Sauce.

Oyster Patties. Sweetbreads.

Beef Olives.

liemoves,
Haunch of Mutton. Turkey Poult.

Ga»ie.
Pheasants. Snipe.

Sweets.

Bakewell Pudding.
Wine Jelly. Italian Cream.

Gateau de Pommes. Chocolate Cream.

Fondu of Cheese. Savoury Eggs.

Ices.
Vanilla Cream. Currant Wine.

Fruit.
Pine-apple. Pears. Grapes. Medlars. Filberts.

t52 Good Societv.

Winter (Jan., Feb., March)— for Six.

Soup.
Brunoise.

Fish,
Crimped Cod.

Entries,
Fricandeau of Veal.

Retnoves,

Saddle Mutton. Pullet.

Sea Kale.

Game.
Wild Duck.

Sweets.

Apple Souffle.

Ratafia Cream. Lemon Sponge.

Pra>^Tis.
Roquefort Cheese. Butter.

Tees,
Coffee Creim. Raspberry Water.

Fruit,
Apples. Pears. Medlars. Grapes. Walnuts.

^

WiNi F.R— for Tuelve.

Palestine.

Fricandean of Beef. Slewed Pigeons.

Quenelles of Lobsler.

Refonn Cutlets.

Remevei

Haunch Venison.

Turkey.

New Polaloes-

Asparagus.

Came.

Teal.

Guinea Fowl.

Plum Pudding.

Vanilla Cream. Meringues.

Maraschino Jell)'. Confiture of Fruit.

Ramakins.

Stilton. Butler.

Ices.

CHAPTER XII.

TEAS.

High Teas — What to put on the Table, and how to place it
Arrangement of Drawing-room — Five o*clock Teas.

" while the bubbling and loud-hissing urn

Throws up a steaming column, and the cups
Which cheer but not inebriate wait on each."

Cawper,

" Tea " is supposed to be essentially the ladies'
meal; but there are countless numbers of the
opposite sex who, while they swallow " just an odd
cup because it is made," experience as much enjoy-
ment as those for whose delectation it was said to
have been brewed. There are two classes of teas
—'' great teas " and " little teas " : the " high " or
" meat " teas, which come under the first denomina-
tion, and " handed tea," or " afternoon tea," which
place themselves under the latter. The first of
these is quite a country institution, and scarcely
known to the dwellers in towns. Now a tea, of
whatever kind, may be made one of the most
agreeable of meals ; for tea always seems to produce
sociability, cheerfulness, and vivacity. There is an
air of comfort and home which hovers over the tea
table, one which the more forn^al dinner table can

Teas, 155

never present. What more welcome and cheering
sight can meet our eye on the return from a long
journey or distant excursion, or from a hardly-
contested battle on the lawn-tennis ground, than
the hissing, steaming urn, the array of cups and
saucers, the sociable, genial air which the tea
table invariably presents ? Let us first speak of
" high teas," which, as we have remarked, are most
in fashion in the country, and for this reason : late
dinners interfere with the social, informal life that
country people are wont to lead, and those who
are on hospitable thoughts intent have not the
same opportunities afforded them of carrying out
their wishes. For instance, it would be impossible
in many households to invite twenty people to
dinner at a few days' notice ; or if several friends
happened to call, bringing their visitors with them,
they could not be asked to stay if the evening meal
were a dinner ; but, in either case, it is quite feasible
when tea is in question. Very pleasant gatherings
may take place in this way, either in summer as a
termination to archery or lawn-tennis, or in winter as
a prelude to music, round games at cards, or charades.
A white cloth is always laid on the table for
" high tea," and on it down the centre are placed
flowers, and in summer, fruits. Nothing looks
more tempting than bowls of old china filled with
ripe red strawberries, and jugs of rich cream by
their side. Glass dishes containing preserved
fruits of different colours, such as apricots, straw-
berries, marmalade, &c., take their stands at short
intervals. Cakes of various kinds — plum, rice,
and sponge ; and then within easy reach of the
"tea-drinkers" are hot muffins, crumpets, toast,
tea-cakes, and what not. At one end of the table

156 Good Society,

the tea-tray stands, with its adjuncts ; at the other
the coffee is placed, also on a tray. The sideboard
is the receptacle of the weightier matters, such as
cold salmon, pigeon and veal and ham pies, boiled
and roast fowls, tongues, ham, veal cake ; and
should it be a very " hungry tea," roast beef and
lamb may be there for the gentlemen of the party.

The servants should be expert and handy, as
there is a good deal of waiting to be done. One
should hand the cups of tea on a waiter, together
with sugar and cream; another should do the
same with coffee, and both should take notice of
the empty cups, and take them to be re-filled.
Then there should be one to carve and help at the
sideboard, and another to change the plates, hand
bread-and-butter, &c. Very often the gentlemen
wait to a great extent upon the ladies and them-
selves on these occasions. After the fruit has been
handed, the servants leave the room. It is usual
for the party to remain a short time at the table
after the conclusion of the meal.

Sometimes a dance on the lawn, or on the
drawing-room carpet, music, talk, or charades end
an entertainment of this kind ; but if dancing is
not introduced, the success of a tea depends much
upon the arrangement of the reception rooms.

The furniture should be so arranged that the
rooms may look full, and yet progress be not im-
peded. Tables and chairs should be so placed
that the guests naturally form themselves into little
groups, and can with ease pass from one knot to
another. A room stiffly arranged will destroy all
the wish for conversation and mirth, and also the
power of producing it as well. And, again, an im-
mediate depression follows the fatal moment when,

Teas, 157

either through forgetfulness or ignorance, the guests
form themselves into an unbroken circle round the
room. Few people have the sang froid to talk,
much less talk freely and well, when every one
can hear their remarks ; and yet few are too bashful
to converse in a small group. It really requires
that the hostess should keep her eye upon her
company in order to prevent this catastrophe, and
to disperse them in time, for once this circle formed,
it is almost an impossibility to break it up. A
gloom pervades, hilarity ceases, only an occasional
remark is ventured upon, and the party is con-
verted into a Quaker's meeting, simply from this
one circumstance.

" Little teas " take place in the afternoon. Now
that dinners are so late, and that "teas proper"
are postponed in consequence to such an unnatural
hour as ten p.m., the want is felt of the old-fashioned
meal at five, and so it has been reinstated, though
not in quite the same form as before. The modern
afternoon tea takes place about five, and the in-
vitation is by card, intimating that Mrs. will

be " At home " on such an afternoon. No answer
is necessary. When the day arrives, if you are dis-
engaged, and so disposed, you call upon your friend,
are ushered into her drawing-room, and there you
find her and others who have come on the same
errand as yourself. The tea equipage is placed
on a table near to the lady of the house, who her-
self dispenses the tea. Usually this equipage is
one specially designed for these occasions. The
cups and saucers are smaller than those in use at
other meals, and are of a more dainty and refined
character. The other accompaniments also are
on a smaller scale — the spoons, sugar basin and

158 Good Society,

tongs, cream jug, are distinctively small. No plates
are brought into the room except those which hold
cake or rolled bread and butter. Gentlemen, of
course, will tender their services ; but they should
not be too officious or over-anxious to do their duty.
There are men who will perpetually be handing
cake, and offering to do this, that, and the other
about the tea-tray. People do not assemble at
these five o'clock teas to eat and drink, but merelv
to see and talk to each other, and take a cup of
tea the while as a refreshment. Small tables should
be placed here and there, so that people can group
round them and use them.

If these afternoon receptions are on a large scale,
it is necessary for servants to hand the tea, or for
the tea to be poured out by a servant in another
room, to which each guest is asked to go by the
lady of the house some time during the hour they
remain in the house; but as "little teas" are
thoroughly social gatherings, servants should be
excluded if possible. Several new features have
lately been introduced into this phase of social life
when guests go by invitation. Enthusiasts of whist
collect their forces and enjoy a good rubber between
afternoon tea and dinner. A dance on the carpet
finds favour with the young people. Sometimes the
hostess entertains her friends by engaging a pro-
fessional musician or a reciter to exhibit their talents.
We do not know whether country people are so far
demoralised as to introduce these entertainments,
but it is, at any rate, a London fashion. You take
your departure whenever you feel inclined, but
should on no account stay later than seven o'clock.

CHAPTER XIII

SUPPERS.

Suppersgive place to Dinners — Roman Bill of Fare — Appoint-
ments of the Table — French Display — Our Supper Tables
—Impromptu Suppers — Ball Suppers.

" Is supper ready, the house trimmed,
Rushes strewed, cobwebs swept ? "

Shakespeare,

" Soft he set

A table, and threw thereon

A cloth of woven crimson, gold, and jet.

Forth from the closet brought a heap
Of candied apples, quince, and plum, and gourd,
With jellies smoother than the creamy curd.
And lucent syrups tinct with cinnamon.
Manna and dates, and spiced dainties every one
From silken Samarcand to cedared Lebanon."

Keats,

This meal, which used to be in all countries one
of the most important, has now given way to its
great rival, dinner, and has itself sunk into com-
parative insignificance. Supper in the olden times
was the second meal in the day, at which the whole
household met together. It was served in the hall,
with much the same form and service as dinner ;
the table was plentifully covered with good things,
and the company began and ended their repast by
washing their hands, a parting cup was then handed
round, and the adjournment from the supper table

i6o Good Society,

was to bed. Thus the good people appear to have
ignored their own adage, "After supper run a mile."
If any distinguished personages were to be enter-
tained, either at Court or elsewhere, the invitation
was always to supper.

The medical fraternity give this meal a very bad
name, and shake their heads at hot suppers par-
ticularly; but there are times and seasons when
this meal must be included in the day's list — for
instance, it is more convenient for some households
to dine in the middle of the day, then the evening
meal becomes a supper ; or when a business man
returns home late from the City, he looks forward
to his cosy, well-earned supper. At an evening
party or ball the supper also forms a very important
element. The Romans supped at Ihree p.m., and,
amongst other equally to us uninviting viands,
used then to eat ass, dog, and snails. The fol-
lowing bill of fare is not a very tempting one to
modern palates, although an immense improvement
on dog and donkey:— "Sea hedgehogs, oysters,
asparagus, succeeded by venison, wild boar, and
sea nettles, concluded by fowl, game, and cakes.''
I think we may fairly claim that our suppers —
little or big — are more civilised and dainty than
this.

The arrangements of the table are of the same
formal and precise nature as those of a dinner, and
all the appointments should shine and glitter, as
good glass and honest silver always will if servants
do their duty by them. Few, perhaps, even of the
wealthiest, nowadays make a display equal to that
of the French Court in the luxurious age of Louis
XV. Such entertainments as the following were by
no means extraordinary : — " The table looked like

Suppers. i6i

a mountain of snow ; its surface was, according to
the fashion, ribbed in fanciful and waving plaits, so
as to represent the current of a stream crisped by
a passing breeze. This stream bore upon its
bosom a proud array of gold and silver vases,
crystal cups and goblets, all of rarest workmanship.
There were —

' Dishes of agate set in gold, and studded
With emeralds, sapphires, hyacinths and rubies. '

Fancy ran riot amongst the endless varieties of
piquant viands ; pyramids of confectionery, piles of
choicest fruits appeared at intervals, while antique-
shaped urns steamed with the rich produce of the
grape — for wines were then drank hot and spiced
for the most part" But we must come away from
fairy-land to our more sober country and every-day
doings.

Supper tables can be made to look nice and
tempting enough by the bestowal of a little care
and ingenuity upon them. The garnishing of the
dishes adds greatly to the general appearance of
the table, as well as the neatness and precision
with which those dishes are placed upon it. The
eye may be gratified as well as the palate, but at
the same time due care must be taken that all is
not merely glitter and show, that appearances are
not deceptive, but that our further acquaintance
with what is spread before us increases our first
admiration, and does not turn it into disappoint-
ment and disapprobation.

If the supper is for a small number, on an
ordinary occasion, meats and sweets may be placed
upon it which have appeared before, only they need

1 62 Good Society.

not have precisely the same form. Of this we have
spoken elsewhere, with regard to cold luncheons ;
and this applies equally to suppers ; but supposing
hot dishes were required with little notice, why,
then the remains of the chicken might be fricasseed,
what is left of the rabbit made into a curry, a
savoury omelette is quickly prepared, oysters are
soon scalloped and mushrooms grilled, beef can
be minced, a sole fried, spinach boiled and crested
with poached eggs, sweetbreads cooked, macaroni
and cheese made to agree, or a partridge roasted.
Any of these dishes may be quickly served, and
they are all suitable for the supper table. Then as
to sweets. Tarts containing any kind of fruit, and
moulds of every description, together with cakes,
cheese, biscuits, and butter, form the second and
last course.

Now we turn to a more formidable banquet, a
supper in connection with an evening party or ball,
which closely resembles a wedding breakfast.
Flowers and fruits should occupy the middle of the
table, from one end to the other. Bonbons,
crackers, and ornamented cakes should spring up
on all sides, together with frothy trifles, quivering
jellies, snowy creams, and light souffles, all placed
in glass dishes. Then there are oyster patties,
savoury jellies, lobster salads, veal cakes, and the
more substantial dishes of cold salmon, game pie,
boiled turkey, fowls boiled and roasted — these
should have been carved before coming to table,
and tied together in their original form with white
satin ribbon, so that the person before whom they
are placed has no further trouble than to untie the
bow and put each piece on a plate as required.
Hams, tongues, and game, everything is cold at

Suppers, 163

these suppers except soup, which is now often
handed in cups. Neither vegetables nor cheese
show themselves. Ices should be provided, and
the beverages are sherry, claret, light and spark-
ling wines, and the different kinds of cups, cham-
pagne being the greatest favourite.

K 2

CHAPTER XIV.

BALLS.

Seasons for Balls — Dances — Different Styles — Public Balls —
How to manage them — Tickets — Introductions — Duties
of Stewards — Fancy Dress Balls — Private Balls — Rooms
necessary — Good Dancers — Music — Lights — Decorations
— Cloak-room — Tea-room — Drawing-room — Ball-room
— Duties of the Entertainers to their Guests — Partners
to their Partners — Card-room — " Cinderella Dances."

*• I could be pleased with any one
Who entertained my sight with such gay shows,
As men and women, moving here and there,
That coursing one another in their steps,
Have made their feet a tune."

Dry den.

Winter one would think to be the proper and only
season for the enjoyment of the dance. When
sharp north-easters blow, and icicles hang pendent
from every roof and tree, then is the time for active
exercise, by day and night, on the ice-bound lake
and in the mazy whirl in the ball-room. But young
blood always enjoys being in motion ; and dancing
on the green turf at the close of a summer picnic,
after an afternoon's hard work on the lawn-tennis
ground, or a carpet waltz begun impromptu on an
autumn evening — each and all are acceptable, and
enjoyed with as much zest as the Twelfth-night

Balls. 165

ball is in cold January ; at no season is dancing
considered unseasonable.

It is amusing to see in what lights the ball-room
is viewed by the chaperons and the chaperoned.
It has been described by one of the former as ** a
confined place in which poor creatures are con-
demned by fashion to hard labour ; " while to one
of the latter, the motion of the dancers appears to
be like

" A fine sweet earthquake gently moved
By the soft wind of dispersing silks."

Then, again, the style of dancing is depreciated by
the elderly frequenters, who say there is no such
thing as dancing nowadays, it is only running
round the room. " In my young days,'* say they,
" there was a heartiness in the dancing, which it
lacks now; the young people had then some mettle
in their heels." When we come to inquire what
this much admired and lamented style was, we find
that it might thus be described in the language of
Aristophanes, " He strikes and flutters like a cock ;
he capers in the air, he kicks up his heels to the
stars.'' Certainly, we of the present day can lay
claim to more grace and elegance, if not to equal
agility.

The list of dances now in fashion is of greater
length than it was some years ago. At that time
the valse, the lancers, and the galop seemed to
occupy the programme. The two first dances still
continue to be the favourites, but others have been
re-introduced : the polka takes turn with the
valse, and the quadrille soraetitnes takes the
place of that ever-bewildering, never-to-be-remem-
bered maze, the lancers. The coquettish cotillion,

1 66 Good Society.

the friendly country dance, and the merry reel are
frequently danced : of the two latter, the Swedish
dance and the Highland schottische are chiefly
chosen. Even the stately minuet, the galliards,
the bransle, and the torreano, danced by courtly
knights and dignified dames centuries ago, are
likely to be brought forward again.

First let us speak of public balls, amongst which
are county balls, hunt balls, hospital balls, bachelors*
balls — in fact, any ball for which tickets have to be
bought in order to gain admittance. When a ball
of this kind is in prospect, the first thing to do is
to form a committee of gentlemen who will take an
interest in such a proceeding, and devote their time
and energies to carrying the plan out effectually.
The first proceeding of the committee is to ask
ladies of rank and position to become patronesses.
When their consent is obtained, the ball should be
announced in the newspapers, together with a list
of the lady patronesses, and the names and
addresses of the stewards. These stewards are
appointed to manage the ball itself, and in order
to keep the company select the tickets can be
obtained through them and the lady patronesses
alone. In the case of a county ball, not only must
the names of those wishing to buy tickets be sent
in, but if they are strangers they must present an
introduction from some one personally known to
the stewards or lady patronesses, as the case may
be. A public hall or room is engaged for the
occasion, and as a proper decorator is employed,
we will not interfere with his ideas, but leave him
to turn the bare and dreary room into a smiling,
brilliant hall, a feat generally very satisfactorily
accomplished.

6 ALLS, 167

At these balls introductions are effected through
the stewards, who wear some badge of office in the
shape of a rosette or ribbon. If a gentleman asks
him to find a partner, he may go to any lady he
sees who is not dancing, and say, "May I introduce
you to a partner for this dance ? " , The steward,
having performed his part, retires, and the gentle-
man asks the lady if he may have the pleasure of a
dance with her. The steward*s post is no sinecure,
for his aim should be not only that a ball should go
off well, as the phrase is, but that everybody should
enjoy it ; so if he sees any lady not dancing much,
he should seek out gentlemen whom he can intro-
duce to her as partners. Then the forming of the
square dances devolves upon him ; any alterations
in the programme must be communicated through
him to the musicians ; he must see as well as he
can that the chaperons have been taken in to
supper ; and if the spirit of the entertainment
appears to be flagging, put forth all his energies to
revive it. Public balls begin about eleven p.m.
and end about four a.m.

Fancy dress balls are not of very frequent occur-
rence ; but when the arrangements are carried out
with spirit and ingenuity they present at once a
most unique, gay, and imposing spectacle. People
who attend them must go dressed in any costume
except that they usually wear. Many assume well-
known historical characters; others adopt the
national costumes of different countries. It is
always well to choose a character and style of dress
suitable to the character, face, and figure of the
wearer ; for instance, a fair-complexioned person
should not assume the garb of an Italian or a
gipsy, nor a small and insignificant one appear as

i68 Good Society,

Henry VIII. or Marie Antoinette. The portraits
of the old masters afford ample and reliable inform-
ation as to costume on a wide range for those
who take part in these revelries.

The first thing to be considered before deciding
to give a private ball is whether you have rooms
enough, and whether they are fitted for the purpose.
In order to have your arrangements complete, six
or seven rooms at least should be set apart for this
festivity — two cloakrooms, tea and refreshment
room, drawing-room for the reception, ball-room,
card and supper rooms. Card tables can be placed
in the drawing-room when a separate room for their
use is not available.

Every giver of a ball looks forward to being re-
paid for the trouble and anxiety which it necessarily
entails by the success of the entertainment. To
ensure this there are one or two essential points
which must be heeded. Of course, for the dance
to be perfect, everything ought to be of the best —
good room, good floor, good dancers, good music,
and good supper ; but it is impossible to compass
the whole of this list in every case ; therefore, the
indispensables must be pointed out. We cannot
alter the size and shape of our rooms, but one
must be chosen as large as possible, and nearly
square if possible, for a long narrow room is fatal to
dancing ; nor can we lay our floors afresh, but we
need not fatigue our guests by obliging them to
dance upon carpet. There can be no doubt that
a polished floor, such as one meets with on the
Continent, is the pleasantest and easiest to dance
upon, but if our boards are rough ones, a brown-
hoUand covering stretched tightly over them will be
a good substitute for more substantial smoothness,

Balls, 169

if properly done, and is far preferable to another
device which is sometimes most unwisely resorted
to — viz., waxing the floor. A short time ago I
was at a large ball in a county town where this
was done, and the misery and vexation to which it
gave rise were very great. Not only were our feet
glued to the floor, to be severed only by a deter-
mined wrench at every step we took, but the de-
struction of dress was terrible — velvets, silks, and
satins were quite spoilt by the wax which adhered
to them ; and no doubt many were the secret tears
shed that night when the fair wearers laid them by.
Good dancers, too, it is not within the pow^ of
any hostess to command. She can only invite people
who dance — she cannot ensure their dancing well.
She must invite many guests, too, to fill her rooms,
and those who dance well are few. This accomplish-
ment is acquired to a certain degree by every girl,
but whether it is that the other sex are constitution-
ally gauche^ or that they have not been vouchsafed
the same opportunities, we will not decide ; certain
it is that " bad partners " are more frequently com-
plained of by the ladies than by the gentlemen —

•' Her feet beneath her petticoat
Like little mice peeped in and out,

As if they feared the light ;
And oh ! she dances such a way
No sun upon an Easter day

Were half so fine a sight."

And now read a general description of a gentleman
dancing the lancers* —

" Her partner has never spoken during the first

* Saturday Review.

fjo Good Society,

four figures. He has no memoria technica to help
him. When he valses he counts aloud. His
ideas are beginning to desert him, and he is pushed
into the middle as some kind of bewildering music
commences. He remembers that there are two
women in pink and one in blue who belong to his
set, but the nondescript appearance of the fourth
upsets all his calculations. He runs about aim-
lessly, is found advancing with four girls, now
giving both his hands to one of his own sex, now
standing motionless on a dress. The result is
disastrous, and he emerges out of the slough of
despond bewildered and haggard."

Good music is a sine qua non. If this be not
secured — no matter whether the entertainment be
what is called a " dance " or a " ball " — it will
certainly be a failure. The want of it destroys
all chance of enjoyment. It is impossible to
dance well to bad music. "Bad music" means
uneven, uncertain playing, and this is sure to be
the result when amateurs attempt to play for
dancers. Then, too, it is unfair to impose such
a laborious and monotonous task on your guests.
If the party is to be a small one, have a proficient
man or woman to play the piano ; if it be a
large one, then one or two instruments as well as
the piano are necessary, such as violin, cornet, or
harp, varied by the addition of bells and triangles.
The place in the room that these musicians should
occupy is a difficult matter to decide. They
always seem in the way. The saying about
children, that they should be seen and not heard,
should be reversed, if possible, with this band of
musicians. They should be heard but not seen;
or at any rate their bodily presence should not

Balls, 171

be obtrusive. The best plan we have seen is to
place a little wooden hut outside the windows
of the dancing room, and take out the window
frame, at the same time screening it as much as
possible with evergreens, ferns, and flowers; but
of course this is not always practicable, for several
reasons.

The supper has been treated of in another
chapter, so we will only emphasise the necessity
for substantiality as well as elegance, and pass on
to other details.

All the rooms in the house should be brilliantly
hghted, for light induces gaiety and mirth. Dark-
ness engenders silence and gloom. The illumi-
nation of the ball-room is another difficulty which
besets the giver of dances, especially if the house
be a country one. Gas makes a room very hot
and oppressive, no doubt, but it is the easiest
and most effectual mode of lighting a room, if it is
available, and good ventilation can do much to
remedy the evils it carries with it. Wax candles
are objectionable on these occasions, because,
fanned and irritated by the continual motion of
the dancers, they drop their waxy tears on coat
and dress, the traces of which remain for ever
and a day. French lamps, placed on brackets at
short distances, and high enough to be out of the
way, shed the softest and most pleasing light. If
the dance is of long duration, the lamps may
require to be re-trimmed one by one during the
course of the evening, or darkness will perchance
descend upon the scene.

There cannot be too great a display of flowers.
The fireplaces should be screened with them or
with large ferns, so filled as to resemble a garden

17^ Good Society,

bank. The mantelpieces may be covered with
small tin trays, containing flowers. Console tables,
or any other flat surface, may be decorated in like
manner; and on the staircase, below the banister,
flowers are often arranged so as to appear as if
growing there. In fact, the whole should resemble
as near as may be the ball-rooms in France during
the luxurious age of the famed Louis Quatorze,
of which we read that " perfumes exhaled from
a thousand aromatic lamps, fragrant exotics
filled the air with their sweet scents, while music
soft and low breathed from a band of unseen
minstrels."

A broad piece of carpet should be unrolled from
the hall door to the carriage steps ; and where the
distance between the two is great, an awning
should be stretched over the passage. As the
guests arrive, they are ushered into the cloak-
rooms. A maid should be at her post in that
reserved for ladies, to give her aid in straightening
dresses, arranging hair, and removing all trace of
the slight disorder caused by the carriage drive.
She should be armed with needle and thread to
sew up the inevitable tears and rents which occur
during the evening's campaign. It is also well to
number hats, shawls, and cloaks, that they may
be restored as quickly as possible to their owners
on their departure. The lady having put a finish-
ing touch to her hair, and the gentleman to his
tie, the two are next conducted to the tea-room.
Here a table is laid out with tea and coffee, cakes
and biscuits, the beverages being dispensed by a
servant. After having partaken of a cup of one or
other, the new arrivals emerge from this room and
are then shown into the drawing-room, where the

Balls, 173

lady of the house receives her guests Dancing
should begin directly there is a sufficient number
of people present to make a respectable show.
In quadrilles and other square dances, those couples
who are at the top of the room always begin the
figure.

The different members of the family should all
unite in trying to secure the pleasure of their
guests, by noting those who are comparative
strangers, and introducing them to partners, rather
giving up their own than allowing their guests to
feel themselves neglected. It is considered to be
the duty of the son of the house to dance with
each lady, and the daughter must not be partial,
nor ever refuse to accept as a partner any guest of
her father's for at least one dance. A lady and
gentleman of my acquaintance went not long ago
to a private ball, and, as it happened, found them-
selves strangers to all present. This need have
been no drawback, if their entertainers had done
their parts well ; but as it was, they were left entirely
to themselves, and not introduced to anybody. So
they danced with one another, went by themselves
to supper, and then went home deeply and justly
annoyed by the want of thought, to designate it
by no harsher name, displayed by their host and
hostess and their sons and daughters. Such
neglect is unpardonable.

The tea-room can be used as a refreshment-
room ; if possible, it should be on the same floor
as the dancing-room. The table should be well
supplied with ices and cups of claret, cider, and
champagne ; lemonade, sherry, coffee, small cakes,
biscuits, and wafers. Two or three servants should
be in constant attendance.

174 Good Society, '

The fashion of programmes has become almost
obsolete at the best London balls, which is a pity,
as they were not only pretty souvenirs of the balls
of a season, but also most convenient aids to
memory at the time being ; for if a girl has many
partners it is no easy matter for her to remember
to whom she is engaged for each dance. However,
the capricious goddess for the time wills it other-
wise, and only at country balls are programmes
still found to survive.

It is considered " bad manners " if a man fails
to come and claim his partner when the dance
is about to commence, or for the lady to break her
promise by accepting any other partner who may
have asked for the pleasure of the same dance in
the interim.

If a lady declines to dance with any one who
may request her, but with whom she does not wish
to become acquainted, and has no plea of a former
engagement to offer for her refusal, the best course
to take is, not to dance that particular dance at
all, and then any chance of hurting the feelings of
the rejected one is avoided.

The number of times that a lady should dance
with the same partner, except under special cir-
cumstances, should be limited. Never so often as
either to attract observation, or to call forth re-
marks on the subject.

After a dance the gentleman asks his partner
whether she will take any refreshment, and if she
replies in the affirmative he escorts her to the room
and procures her an ice, offers to hold a cup for
her, and when the music for the next dance
begins he conducts her to her chaperon, when
she disengages herself from his arm, they bow to

Balls, 175

one another, and he leaves her. It is not cus-
tomary to promenade much after a dance.

Private balls usually begin at ten p.m., and end
about three a.m. ; supper at one a.m.

The gentleman with whom the lady has been
last dancing generally takes her in to supper.

It is necessary to bid good-night to your
hostess, but you go away quietly, that your de-
parture may not be noticed, lest it should tend to
break up the party.

In the foregoing pages, public and private balls
on a large scale have been described. The enter-
tainments known by the name of " Cinderella
Dances'* are of a less elaborate and expensive
character. They originated from the desire of
young people to meet frequently for the pleasure
of dancing. A "Cinderella Dance" begins at
eight p.m., and ends as the clock strikes the hour
of midnight — hence the origin of the title. No
supper is provided or expected ; refreshments such
as coffee, tea, biscuits, and claret only, are set on
the tables.

CHAPTER XV.

PRIVATE THEATRICALS.

Amateur Acting — Charades ^Tableaux Vivants — Wax- Work
Exhibitions — Private Theatricals.

••And then, and much it helped his chance—
He could sing and play first fiddle and dance,
Perform charades and proverbs of France."

Hood,

Charades, tableaux vivants^ wax-work exhibitions,
and private theatricals are excellent amusements
for winter evenings, and more especially for house-
holds in the country, where all the excitement must
be provided within doors. There are many
occasions where the want is felt of some fresh
enlivenment. Dancing night after night becomes
monotonous, but acting is always interesting, and
it provides occupation and amusement for the day-
time also, in the preparation of dresses and scenes
and the learning and rehearsal of parts. This
taste for amateur acting has spread so rapidly that
it would seem as if the rising generation of this
country would resemble the Greeks, and be " one
entire nation of actors and actresses."

A paterfamilias who is blessed with a quiver full
of olive-branches, being thus provided with a suffi-
cient company for his domestic stage, may cast %

Private Theatricals. 177

play to his own liking without having the trouble
to go abroad for his theatrical amusements.

As an American writer* well remarks, "It is
pleasant to see and hear real gentlemen and ladies,
who do not think it necessary to mouth and rant
and stride, like too many of our stage heroes and
heroines, in the characters which show off their
graces and talents ; and most of all, to see a fresh,
unrouged, unspoiled, high-bred young maiden,
with a lithe figure and a pleasant voice, acting in
those love dramas that make us young again to
look upon, when real youth and beauty will play
them for us.'*

Charades are the easiest of these three amuse-
ments, both to act and to arrange. They can be
got up in a very short space of time — indeed, they
are often the best when quite impromptu. They
are a great help in entertaining a room full of pro-
miscuous people. In the country, where friends
and neighbours are invited to tea and supper, it
often happens that midway between the two the
evening begins to ** drag," as the term is. Perhaps
the majority of the guests do not care for music.
The conversation grows slow and faint. What can
the hostess do to revive the drooping spirits of the
party ? Charades are the very kind of excitement
required to infuse life and merriment into the
dejected, silent company. No special talent is
needed. A few of the young people are despatched
into another room to arrange the charade. A
word of two or three syllables is chosen, of which
each syllable is a word of itself, and is acted as
such. For instance, the word " infantry '* might be

* O. W. Holmes.

178 Good Society,

selected. There would be a scene for each syllable
— an inn, we will say, an evening party, and a vil-
lage school, and the whole word represented by a
regiment of soldiers. Someone should be placed
at the head of this, band as leader, who will urge
decision on the word to be chosen, and suggest the
characters to be adopted, and by whom they are to
be personated ; otherwise much time will be spent
in useless discussion, and those who await the
return of the actors into the drawing-room will
grow weary. Then as to the dresses, they are
selected out of those hastily collected together;
and quick wits will soon convert a few shawls,
cloaks, &c., into most wonderful and imposing cos-
tumes. Great results are attained by the means of
wigs, spectacles, and burnt cork. The more com-
plete the transformation the greater the fun — gentle-
men dressed as ladies, children metamorphosed
into adults, thin people made up into stout ones —
any change, in fact, but that of ladies donning male
attire. The drawing-room is the scene of action.
One end of it is arranged for what it is to repre-
sent, as cleverly as means at command and time
will allow, and then the actors troop in and begin
to represent the scene chosen in the best way
that they can by their words and actions. The
chief actor should keep his eye on his sub-
ordinates during the performance ; he should move
about and keep up the conversation, as there
should never be a pause ; and when he sees their in-
ventive powers begin to flag, he should retire with
his company in as natural a manner as possible.
The scenes should not be of long duration, and the
amateurs should have all their wits about them,
to make the conversation as smart as possible;

Priva te The a tricals, i 7 9

never be tongue-tied or nervous ; and, above all,
they must have their risible muscles well under
command, so that if one of their companions raises
a laugh amongst the audience, either by grotesque
appearance or lively sallies, the other actors must
not be tempted to join. Indeed, those who wish
to act well must throw themselves entirely into
their characters. Charades are frequently per-
formed in dumb-show.

Tableaux vivanis require more time and care in
. the arrangements. It is possible to get them up
hastily; but to be really effective, rehearsals are
requisite. As the name denotes, they are pictures
merely, and therefore the costume and the position
are all that there is to study. The best plan is to
select some well-known painting, either with one
or several figures in it, and copy it as closely in
dress and attitude as may be, or a scene out of a
book or play. " Fortitude," one of Sir J. Reynolds'
paintings ; Paul de la Roche's " Marie Antoinette
returning from the Revolutionary Tribunal ; ''
"Reading the Newspaper," by Sir David Wilkie;
Ary Scheffer's well-known ** St. Augustine with his
mother, Ste. Monica,'' are good subjects for repre-
sentation. " King Alfred in the Neatherd's Cottage,"
;* The Princes in the Tower," " The Nobles offer-
ing the Crown to Lady Jane Grey," and many other
historical subjects, might be selected. Good illus-
trated editions of Shakespeare and other standard
books furnish an ample field for choice ; but care
should be taken to select subjects which differ as
widely as possible one from the other in character,
as the striking contrasts presented by varied tableaux
add greatly to the general effect. The figure or group
should be placed exactly like the original^ atCd
L 2

i8o Good Society.

should remain motionless — we might say breathless
— for the few moments during which the audi-
ence are permitted to gaze upon the living picture.
Tableaux should be acted in a room that has fold-
ing doors. These should be put back or taken off
the hinges, and a pair of curtains, which can be
drawn at the sides like window curtains, be arranged
across the opening ; for drapery arranged in this
manner adds greatly to the effect of the picture.
Behind these curtains stretch coarse green tarlatan,
doubled. This subdues and softens the light, which
ought to come from the side. The background
of the picture should be dark, so as to throw
out the figures in front. A large folding screen,
covered with some dark material, will answer this
purpose.

A wax-work exhibition is a species of tableaux
vivants which is now frequently acted. People are
dressed to represent different characters, and are
placed on an improvised platform, or in niches,
corners, window recesses, and different parts of a
room, into which the spectators are brought to see
the show. There should be someone well quali-
fied to describe each figure. After this has been
done, the exhibitor proceeds to wind up the
figures by clock-work. This idea is conveyed by
winding a watchman*s rattle slowly, or some other
such device. Each figure should then move some
part of the body slowly, and with a slightly spas-
modic action.

Private theatricals require more talent than either
of the two kinds of acting that we have described,
in that the actors have to learn their parts by heart.
Many rehearsals are necessary, and much patience
and perseverance are needful if the performance

PRIVA TE The A TRJCA LS, 1 8 1

is to be a success. They need not be costly
entertainments ; and when well carried out, none
give greater pleasure and amusement to all con-
cerned. It is absolutely necessary that a com-
mander-in-chief should be appointed, one who
will direct and supervise the whole affair. Amateur
actors are apt to be very enthusiastic at first, and
eagerly take the parts assigned to them (a very
delicate task, by the way, that of apportioning to
each one the roie which he or she is to play) ; they
begin industriously to learn their parts, repeat them
with great zest at the first rehearsal, and then too
often their zeal abates, and idleness creeps over
them, and the whipper-in has no small task in
urging them to complete the work begun, and to
make another effort with the half-learned part,
which at present the prompter has to repeat almost
verbatim.

Our early ancestors strewed their stages with
rushes, and before each act hung up the nawe of
the scene in lieu of the scene itself; but such
simplicity does not content us. We should deem so
primitive a performance very tame and uninterest-
ing. If the entertainment is to be carried out to
perfection, all that requires to be done in the way
of scenery and dresses is to write to a London
decorator and costumier, mentioning the plays that
are to be acted, and they will make all the neces-
sary arrangements for fitting up and providing
scenery and dresses. Every detail will be attended
to ; all difficulties will vanish. The following sug-
gestions, though somewhat theoretical and ideal,
might, we think, be made practicable, and, if so,
would add greatly to the tout ensemble, "The
stage scenery, orchestra, &c., should be planned on

1 82 Good Society,

a model new, original, and peculiar to themselves,'
so distinguished from our public theatres that they
should not strike the eye like a copy in miniature,
but as the independent sketch of a master who
disdains to copy. Many noble halls and stately
apartments in the great houses and castles of our
nobility would give an artist ample field for fancy.
Halls and saloons, flanked with interior columns,
and surrounded by galleries, would, with the aid
of proper draperies or scenery in the intercolumnia-
tions, take a rich and elegant appearance ; and at
the same time the music might be so disposed in
the gallery as to produce a most animating effect."

The same writer also suggests that the play itself
should only be a part of the entertainment, woven
into a grand fete, and that the spectators should
not be left to doze in their seats, but be called
upon in the intervals, by music, dance, and refresh-
ment, to change the sameness of the scene. If, on
the other hand, the expense of hiring the portable
theatre is an obstacle, or the distance from town is
too great, then the inventive faculties must be set
to work to supply the many requisites in scenery
and dress. " Cest des difficult^s que naissent des
miracles " (out of difficulties grow miracles), says
La Bruytire.

With the help of a carpenter great things may
be effected. The stage should be a platform, raised
some distance from the floor, and if possible should
slope slightly from back to front. A strip of board
a few inches high should run along the edge, at
the back of which are placed the footlights. For
these lights gas can be easily laid on from the
nearest pipe. If that convenience is not within
reach, then small oil-lamps or candles must supply

Private TnEATkicALs. 183

the want. Two curtains will answer the purpose
of a drop scene. These should be long and wide
enough to cover the whole front of the stage when
let down, and of some heavy texture. The proper
working of these curtains should be well ascertained
beforehand, or they are likely to cause awkward
dilemmas when they do not fall and rise instant-
aneously. The method to be adopted is to fasten
two cords where the two curtains meet in the
centre, and work them over hooks placed on the
top corners right and left. These cords should be
fastened to the curtains at intervals of a foot.

If modern plays are acted, not much stage
scenery need be used. The side screens can be
made of frames of wood covered with canvas.
Doors and windows can also be easily formed in
the same way. A great deal can be done with
screens.

In most play-books there is a full description of
the scenery required and the dresses requisite for
the different characters.

If the play chosen be one representing life in
bygone days, the costumes will be more difficult
to prepare at home, for so much satin, velvet,
gold and silver lace as our gaily, richly-clothed
ancestors wore do not generally form part of our
possessions. Dresses of this kind it is better to hire
from a costumier. It is wonderful, however, what
study and thought can produce, and what brilliant
ideas spring up when one is forced by necessity
to invent something. I read the other day an
account of some theatricals acted on board ship a
thousand miles from any shop, so wits were forced
to devise, and did devise, wonders. " Once,'' says
the writer (Lady Barker), " we manufactured some

184 CooD Society,

large silver buttons for an old-fashioned coat out
of the round pieces of white metal which cover
the corks of soda-water bottles ; we polished them
up till they shone brightly. Then we cut them
into shape, and punched a couple of holes in the
centre, which made them at once brilliant and
beautiful buttons, all ready to be sewed on. Upon
the same occasion we required a * black lutestring
figured blue.' This nearly drove us distracted ;
for although there were dozens of old black silk
dresses on board, not one had any figures. At last
the happy idea came into someone's head to
borrow a set of paste cutters from the cook and
some light blue tissue paper from the steward.
We stamped out a number of little shamrocks
with one of the cutters, and then pasted them all
over the silk gown. The effect was beautiful.
Beards and wigs we made out of unravelled yarn.
They looked rather too curly, but we powdered
them well with flour.'*

CHAPTER XVI.

GARDEN PARTIES.

• • What sport shall we devise here in the gai'den
To diive away the heavy thought oT care ?
Madam, we'll play at bowls ;
Madam, we'll dance." Richard II,

The chief thing required to make a garden party
enjoyable is fine weather, a bright, sunshiny, calm
day, when the mere pleasure of being out of doors
almost compensates for the lack of other adjuncts.
This special enjoyment we cannot insure for our
guests, but there are other pleasures which lie within
our compass of provision. See that the gardens
and grounds are in perfect order— not a leaf to be
seen on the neatly-cut, freshly-rolled lawns and
walks ; not a single weed in the trim flower-beds.
Tents of various picturesque forms can be erected
here and there for refreshments ; a small band of
musicians with stringed instruments, or a company
of glee-singers hidden from general view, can dis-
course sweet music at intervals, and enliven the
scene. A lawn-tennis ground (two or more such
spaces if possible) should be provided for the amuse-
ment of tennis players, of whom in the present day
there are always a considerable number amongst

1 86 Good Society,

garden-party guests. Tea, coffee, and cakes of many
kinds should be in readiness for the guests on
their arrival, and later, these should be replaced
by ices, claret-cup, strawberries, grapes, peaches,
melons, and the like.

The greater number of people invited to a garden
party the better. Then friends meet friends — a
desirable end, as introductions are not made.

As soon as the guests arrive they are conducted
to the garden, where they find the hostess near
the entrance of the garden or some particular tent
— any place that is a convenient position for receiv-
ing her visitors before they pass on and mingle
with the other guests. The hostess has no onerous
duties to perform on an occasion of this kind, as
no introductions are made. Having received her
guests, she is permitted to desert her post and
enjoy the company of her friends, unfettered by
the thought of any duty, except the pleasant one
of saying a few words to each one of her guests ;
nor need she be disturbed for the bidding of
adieuXy a formality which is not required at these
informal gatherings.

There is a duty which devolves upon the host or
upon the son of the house; failing these, it must be
undertaken by a specially-appointed friend, or by a
daughter of the house. This duty is to direct in
some measure the games on the tennis-lawn. Many
\ tennis parties are dull and spiritless owing to this
want of supervision. It is essential that a chief
should arrange sets, should go about amongst the
guests — who, if they are players, are generally to be
found watching the games — and ask them if they
have played, or would like to do so. Guests who
are strangers to each other often do not come

Garden Parties, 187

forward to arrange games, and thus it sometimes
happens that the ground is unused for a length of
time, although there are numbers of ladies all the
while longing to play ; and it also sometimes
happens that one set of tennis players take pos-
session of a ground, and play set after set, to the
exclusion of other players. These drawbacks to
general enjoyment can and should be prevented

Garden parties begin about four o'clock, and
unless mention is especially made of dancing, the
company separates between seven and eight.

It is well to specify on the card of invitation the

nature of the entertainment, in order that the

guests may be attired accordingly. At the fetes

chanipetres given by Queen Anne, the guests were

expected to sail about in full dress ; and as a view

of the Broad Walk at Kensington, which was the

favourite promenade, could be commanded from

Hyde Park, the poor commonalty could have a

peep, and could criticise the high-born guests who

glided about the garden in ** brocaded robes,

hoops, fly-caps, and fans."

The present fashion is to wear morning dress,
but as picturesque as you please ; indeed, the
ladies should look like butterflies fluttering about ;
if archery is to be the amusement, a different
costume is required from that worn for lawn-tennis ;
and if a dance is to end the day, then the style of
dress would again be altered, though it would
never diverge into "full dress." When the sun
shows his face, a garden party is one of the
prettiest sights imaginable — the smooth green turf,
with its bright bordering of flowers ; the gaily-
dressed company reposing under shady trees,
pacing the sward, darting hither and thither on the

1 88 Good Societv.

lawn-tennis ground, or displaying their prowess at
the target, the whole

• • Canopied by the blue skv,
So cloudless, pure, and beautiful."

If this entertainment be a country one, the
guests adjourn to the house at sunset, and there
partake of a substantial supper, after which they
drive home ; or the day is concluded by a moon-
light dance on the lawn, or in one of the tents,
and the garden and grounds are sometimes illu-
minated with Chinese lanterns and small coloured
lamps hung in festoons from the trees, which make
the evening scene as picturesque as that of the
morning.

CHAPTER XVII.

EXCURSIONS AND PICNICS.

Why People enjoy Picnics — Private Picnics — Conveyance of
Guests and of Provisions — Subscription Picnic - Election
and Duties of a Manager — Things not to be forgotten —
Provisions and Beverages — Tea.

" Nor rural sights alone, but rural sounds.
Exhilarate the spirit, and restore
The tone of languid nature."

Cowper,

*' The days when we went a-gypsying,
A long time ago."

Old Song.

There are plenty of people who enjoy picnics
besides the children for whose benefit ihey are
generally supposed to be arranged. Rural sights
and rural sounds, when all nature is alive and gay
in the glad summer time, have a happy and genial
effect on the most misanthropical of persons; then,
too, the absence of all state and ceremony, the
liberty, the entire change and freedom from etiquette,
conduce to gaiety of spirit and mirth. After all,
it is the novelty which is the great charm, for the
same set of people whom you now see making
merry over the salt and the sugar having fraternised
by the way, and who now declare it to be the summit
of human felicity to sit in an uncomfortable position

190 Good Society,

upon something never intended to be a seat, beside
a table-cloth which, being spread upon an uneven
and elastic surface, causes everything that should
remain perpendicular to assume a horizontal atti-
tude — these same people would grumble loudly did
such things occur daily. At the end of a week
they would be seriously annoyed and put out of
temper by the reappearance of the inevitable frog
which they now laugh at so heartily as it hops
across the table-cloth, and, losing its presence of
mind on finding itself so suddenly launched into
fashionable life, seeks refuge in the heart of a
pigeon pie. Such little contretemps add im-
mensely to the liveliness and hilarity of a picnic,
because, coming but once in a way, they can
hardly be looked upon as discomforts.

It might be imagined that as a picnic is a kind
of scramble, there can be but few arrangements
to make, but in reality an excursion of this kind
entails much labour and thought on the " getters-
up." There are private picnics and subscription
ones. Speaking of the former, the first thing to
plan, after the place is fixed upon, must be how to
convey your guests there. If possible, they should
go in different ways ; some in carriages of various de-
scriptions, large wagonettes being the pleasantest ;
some on horseback; some by boat, it may be;
but never in a long procession, reminding one of
the string of vans full of children, or members of
various benefit clubs going to Epping Forest or
Bushey Park for the day, who wave their pocket-
handkerchiefs at each passer-by in a friendly way,
and are never weary of the perpetual twang of the
two or three instruments which accompany them.
We have known pleasant parties to be arranged by

Excursions and Picnics, 191

railway, when a saloon carriage has been engaged
for the occasion, although the very name seems to
put an end to all idea of rural enjoyment.

The provisions should have a separate vehicle
allotted to them, and not be scattered about in the
different carriages, a basket stowed away in one
corner, a hamper thrust under another seat, and so
forth. Na; a light cart is the best kind of convey-
ance for the delicacies. There are now very con^
venient hampers made for the better packing and
conveying of provisions to these alfresco entertain-
ments, so that the pies and the patties do not present
such a depressed appearance as heretofore, and the
cayenne is not so likely to mingle indiscriminately
with things in general, and the sweets in particular,
as "in the days when we went gypsy ing." I'he
meats, pies, &c., should all be wrapped in clean
cloths. The servants — not too many, please, or
we shall have too much state and ceremony —
accompanying the cart should start in good time,
so as to be at the destination when the company
arrives, for it is best to dine or tea, whichever it
may be, immediately, and disperse at pleasure after-
wards. If children have a voice in the matter, tea
is chosen, for the delight of making the fire is
intense, in spite of the blinding, suffocating smoke
which is the invariable accompaniment. At the
end of the chapter will be found a list of things
which may be taken to a picnic. Of course, all the
provisions are cooked beforehand, except it may be
that potatoes are roasted, or, if possible, a dish of
hot fish is prepared on the spot.

When a subscription picnic is decided upon, a
manager or manageress should be elected, and he
or she should devise a plan for equally dividing the

192 Good Society.

duty of providing, and also of sharing the respon-
sibilities of the day. Unless this is done, the
greatest confusion will ensue, for people's ideas run
singularly in one direction. When the time arrives
for unpacking the baskets, it will be found that
everybody has brought forks, and no one has
thought of spoons ; pigeon pies — which seem asso-
ciated in everybody's mind with picnics — will come
out of every hamper, while the plainer and more
substantial dishes, such as lamb and beef, have not
been remembered. A list should be made and
given to each contributor a few days beforehand
of things for which he or she will be held respon-
sible, and this should be so arranged that each
should bring some of the crockery or glass, as
well as eatables. It is also better that one
person should provide all that is required of one
kind, than that several should be supplied by the
same individual. For instance, one person might
be asked to contribute all the fruit as their share,
and be responsible for the appearance of all the
plates required ; another supply the joints of meat,
together with knives and forks ; a third, the pastry
and the glass ; another, the rolls of bread, cheese,
and the silver, and so on. The gentlemen of the
party generally contribute the beverages, and they
might have their division — one bring sherry, another
the bottled beer, a third soda-water, and so on.
Two or three corkscrews ought to be taken, and a
small gong is useful to collect the party together,
either for the meal itself or the departure. Mint
sauce and salad dressing in bottles, pounded sugar,
and the other condiments, mustard, salt, and
pepper, should be particularly remembered.

For an out-door luncheon, the following list of

Excursions and Picnics. 193

provisions will be found the most suitable : — Cold
roast beef, ribs and shoulder of lamb, roast fowls,
ducks, ham, pressed tongue; beefsteak, pigeon,
and grouse pies, game, veal patties*, lobsters, cucum-
bers and lettuces for salad, cheese-cakes, jam or
marmalade turnovers, stewed fruit in bottles, bottle
of cream, college puddings, blancmange in mould,
plain biscuits to eat with fruit and cheese, rolls,
butter, cream cheese, and fresh fruit. Bottled beer
and porter, claret, sherry, champagne, soda-water,
lemonade, cherry-brandy.

For tea : — Loaves of bread, sponge-cakes, plum-
cakes, buns, rolls, butter, potted fish and meats,
tongue, cheese-cakes, plain and sweet biscuits,
fruits, bottle of cream, and tea. It is useless to
attempt to make coffee on an occasion of this kind,
unless the company is capable of appreciating the
fragrant berry in its best form, i.e., Turkish coffee,
which can be made to perfection in an ordinary
saucepan, wherein it should be allowed just to
come to boiling point three times in succession,
and then served while the rich brown foam is still
on the surface.

CHAPTER XVIII.

FIELD SPORTS AND AMUSEMENTS.

Field Sports — Hunting — Shooting — Fishing ^Boating —

Tricycling —Skating.

' ' We'll make you some sport with the fox
Ere we case him."

AlVs Well that Ends Well,

"God made the country and man made the town."

Cowper,

" Mens sana in corpore sano," Juvenal tells us, is
the greatest gift bestowed, by the gods, and modern
science has proved clearly enough that the body
acts on the mind as well as vice versd — that our
mental faculties are seldom able fully to develop
themselves into perfect action unless the body be
in a healthy state.

Now we do not intend to enter into a learned
disquisition as to all the means by which these
crazy frames of ours are kept in good repair, but
to assert boldly that one great aid towards pre-
serving them in proper order lies in the judicious
use of field sports and amusements.

Corroding, carking care vanishes into thin air
when the ardent lover of these pursuits gives
himself thoroughly up for the nonce to the en-
joyment of them. What more exhilarating sound

Field Sports and Amusements, 195

than the sonorous yelping of the hounds giving
tongue, or the yet more joyful shout, "Gone
away ! " —

' ' When a southerly wind and a cloudy sky
Proclaim it a hunting morning."

What town-wearied man does not feel refreshed
and reinvigorated as he climbs the hills with a
gun on his shoulder and a dog at his heels ? and for
the time being is not his one wish —

' ' Give me the naked heavens above.
The broad bare heath below " ?

The angler, boater, and skater each experiences
keen enjoyment from his own particular pastime.
Field sports have always proved the best corrector
of that "effeminacy which refined luxury is apt
to produce," and it is a happy circumstance when
a taste prevails for such amusements as, while
they add grace, health, and vigour to the body,
have " no tendency to enfeeble and corrupt the
mind."

The sport par excellence of the Englishman is
hunting, and the English are the only nation who
will ride hard at the chase. Dr. Johnson, who
followed the fox with as much glee as anybody,
says a Frenchman goes out upon a managed horse,
and capers in the field, and no more thinks of
jumping a hedge than of mounting a breach ; and
he relates an anecdote of a certain Lord Powers-
court who laid a wager in France that he would
ride a great many miles in a certain short space of.
time. Thereupon it appears the French Acade-
micians set to work, and calculated that from the
M 2

196 Good Soc/etv.

resistance of the air it was an impossibility ! How-
ever, his English lordship performed the feat

Nor is this sport confined to gentlemen alone.
Many a fair lady may be seen on her well-groomed,
glossy-coated hunter, following the hounds.

At one period the chase of the stag was highly
popular in Britain, and our countrywomen had hunt-
ing expeditions on their own account. Sketches
of these " fast " ladies are by no means rare. I have
seen one copied from a manuscript of the fourteenth
century, which depicts a huntress seated astride on
her palfrey, and blowing a horn to cheer her dog
and stimulate her archeress. The latter answers
the call by planting an arrow between the horns
of a stag.

And at a later date Englishwomen still continued
to attend the chase. Our good Queen Bess was
a lover of this sport ; and Queen Anne was an in-
defatigable huntress, so much so that when her
failing health obliged her to discontinue equestrian
exercise, she followed the chase in a light one-horse
chaise in which she had been known to drive herself
forty and fifty miles during the day.

When the stag was brought to bay it was con-
sidered a mark of gallantry on the part of one of
the hunters to offer the fatal weapon to some fair
huntress, who thus had the privilege of cutting the
deer's throat, a feat which required not only a sharp
double-edged hunting-knife, but a steady arm and
strong nerve, for it was a task by no means devoid
of danger. In the " Bride of Lammermoor " we
read, " It was not without a feeling bordering upon
j::ontempt that the enthusiastic hunter observed
Lucy Ashton refused the hunter's knife presented
t,o her, for the purpose of making the first incision

Field Sports and Amusements. 197

into the stag's breast, and thereby discovering the
quality of the venison."

Our fair sisters of the present day are not guilty
of such sanguinary deeds, but show their bravery
by leaping ditch and hedge, and often being " in
at the death," and so receiving as a tribute of
praise the brush of- Master Reynard from the
hands of some gallant gentleman of the hunt.

A lady's hunting dress is plain and useful, but a
very becoming one withal. It consists of a dark-
coloured tight-fitting habit, made with a very short
skirt, or it will get sadly bespattered with mud. A
plain linen collar is worn round the throat, fastened
by a stud. Linen cuffs and tan-leather gloves finish
the costume. The description of hat worn is a
matter of choice. Some ladies wear the high-
crowned beaver, and some prefer the low-crowned
felt hat. Of late years, many ladies have taken to
wear " pink " coats fashioned on the lines of a man's
hunting coat ; and very smart the scarlet coat looks
with a dark habit skirt. Others are satisfied with a
scarlet waistcoat, and in any case where a coat is
worn the greatest care must be taken as to the
proper tying of the hunting scarf that should finish
off the neck. Sometimes when ladies have exhi-
bited their ** straight riding" for a certain length of
time with a pack of hounds, the master will present
them with ** the button " of the hunt, and then they
are entitled to wear the colours of that particular
hunt — say a blue coat with buff facings, or dark
green and scarlet, as the case happens to be.

The gentlemen's dress depends upon the fashion
of the particular hunt of which they are members,
as each has its peculiar costume ; but the ordinary
dress of a hunting man is either a scarlet or a dark-

198 Good Society.

green coat, cut square (for the swallow-tail is obso-
lete), knee-breeches made of white or drab " cords,"
top-boots, and a tall hat, or a cap of black velvet,
with a small stiff peak. Spurs must not be for-
gotten, and a scarf of cashmere, fastened by a pin,
will be found more convenient wear and look more
suitable than a tie. But it is not proper for a man
to appear in ** pink " or green, unless he is a regular
member of some hunt, and is a bond, fide hunting
man, who means to ride straight across country.

The place appointed for the "meet" is duly
advertised in the newspapers. The first and last of
the season generally take place at the residence
of the master of the hounds. Our forefathers
threw off the pack as soon as they could distinguish
a stile from a gate. They had six o'clock break-
fasts ; while we, more indolent and luxurious, do
not dream of appearing at the rendezvous before
ten a.m., and after a hard day's run are quite
ready for a hearty dinner at eight p.m.

Shooting parties are organised as follows ; —
The gentlemen, habited in rough, thick coats,
knickerbockers, thick stockings and leggings, and
substantial boots, start, after a hearty breakfast,
with dogs and keepers to shoot grouse, partridge,
or pheasant, as the case may be. Some convenient
place is appointed whereat to meet for luncheon,
and to this spot the ladies of the household often
repair, and a very pleasant hour is spent in dis-
cussing game-pie, patties, and cold beef, beer, and
champagne, at these alfresco luncheons. After an
hour's chat, and the consumption of a cigar or so,
the gentlemen resume their work of destruction,
and the ladies either watch them at a respectful
distance or drive homewards. If they choose the

Field Sports and Amusements. 199

former alternative, they should take great care not
to wander away. On a moor there is not so much
danger of accidents happening in this way, but
when pheasant-shooting is the sport we think that
ladies are better out of the way, unless they are
very tractable, and obediently follow close on the
track of the sportsmen.

" Fishing, and particularly that branch of it
called angling, calls forth considerable powers of
invention and much dexterity of practice," says the
"Angler's Guide." Every year the number of
lady-anglers increases, and some of the best re-
cords -in salmon-fishing on the Scotch rivers are
annually made by women. A kilt skirt of rough
tweed unhemmed, and reaching a little below the
knee, over a pair of tweed knickerbockers to
match, a Norfolk jacket with plenty of pockets,
ribbed wobllen stockings, stout low-heeled shoes,
and a deerstalker cap, form the best and most work-
manlike costume for a woman to go fishing in.

Fishing parties on the banks of some broad,
deep, well-stocked river, where the fish are not too
sensitive to the chatter and laughter of the anglers,
may be made very enjoyable. ■ A man should be
taken for the purpose of baiting the hooks and
taking off the fish when caught. Then, if the sport
is good, the hours fly quickly and pleasantly by.
Luncheon is brought, and if a fire can be made,
and some of the freshly-caught fish cooked, the en-
tertainment is complete. The gentlemen of the
party should always be ready to lay down their
rods and render help to any lady who may require
it — ^in the matter of disentangling lines, re-arranging
floats, putting together rods.

In boating, gentlemen should always attend to

/

2 CO Good Society.

the comfort as well as the safety of ladies who
may place themselves under their protection. One
gentleman should stay in the boat and do his best
to steady it, while the other helps the ladies to step
from the bank. They should then be comfortably
seated, and their dresses arranged so as to be in
no danger of getting wet, before a start is made.
As the seat of honour in a boat is that occupied
by the stroke oar, it is etiquette for the owner of
the boat to offer it to his friend should he be a
rower.

Cycling is a much more modern pastime than
those hitherto mentioned. It is an amusement
the fashion for which has ebbed and flowed during
the last ten years. Latterly, the various superior
inventions amongst the machines which have been
brought forward have fanned the flame of en-
thusiasm, and cycling has become one of the chief
diversions of the day, and one in which ladies now
join. A medical authority of high standing gives
it as his opinion that exercise of this kind is equally
beneficial to both sexes, and expresses a hope that
this amusement will soon become as popular
among ladies as tennis and the dance. A lady's
tricycling dress consists of a plain skirt, made
sufficiently wide to allow the feet free play without
causing them to draw up the dress by their action,
and yet not so wide as to permit the skirt to hang
in folds or flap in the wind. A Norfolk jacket,
made to fit neatly but not tightly to the figure,
cut low round the throat to allow the neck free
action. Both skirt and jacket should be made of
a woollen material, and one that is porous and of
light weight A soft silk handkerchief is worn
round the neck, which will hide the absence of

Field Sports and Amusements, 201

collar and brooch. Shoes, having firm but not
heavy soles, and a close-fitting soft hat made of the
same material as the dress, complete the costume.
The dress for a gentleman is knickerbockers, and
a short coat buttoned up the front ; stockings
ribbed, and knitted of thick wool; shoes with
stout soles ; a cap with peaks at the front and
back, made, like the suit, of porous woollen ma-
terial, or an ordinary straw hat. A light silk hand-
kerchief loosely tied round the neck should take
the place of a stiff collar and tie.

stating is another amusement in which ladies
join, and which in some parts of the country is
looked forward to as a delightful certainty. A
temperature below zero is hailed with delight, and
the belles and the beaux alike hasten to " visit the
icy scenes, and mock the terrors of the frost." In
days of yore the maidens contented themselves with
watching the skaters, but now they are as fleet as any
Laplander or Hollander. " When the greate fenne
or moore is frozen," says an old chronicler, de-
scribing a skating-scene in the vicinity of London,
" many younge men play on the yce. Some stryd-
ing as wide as they may, doe slide swiftly. Some
tye bones to their feete and under their heeles, and,
shoving themselves by a Httle picked staffe, do
slide as swiftly as a birde flyeth in the air or an
arrow out of a crosse bow." A gentleman should
carry the lady's skates if he be her walking com-
panion. He will find her a chair, and fasten on
her skates ; guide, support, and instruct her at first
if she be a novice in the art ; and, in short, be as
chivalrous in his behaviour as any knight in the
olden time. The ladies, on their side, must not
tax the patience of their instructors too severely.

202 Good Society.

It is sometimes days before they are able to stand
upon their skates or dare to venture without a
strong arm to lean upon for fear of a fall. Let
them practise by themselves on some small pond,
where a tumble will hurt neither them nor their
modesty. •

CHAPTER XIX.

THE COURT.

St. James's and Buckingham Palaces — Who may be Pre-
sented — Ladies' Court Dress — Gentlemen's Court Dress
— Rules and Regulations — The Drawing-Room — The
Levee — The Irish Court— Court Mourning.

let me kiss my Sovereign's hand,

And bow my knee before his majesty."

Richard II,

" 2nd Gentleman — You saw the ceremony ?
jr^.— That I did.
I St. — How was it ?
jrd. — Well worth seeing.
2«rf.— Good Sir, speak it to us.
3rd. — As well as I am able."

Henry VIII.

The extreme formality of Court etiquette, and the
strict observance which must be paid to all its
rules, will of necessity render this chapter of in-
formation regarding it a very precise and formal
one.

The Queen now holds her drawing-rooms and
levees at Buckingham Palace, the State apartments
there being more spacious than those at St. James's
Palace, where they were formerly held. Levees
are still held at St. James's Palace by the Prince
of Wales. This palace was originally a hospital
for lepers. It was purchased by Henry VI IL,

204 Good Society.

who altered it, and made it as it now stands.
After the destruction of the Palace of Whitehall, in
1695, St. James's became the town residence of
our Sovereigns, and continued to be so up to the
accession of our Queen in 1837, when the Court
took up its abode at Buckingham Palace.

Ladies and gentlemen who wish to be presented
to their Sovereign at a drawing-room or levde can
only obtain the honour through one of their ac-
quaintances who has previously been presented.
It will be seen by the Lord Chamberlain's Regula-
tions that the one who presents must also appear
at Court as well as the one presented ; so that this
rule, together with other reasons, which may be
easily divined, makes it a matter of delicacy for one
person to ask the favour of another, unless they
are relatives or very intimate friends. Her Majesty
is graciously accessible to all persons of rank and
title, provided they bear a good character in society ;
but it would be in vain for any lady to sue for
admittance into the Courtly circle, however high
her rank, if there were the least stain upon her
reputation. The wives and daughters of the clergy,
naval and military officers, of physicians, barristers,
and bankers, may also be presented, provided their
conduct is sans reproche.

The dress worn on these occasions, both by the
ladies and gentlemen, has quite a distinctive fea-
ture of its own, and therefore the descriptions are
placed in this chapter instead of that headed " The
Toilet." The Court dress of the lady consists of
petticoat, bodice, and train. The petticoat is of
silk, with tulle or lace trimmings, made long, and
is in reality like the skirt of an ordinary ball dress.
The bodice, which is made quite low, w^ith short

The Court. 205

sleeves, and of ihe same material as the petticoat,
is trimmed to match that garment. The train is
of great length and breadth, and is worn falling
either from the waist or shoulders. It is made of
a more costly and handsome material than the
other part of the dress ; velvet or satin is chosen,
and it is trimmed with lace, and feathers or flowers
to correspond. The head-dress consists of feathers
and lace lappets, or a veil of white tulle, and the
hair is ornamented with diamonds or other pre-
cious stones. The other portions of the costume —
the shoes, the fan, and the gloves, which must be
white — should all be consistent with " full dress. *'

As to the Court dress of the gentlemen, that
which came to us in the days of the early Georges,
the costume of Louis Quinze, remains for the most
part as the Court dress of to-day.

This dress — which retains the main feature of
the period of 1700 — consists of coat and knee-
breeches of plum-coloured cloth, ornamented with
steel buttons ; a white waistcoat, embroidered in
colours; an elaborately frilled shirt; pink silk
stockings ; shoes with diamond or steel buckles ;
and a sword, which hangs suspended by a steel
chain to the hilt. Lastly comes the cocked hat,
and the outer man is complete.

Various attempts have been made to discard
this dress, and of late years a newer style has been
substituted, and instead of the plum-coloured cloth
some gentlemen wear black silk velvet coat,
breeches, and waistcoat, ornamented with gilt or
silver buttons, with which the shoe-buckles and
sword correspond. Naval and military men appear
in their uniforms, bishops and dignitaries of the
Church in their robes.

2o6 Good Society,

REGULATIONS TO BE OBSERVED AT THE QUEEN's
DRAWING ROOM AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE.

By her Majesty's command. — The ladies who
propose to attend her Majesty's drawing-room at
Buckingham Palace are requested to bring with
them two large cards, with their names clearly
written thereon ; one to be left with the Queen's
page in attendance in the corridor, and the other
to be delivered to the Lord Chamberlain, who will
announce the name to the Queen.

PRESENTATIONS.

Any lady who proposes to be presented must
leave at the Lord Chamberlain's office, St. James's
Palace, before twelve o'clock, two clear days pre-
vious to that on which the drawing-room is held,
a card with her name written thereon, and one with
the name of the lady by whom she is to be pre-
sented. In order to carry out the existing regula-
tion, that no presentation can be made at a draw-
ing-room excepting by a lady actually attending
the Court, it is also necessary that an intimation
from the lady who is to make the presentation of
her intention to be present should accompany the
presentation card above referred to, which will be
submitted to the Queen for her Majesty's ap-
probation. It is her Majesty's command that
no presentation shall be made at the drawing-
room except in accordance with the above regula-
tions.

It is particularly requested that in every case the
names be very distinctly written upon the cards to
be delivered to the Lord Chamberlain, in order

The Court, 207

that there may be no difficulty in announcing them
to the Queen.

It is not expected that gentlemen will present
themselves at drawing-rooms, except in attendance
upon the ladies of their families.

Any gentleman who, under these circumstances,
should desire to be presented to the Queen wiil
observe the same regulations as are in force for
her Majesty's levies.

The State apartments will be open for the recep-
tion of the company coming to Court at two
o'clock.

These regulations apply equally to gentlemfen
and ladies. Directions at what gate to enter, and
where the carriages are to set down, are always
printed in the newspapers.

The ceremony of presentation is as follows : —

On getting out of the carriage, everything in
the shape of shawl or cloak is left behind. The
train is carried over the left arm. When the lady's
turn for presentation comes, she proceeds to the
Presence Chamber or Throne Room, and on enter-
ing it lets down the train, which is instantly spread
out by the lords-in- waiting with their wands.
The card on which the lady's name is written
is then handed to the Lord Chamberlain, who
reads the name aloud to the Queen. The lady
advances to the Queen, and when she arrives
just before her Majesty curtseys very low, so low
as almost to kneel to the Queen, who, if the lady
presented be a peeress or a peer's daughter, kisses
her forehead ; but, in the case of a commoner, her
Majesty holds out her hand to be kissed by the
lady presented. The lady then rises, and making
a curtsey to any members of the Royal Family who

2o8 Good Society.

may be present, passes on, keeping her face towards
the Queen, until she has passed out of the door
appointed for those leaving the Presence Chamber.

The ceremony for gentlemen attending the
Queen's lev^e is the same, with the exception that
they kneel down on one knee on arriving before
her Majesty, and kiss her hand. At levies held by
the Prince of Wales the gentlemen bow and retire.

Presentations at the Irish Court differ in a few
particulars of ceremony from those made at the
English Court. Levies are held at the same time,
but drawing-rooms take place in the evening at
nine o'clock.

The same style of dress is required. The train
is carried over the arm until the wearer reaches the
Presence Chamber, when an aide-de-camp arranges
the train. If the lady is presented^ the Lord-Lieu-
tenant kisses her cheek ; she makes a curtsey and
retires, but not backwards. If she is only attending
the drawing-room, she curtseys and passes on.

The gentlemen attending the Lord-Lieutenant*s
levee bow on being presented. If any of those
attending the drawing-room or levee are intimate
with the Lord-Lieutenant, he shakes hands with
them.

National mourning is ordered when a king or
queen dies. The whole country is expected to
show their respect in that way ; but only black is
required. The material is not specified, and crape
is not worn. Until the present century, Court
mourning for a king or queen in England was worn
for a whole year as if for a parent. When the
Court is ordered into mourning, on the death of
any member or connection of the Royal Family,
the dress required (which is generally of silk), anc}

The Court. 209

the length of time it is to be worn (usually three
weeks), is published in the newspapers. "For
the encouragement of our English silks/' says a
chronicler of Queen Anne's day, " his Royal High-
ness the Prince of Denmark and the nobility appear
in mourning hatbands made of that silk, to bring
the same into fashion, in the place of crapes, which
are made in the Pope's couhtry, whither we send
our money for them."

N

(

CHAPTER XX.

DEATH.

Things to lie done immediately upon a Death — Old Customs
— The Funeral — The Mourners — The Service — Reading
of the Will — Inquiries by Friends — Acknowledgment —
The Sunday after the Funeral — Monuments.

" The glories of our birth and state
Are shadows, not substantial things.
There is no armour against fate ;
Death lays his icy hand on kings.
Sceptre and crown
Must tumble down,
And in the dust be equal made
With the poor crooked scythe and spade."

/. Shirley, 1620.

The " end of all things " is death. That stern
reaper cuts down alike the bearded grain and the
flowers that grow between. With his keen sickle
he lays low old and young, the king and the
peasant. All fall lifeless before him, and "their
years come to an end as it were a tale that is told.*'
When the dread moment has come and the spirit
has taken its flight, some relative or friend under-
takes to perform the necessary offices.

The coffin should be ordered without delay.
It should be made of plain elm or oak, and
lined with white jean. All the black, heathenish
furniture with which cofllins are often defaced

Death, 211

should be discarded. The handles should either
be plain rings of galvanised iron or of brass. At
the lower end of the lid should be a white metal or
brass plate, with the name, age, and date of death
of the deceased.

Another immediate duty is to write to all rela-
tions and intimate friends and inform them of the
death, and to send a notice of it for insertion in
newspapers. This must be prepaid. The charge
for such notice varies in different papers.

The arrangements for the funeral are generally
directed by the head of the family, who expresses
his wishes to an undertaker, and leaves the superin-
tendence of the minor details in his hands. The
love of parade and show which used to attend even
these sad ceremonials has in a very great measure
been put down by good taste ; but it is advisable
to be particularly explicit on that point, or the
undertakers may carry out their ideas, which are too
frequently for ostentatious display and the very
reverse of simplicity.

Until very recently, it has been the general
custom to supply crape scarfs and long crape hat-
bands to the mourners, and silk scarfs and hat-
bands, as well as gloves, to the friends, officiating
clergymen, and bearers. At funerals of children
and young girls, these scarfs were either of white
silk, or of black silk tied with white ribbon. These
special habiliments are now very rarely exhibited,
and are rapidly falling into disuse.

About a hundred years ago the practice of laying
the dead in state was very general, not for kings and
great personages alone, but the bodies of merchants
and tradesmen were also laid out amidst black
velvet hangings. The coffin was surrounded by

212 Good SocfETV.

lighted candles, the doors of the houses were thrown
operii and for several days the neighbours and
general public were allowed to pass in and out to
look at the corpse. Then after the funeral came
the feast — for so the meal was called— of which all
who had attended the funeral partook. Great
numbers of friends and acquaintances were invited,
sometimes as many as sixty or eighty to an ordinary
funeral. Amongst the poor, the viands distributed
at these feasts were cake and cheese, stewed prunes,
and cold possets. The higher classes sat down to
a dinner, which very often took place at an hotel.

There are many other customs which seem
strange indeed to us now, and yet were in use in
the last century, such as placing a plate of salt on
the dead — salt being the emblem of eternity and
immortality — carrying garlands of artificial flowers,
intermixed with gilded empty egg-shells — emblems,
it may be, of the hollowness of this life — before the
funeral procession, and which were then hung in
some conspicuous part of the church ; placing an
hour-glass inside the coffin ; and one other singular
custom, which, although savouring strongly of
heathenish superstition, was observed in some
nooks of England until quite lately, and that was
as follows :— Poor people were hired to take upon
them the sins of the deceased. When the corpse
was brought out of the house and laid upon the
bier, a loaf of bread, a mazard bowl full of beer, and
a piece of money were delivered over the coffin to
the sin-eater, who, in consideration of these gifts,
took upon himself, ipso factOy all the sins of the
defunct, and freed him or her from walking after
death. Time has swept all these superstitious
observances almost entirely away.

Death. 213

Hitherto it has not been usual for any of the
female members of the family to attend the funeral,
but if they feel strong enough, and can keep their
grief within due bounds, let not the thought of
what is customary prevent them from following their
lost one to the grave, and from having the consola-
tion of that most beautiful service of the Church for
the burial of the dead. The dress of the chief
mourners is, for ladies, woollen materials trimmed
with crape — these are the only two materials worn
at a funeral; and for gentlemen, black suits and
ties, black kid gloves, and a band of black cloth
round the hat.

At the time appointed, which is generally in the
morning hours, those who are invited to attend the
funeral proceed to the house. The invitations
usually extend only to the particular friends of the
deceased, and the family doctor and lawyer.

They assemble in the dining-room or librar)',
when the undertaker gives a pair of gloves to each
on his arrival. The ladies of the house do not
appear until the mournful procession is ready to
start, when they go direct from their own rooms to
the mourning-coaches which are appointed to con-
vey them. The nearest relatives of the deceased
or representatives of the family follow, according to
their degrees of kinship, next to the hearse, then
the more distant ones, then friends, and often the
procession is completed by the empty and closed
carriages of acquaintances who are desirous to show
their respect to the deceased and the bereaved
family. The coffin is carried into the church and
placed in the chancel. The funeral party have seats
allotted to them in the same part. When the first
part of the service is concluded, the clergyman

214 Good Society,

proceeds to the grave, followed by the bearers and
the mourners in the same order as they entered the
church. When the last sad rite is ended, the group
breaks up and disperses irregularly. The head of
the family or its representative goes to the vestry to
give the clergyman the particulars as to name and
age, necessary for the filling up of the register, and
also to pay the fees. The nominal fees differ in each
parish. The expense of the grave depends upon
whether a vault has been made, or whether it is a
new grave. In reality, no fees are due of common
right to the clergyman, but the immemorial custom
of each parish has sanctioned the payment, so that
they are always demanded. Three or four shillings
is the stated fee, but well-to-do people generally give
a piece of gold. We have here taken the Church of
England service as our example. Other religious
denominations have other rites, though the burial
service of the Church is most generally used by
all sects ; but, however that may be, all the social
observances would be the same in every case.
Only the family party return to the house. The
will is then read in the presence of them all by the
family lawyer.

A few years ago it was the custom for all who
had attended the funeral to assemble on the fol-
lowing Sunday and appear in church, wearing scarfs
and hatbands as on the day of the funeral. Pews
were set aside for them, so that they might all be
seated in a body. Now there is no ceremony of
that kind. The family go, and the officiating
clergyman wears a scarf over his surplice if one has
been given to him, but no display is made.

Friends and acquaintances express their sym-
pathy after the funeral by leaving or sending their

i>EATH, 215

cards, on which they wriie, underneath their name,
" With kind inquiries." When the family feel able
to receive callers, they acknowledge these cour-
tesies in a formal manner by sending printed cards,
such as this : —

Mrs. Wilson

returns thanks for

Mrs. Abbott's

kind inquiries.

A few words must be said about the monuments
placed in the churches, and of the graves themselves
in the churchyard or cemetery. Ofttimes the affec-
tion of those left behind is at a loss for means
wherewith to display its wonted solicitude, and
seeks consolation under sorrow in doing honour to
all that remains — the silent grave. It is only
natural ** that filial piety, parental tenderness, and
conjugal love should mark with some fond memo-
rial the clay-cold spot where the form, still fostered
in the bosom, moulders away." And did affection
go no further, who could censure? The wish of
Pope, that when he died not a stone might tell
where he lay, is a wish that would be granted witli
extreme reluctance. Though there is a classical
simplicity in the turf-clad heap of mould, yet
we would fain have something lasting, that
will be there, as we say, "for ever," something
to keep the spot from the common tread, and
the name green in the memory. So be it. Only,
let the record be a simple, unaffected one; do
not let vanity lead to an excess, sometimes, sad
to say, perfectly ludicrous. It may be said that
these things are out of date, that the good taste

2i6 Good Society.

of the nineteenth century forbids and has put
down all eulogiums, senseless rhymes, and doggerel
on gravestones. Not altogether. Pride, weakness,
and vanity still fight for display. Within the last two
or three years a monument has been placed in one
of the churches of a most learned and ancient city,
which records the fact, amongst other details, that
the deceased was "the largest single-handed brewer
out of London"! A marble monument, however
fine the sculpture and costly the material, with an
inscription such as this, is far more offensive and
outrageous to true taste than the wooden memorial
of the ignorant rustic, sculptured with painted bones
and decked with death's-heads in all the colours of
the rainbow. " It is better that the passer-by,
when he sees a name, should recollect the virtues
of its owner, than that his remarks should be antici-
pated by an obtruding narrative."

•* The boast of heraldry, the pomp of pow'r,

And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave.
Await alike the inevitable hour —
The paths of glory lead but to the grave."

Gray.

INDEX.

A PAGE

Affectation, Excessive, to be avoided 39

Amateur Acting ... 176

Apologising, Excessive, to be avoided 39

Attentions, Gentlemen's, to Ladies 4i» 42

B

Balls, Cloak Rooms at ... ... 172

, Decorations at ... ... ... ... 171

, Drawing-rooms at .. . ... 172

, Duties of Entertainers to Guests at 173

, Duties of Partners at ... 174

, Duties of Stewards at Public 166

— , Fancy Dress ... ... ... ... 167

, Introductions at Public 167

■ . i_<igiiis at ••• ... ... ... ••• ... •/*

, Management of Public ... ... ... ... i66'

, Music at ... ... ... ... ... ... 170

, Private ... ... ••• ••• • • ••• 168

• , Rooms necessary for 168

, Seasons for J64

— — , Tea Rooms at ^73

, Tickets for Public ... 166

Banns, To be Married by 97

Baptism, Private 28

, Public 28

Birth, Modem Customs on the occasion of a 27

, Old Custom on the occasion of a 25

Boating ... ... ... ... ... ... ••• 199

Bowing, Different Modes of ... 43

Breakfast, Arrangement of the Table for 118

— — , Dishes for, at different Seasons 121,122

2lS

Index.

PAGS

Breakfast, French

... 119

, Hunt and Sportsmen's

... 120

in the Olden Time ...

... 116

in the Present Day

117

, Wedding

... 119

, What to serve for

... 118

Bride, Bridegroom's Presents to a

... 99

, Costume of a

82, 83

Bridegroom, Gentle man'.s Dress as a

... 86

Bridesmaids ..;

... 95

, Bridegroom's Presents to the

... 99

, Costume of .. .

84

C

Cake an 1 Wine

... 68

Ca U, Length of a formal ...

67

Calling, Use of

62, 63

Calls, Ceremonies of ...

67,68

, Style of Dress when paying

78, 79

, When they should be paid

63, 64

Cards, How to leave

. ... 64

, M'^ern

. ... 6s

, When to send

. ... 65

v/arving ••• •«• ••• ••. .••

136

Ceremony, Extreme, to be avoided

36, 37

Chapel, To be Mirried at a Licensed ...

... 97

Chaperons, Dress of .;.

82

v^naracies ••• ... •>• >•. ... •

177

Christening, Ceremony of

30

, Entertainment given on day of . . .

32

y 1l ww9 lUi ••• ••• •• ••# •

31

Presents

29, 30

, Style of Dress appropriate for

78

Churching, The rite of

3«

Coffee, After Dinner

145

Confirmation

Zl

, Age required for

Zl

, Ceremony of

35

, Dress necessary for

Zl

, Preparation for

Zl

Conversation, Remarks on

45, 46

Index, 219

PAGE

Cookery, Good ... ... ... ... ... ... 133

Courtship, Etiquette of 93» 95

Court, Buckingham Palace ,. ... 203

— —, Gentlemen's Dress at 205

, Ladies' Dress at .. 204

, Who may be presented at 204

Mourning 208,209

" y A 1 Id 11 ••• ••• ■•• ••• ••• ••• ^vO

D

Dancers, Good and bad 169, 170

Dances, Modem fashionable 165

Dancing, Styles of 165

Death, Old Customs on the occurrence, of a ... 211, 212

, Things to be done immediately on a ... 210, 211

Dessert, The ... 144

VAxiWtx a la Russe 136

, Arrival of Guests to 139

, Coffee after 145

, Customs of Wine-taking at 142

, Departure after a .-. ... 145

enfamille 141, 145

, Going in to... ... ... ... ... ... 140

, Retirement of the Ladies from 145

, Secrets of a Successful 129

Table, Appointments and Decorations for ... 137

, Tea after ... ... ... ... ... ... 146

, When to issue Invitations for a 135

-, Whom to invite to 135

Question, The ... 128

Tables of last Ten Centuries 1 29 — 13 1

Dinners for Different Seasons 146 — 153

Drawing-room, Rules to be observed at the Queen's 206, 207

Dress, Ball 82

, Dinner ... ... ... ... ... ... 81

, Gentlemen's, in former Days 85, 87

, Gentlemen's, in Modem Times 87

, Ladies' Morning ... ... ... ... ... 81

, Lawn Tennis 80

- — , Neatness in 76

220

Index,

Dress, Suitability ia

, Tricycling ...

, Yichting ...

(Court), Gentlemen^s

, Ladies

PAGE

77
200

80

205

204

Eating and Drinking

English, Foreigner's opinion of the
Etiquette, Origin of the Word ...

114
35

Familiarity, Excessive, to be avoided ...
Family, Royal, How to Address the ...
Father-in-law, Interview with the

Field Sports

Fishing

Fun in the Last Century

x^ uHw* aIS ••• ••• ■•• ••• •••

, Church Service at

, Expression of Sympathy after

, Sunday after

G

Garden Parties, Gentlemen's Dress at . . .

, Ladies' Dress at

Gentleman, Characteristics of a

, Definition of a

, Thackeray's Definition of a

Gentlemen, Different Classes of the order of

Gloves, When to Wear

God-parents, C hoice of

H

Hand, Different Modes of Shaking the

Head-dress, a Gentleman's

Heraldry ...

Honour, Titles of

House, Conduct when Staying in a Friend's

... 38

... 3*5

90

... 194

199

II

... 210

... 213

211, 213

... 214

... 214

87

79
16

15
17
16

88
28, 29

21—23
20, 21

•• 7«

Index.

221

House, Furniture of a ...

Hunting

, Gentlemen's Dress for

, Ladies* Dress for ...

PAGE

io8— III

195—198

... 197

... 197

Inquiries, Acknowledgments for, on a Death

Introduction, Laws of

, Letters of . . .

Invitations, Forms of

. 215

41,42

70

58,59

Jewellery, Gentlemen's ..
, Ladies'

» • • • • •

• » • • • •

• » • • • •

88
81

K

Kissing, Foreigners' Remarks on English

• • • • ■ •

72

Lady, Definition of a

Language, Ruskin's Remarks on
Laughter ...

Lawn Tennis ... ••• ••■ •••
Letter, Addison's Opinion on the Style of a

, German Injunction on Writmg a

' , How to Write a

Letters, How to Write, to Strangers
— — , Proper Terminations to
Levee, Ceremony at the
Licence, Special ...

, Ordinary ...

Luncheon, Definition of

, Cold...

, Hot ...

, Manners at ...

■^ — , ^hat to place on the Table 'or

18, 19

47

48

59,80

54

54

54

56

57
207

96

97
123

124

125

124

124. i?5

222

Index,

M

Manager, A Good
Manners, Dr. Johnson's ,
, Former French

in Early Times

, Mark of Good

, Necessity of Good .

of Last Century

, Polished

Married, Different Ways

to Get

Monuments

Mourners

Mourning

, How Long to Wear

N

Neatness in Dress

• • • ■ •

Nobiliiy, How to Address the

• • 1

PAGB

107, 108
40
12

... 9, 10

... 36

12, 13

10, II

14

96

215, 216

... 213

... 84

... 85

76
38

Paper and Envelopes, Different Kinds of
Parties, Garden ...

, Lawn Tennis ...

, Dresses for Garden

Party, Table Requisites for Entertaining a
Picnics, Conveyance of Guests and Provisions
, Election of Managers for

, Provisions and Beverages at

, Style of Dress for

-, Subscription

--, Things not to be Forgotten for
-, Why People Enjoy

Politeness, Lord Chesterfield's Definition of

Precedency, Laws of

Presents, Christening

, Wedding

to

"3»
190,

55

186

187

114
191
191
190

193
80

191
192
189

13

49
29

93

(^ueen, Ceremony of Presentation to the

2Q6

Index,

223

K

I'AGE

Rank, Modes of Addressing Letters to Persons

of 60, 61

Registrar, Marriage at the Office of a

. ... 98

Ring, Engagement

... 92

, Wedding ... ...

... 98

Rooms, Breakfast

... 108

, Different Styles of...

108— III

, Dining

IC9

, Drawing ..

109, no

, Protest against "Best"

... Ill

, Temperature of

Ill

S
Seaside, Style of Dress for the

87

Sealing-wax

... 56

Servants Gratuities to ...

73

Shooting, Gentlemen's Dress for

198

, Organisation of Parties for

198

oKaiing ••• ... •.. ,, ... .

201

Speech, Inaccuracies of

48, 49

Supper, Arrangement of Table for

160

• L/diA ••• ••» ••■ •■• •••

164-175

, French Display at

160, 161

, riot...

160 — 162

, Impromptu ...

... 162

, Roman Bill of Fare for '.

160

T
Table, Laying the

... 112

Tables, Our Supper

... 161

Tableaux Vivants ...

... 180

, Subjects for

180

Teas, High

154

, Afternoon ...

154

, What to put on the Table for ...

i55» 156

Theatricals, Private

176—184

Toast, How to Prepare Sugared

26

Tricycling

... 2CO

, Gentlemen's Dress for

... 201

, Ladies' Dress for

. . 200

Visiting

62, 74

224

Index,

Visits, Lengths of

Voice, Cultivation of the...

PAGE

66, 67, 70
... 47

W

Waiters

Wallc, Diflferent Styles of

, Difference between a Man's and

Wedding Breakfast

, Church Ceremony at a

, Day before the

, Day of the

, Departure after a ...

, Dress of Guests at a

— — , Guests to be Invited to a

jThings to be Thought of previous

Will, Reading the
Wines, Dinner
, After Dinner

a Woman's

to a

•• 133

44, 45

•• 45
103, 121

102

... 99

loi— 103

... 104

82-84

99
89,90

... 214

.. 143
... 144

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Readers, Cassell's Readable. Illustrated. {List on application.)

Readers for Infant Schools, Coloured. Three Books. 4d. each.

Reader, The Citizen. By H. O. Arnold- Forstbr, M.P. Illustrated,
xs. 6d. Also a Scottish Edition, cloth, xs. 6d.

Reader, The Temperance. By Rev. J. Dbnnis Bird. Cr. 8vo, xs. 6d.

Readers, The ** Modern School " Geographical. {List on application.)

Readers, The ** Modem School." Illustrated. [List on application.)

Reckoning, Howard's Anglo-American Art of. By C. Frushbr
Howard. Paper covers, xs. ; cloth, as. New Edition, 5s.

Round the Empire. By G. R. Parkin. Fully Illustrated, xs. 6d.

Science Applied to Work. By J. A. Bowbr. xs.

Science ox Everyday Life. By J. A. Bowbr. Illustrated, xs.

Shade from Models, Common Objects, and Casts of Ornament,
How to. By W. £. Sparkbs. With 35 Plates by the Author. 38.

Shakspere's Plays for School Use. 5 Books. Illustrated. 6d. each.

Spelling, A Complete Manual of. By J. D. Morbll, LL.D. xs.

Technical Manuals, Cassell's. Illustrated throushout :—

Handrailing and Staircasing, 3s. 6d. — Bricklayers, Drawing for, 38.—
Building Construction, as. — Cabinet-Makers, Drawing for. 3s. —
Carpenters and Joiners, Drawing for, 3s. 6d. — Gothic Stonework^ 3s. —
Linear Drawing and Practical Geometiy, as. — Linear Drawing and
Projection. — The Two Vols, in One, 3s. 6d. — Machinists and Engineers,
Drawing for, 4s. 6d.— Metal-Plate Workers, Drawing for, 3s. — Model
Drawing^ 3s. — Orthographical and Isometrical Projection^ as. — Practical
Perspective, 3s.— Stonemasons, Drawing for, 3s. — Applied Mechanic^
by Sir R. S. Ball, LLD., as.— Systematic Drawing and Shading, as.

Technical Educator, Cassell's. Revised Edition. Four Vols. 5s. each.

Technology, Manuals of. Edited by Prof. Ayrton, F.R.S., and
Richard Wormbll, D.Sc, M.A. Illustrated throughout :—
The Dvein^ of Textile Fabrics, by Prof. Hummel, 5s.— Watch and
Clock Making, by D. Glasgow, Vice-President of the British Horo-

hurst, 4s. 6d.— Practical Mechanics, by Prof. Perry, M.E..^. 6d.—
Cutting Tools Worked by Hand and Machine, by Prof. Smith, 3s. 6d.

Things New and Old ; or, Stories from English History. By
If. O. Arnold-Forstbr, M.P. Fully Illustrated, and strongly bound
in Cloth. Standards I. & II., gd. each; Standard III., is.;
SUndard IV., xs. 3d. ; Standards V., VI., & VII.. xs. 6d. each.

This World of Ours. By H. O. Arnold- Forstbr, M.P. lUusd- 38. 6d.

StltcHmi /rem Caiull # CompaH'ft PuHuaHsiu.

^oolts foe f ontm purple.

"X,mle Folk!" H«ir-Yiarly Volume. Conolning 43" 4" pagt

■boQt9c»I)luItIllions, and Picluiesin Colour. BoBrdi.Jt. fid. ; clt
Bo-Peep. AEoolirarthe LillleOnu. With Odpnal Sloria and'

mtutntRl ihiouEhou^ Yearly Volume. Board). ».M. ; doth, .
Buhful Fift«n. By 1. T. Meade. lUuSnied. 31. 6d.
Tbe Peep of Day. Caaitlt lUnstraltd EdiHn. aa. Gd.
Hassle Steele's Diary. By E. A. Dillwvh. la. fid.
A Bundle of TalH. By Hagoie Browhe (Aultaor

King," &e.), S«>i BaowBK, and AuKT Ethel, ja. fiu.
Pairy Tales In olber Lands. By Julia Goddadd. Illuslrated. 3a. fid.
Pleaaaat Work for Busy F-Ingsn. ByMACsiE Browhe. Illuslraled. 5a.
Born a King. By Fsance; and Marv AaNOLn-FoasTEK. (The Ufe at

AlfoDioXIII., i)iE Boy Kingof Spaia.) lUusualed. is.

aok. In Six Seclional Vols., paper boards,

" Warned -a

Schooli

.each.

! Thea

By A

MaEic aT Home. By Prof KorPHAH. lllustraied. Cloth gill. 5S.
Little Mother Bunch. By Mn. Molh5wq«th. llloatrated. Clot^3•.6d-
Pictnres of School Life and Boyhood. Seleizted ftiiin the beii Aoihon.

Edited by Fercv f iTiaBRALP, M.A. as. fid.
Heroes of kvery-day Life. By Lausa Lane. With Btxml » Full'

page LlaiimiDlll. Cloth. ». fid.
Books for YouQB People. Illu.tr«cd. CUxbgilt, ss. each.

VUUwSKlS th« Di^'St 'wilS^'uis' FoMSt. bT'iw

Old. ^T ;. Fred. HolBciu. I Hm. Mn. Creeoi.

lilQnduaU. ByL.T.

i«(Bl. Bit 1- T. '

rn 8vo Library. Ckta/ £a'tiiMu. Gilt edgei, ai

gnrly BiplDron

Selections Jrom Cassell # Company* s Publications,

The ** Cross and Crown'* Series. Illustrated, as. 6d. each.

Freedom's Sword : A Story of the

Days of Wallace and Bruce.

By Annie S. Swan.
Strong to Suflbr: A Story of

the Jews. By E. Wynne.
Heroes of the XndiAa Empire:

or, Storiee • of Valour and

Victory. By Ernest Foster.
In Iietters of Flame: A Story

of the Waldenaas. By C. L.

Mat^auz.

A Storr of
By Thomas

Throuffh Trial to Triumph. By

Madeline B. Hunt.
By Fire and Sword:

the Huguenots.

Archer.
Adam Hepburn's Vow: A Tale of

SLirk and Covenant. By Annie

S. Swan.
No. XIII.; or. The Story of the

Lost Vestal. A Tale of Early

Christian Days. By Emma MarslialC

** Golden Mottoes'* Series, The. Each Book containing 908 pages, with
Four full-page Original Illustrations. Crown 8vo, cloth gilt, as. each.

'Nil Desperandum." By the
Rev. F. Langbridge, M.A.

'Bear and Forbear.'* By Sarah
Pitt.

•Foremost if I Can.** By Helen
Atteridge.

** Honour is my Ghiide.** By Jeanie

Herios (Mrs. Adams-Acton).
**Alm at a Sure Bnd." By Emily

Searchfield.
** He Conquers who Endures.** By

the Author of *'May Cunninghams

Trial," &c

Cassell's Picture Story Books. Each containing about Sixty Pages of
Pictures and Stories, &c. 6d. each.

liitUe Talks.
Bright Stars.
Nursery Tosrs.
Pet's Posy.
Tiny Tales.

Daisy's Story Book.
Dot's Story Book.
A Nest of iStoiles.
Oood-Night Stories.
Chats for Small Chatterers.

Auntie's Stor.es.
Birdie's Story Book.
Little Chimes.
A Sheaf of Tales.
Dewdrop Stories.

Cassell's Sixpenny Story Books. All Illustrated, and containing
Interesting Stories by well-known writers.

The Smuggler's Cave.
Little IdBEie.

Little Bird, Life and Adven-
tures o£
Ltike Bamioott.

The Boat Club.

Little Piokles.

The Zlohester College Boys.

Ky First Cruise.

The Little Peaoemaker;

The Delft Jug.

Casseirs Shilling Story Books. All Illustrated, and conuining Interest-
ing Stories.

Bunty and the Boys.

The Heir of Elmdale. _

The Mystery at Shonoliif

SohooL
Claimed at Last, and Boy's

Beward.
Thorns and Tangles.
The Cuokoo in theB,obin*s Nest.
John's Mistake.
The History of Five Little

Fitohers.
Diamonds in the Sand.

Surly Bob.
The G-iant*s Cradle.
Shag and DolL
Aunt Lucia's Looket.
The Magio Mirror.
The Cost of Bevengo.
Clever Frank.
Among the Bedskina.
The Ferryman of Brill.
Harry MaxwelL
A Banished Monaroh.
Seventeen Cats.

Illustrated Books for the Little Ones. Containing interesting Stories.
All Illustrated, xs. each ; cloth gilt, is. 6d.

Firelight Stories.
Sunlight and Shade.
Bub-a-Dub Tales.

Fine Feathers snd Fluffy For.

Sorombles and Sorapea,

Tittle Tattle Tales.

Up and Down the Oarden.

▲u Sorts of Adventures.

Our Sunday Stories.

Our Holiday Hours.

Albums for Children. 3s. 6d. each.

Indoors and Out.

Some Farm Friends.

Wandering Ways.

Dumb Friends.

Those Golden Sands.

Little Mothers ft their Chlldreih

Our Pretty Pets.

Our Sohoolday Hours.

Creatures Tame.

Creatures Wild.

The Album for Home, SohooW
and Play. Containing Stories by
Popolar Authors. lUustrated.

My Own Album of Animals.
With Full-page IDustratioiis.

Picture Album of All Sorts.

Full-page Illustrations.
The Chlt-Chat Album.

throughout

With

StltcHent from Catsell 4 CemfiaH/i PjiiHtalitmt.

'>WiuiUd-aK]iiK"Serica. IJluilnted. 31. U. each.

Oramt Grandoaamma, By C«rgjna H- Synp.

nruiud-BEiiiiifDr,aowiEs^>e'^Nan>Tr Bli^niH to BtflhlB.
The W(^<ri^Mk^.™ A 's^^'^''''^"'"''^ ■'■'"""' Volumet
- printed a

Ubruy of Wandi
cloih, IB. 6d.

Caiiell'i Elehtccnpenny Stoiy BooVi.

CsmpBeU iJiri Olydo. By E. C

itcd Gift-booki for Boyi. Paper,
I WoniJm^or Bodily atrmi

■ull'i Eleb

a Ddwo* of K DookBy^

Up \bja lAddar.
lHok'« HVTD; Mil
itw coup B<jr.

Wonb mon thita 13»'d1iL

out Books for Youni Ptople. Bv Populu Amhon. With Pour
Origiiul IJInsmiioiu in encli. Cloin gill, im. 6d. eicli.
Ths Boy Hasten of KantoidtT. ' IMpr Xonk'i Kolu. By ibs Rmv

ByfdnrdS.EIhl. F. Llni«rtd[<,

BhodB-1 BawsFdi a^ 'If FnltrTI'lali's^urpoae^ or, TM

7*sk Xanlail^ JSSS^ _ Tim Ttanmion'a Trlul. u/ctgin
TTt&^ l^»-B*tU>I or, Tk* Weilheilr-

TllT«* Aduda. ' Urnolm'i StumbliDB-Sloclt. BtJ»11b

MtUn. Br&HUliHtt. ^^ Goddird,

Cuicll'* Two-Shming Story Boaks. 'nlu!|iliicr^

rtaa^iUdMn of Ol
■Wd Madorr.

Two TanTPOUT Bit

Selections from Cassell % Comfany's Publications,

Bound in

Three Homes.
Working to Win.
Perila Afloat and
Ashore.

Brigands

Cheap Editions of Popular Volumes for Young: People.
cloth, gilt edges, as. 6d. each.

In Qiiestk of Ghold: or, irnder For Queen and King.

the WhaUga Falls. Bather West,

- On Board the Esmeralda; or,

Martin Leigh's Log.
The Bomanoe of Invention:

Vignettes from the Annals

of Industry and Soienoe,

The "Deerfopt" Series. By Edward S. Ellis. With Four full-page
Illustrations in each Book. Cloth, bevelled boards, as. 6d. each.

The Hunters of the Oaark. I_ The Camp in the Mountains.
Ihe Iiast War Trail.

The "Log Cabin "Series. ' By Edward S. Ellis. With Four Full-
page Illustrations in each. Crown 8vo, cloth, as. 6d. each.

The Lost Trail. I Camp-Fire and Wigwam.

Footprints in the Forest.

The "Great River** Series. By Edward S. Ellis.
Crown 8vo, cloth, bevelled boards, as. 6d. each.

Down the Mississippi. I Iiost in the Wilda.

Up the Tapajos ; or. Adventures in BrasiL

Illustrated.

The *• Boy Pioneer '* Series. By Edward S. Ellis. With Four Full-
page Illustrations in each Book. Crown 8vo, cloth, as. 6d. each.

Ned in the Woods. A Tale of
Early Days in the West
Ned in the Blook House.

Ned on the Biver. A Tale of Indian
River Warfare.
Story of Pioneer Life in Kentucky.

The "World in Pictures." Illustrated throughout, as. 6d. each.

A Bamble Bound France.
All the Bussias.
Chats about GKermany.
The Irfuid of the Pyramids
(Egypt).

Peeps into China.

The Eastern Wonderland ( Japanl.
Glimpses of South Amerioa.
Hound Afrift*.

The Ijand of Teiualea (India).
The Isles of the Faoiflo.

Half-Crown Story Books.

Uttle Hinges.

Margaret's Enemy.

Pen's Perplexities.

Notable dnipwreoks.

GhoMen Days.

Wonders of Common Things.

Books for the Little Ones.

Bhymes for the Toung Folk.
By William Allingham. BeautifiiUy
Illustrated. 3s. 6d.

The History Sorap Book: With
nearly i,oqo EngravingB. Cloth>
7s. 6d.

Truth will Out. ^ ^ ^ ,

Soldier and Patriot (Qoorge Waah<

TheToung Man in the Battle of

Iiife. By the Rev. Dr. Landels.
At the South Pole.

My IM^unr. ^th la Coloured Plates
and gw Woodcuts. Is.

The Sunday Sorap Book. Witli
Sereral Hundred Illustrations. Paper
boards. Ss. 6d. ; cloth, gilt edges. Os.

The Old Fairy Tales. With Original
lUostrations. Boards, Is.; cloth,
la.ed.

GmhmU ft Company's Complete Catalogue will be sent post

Jru on application to

'k

CASSELL £t COMPANY, Limited, Ludgmie HUl,

Mendon.

rvv^

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